Tag Archives: healing

Gratitude, Day 30 of 48: Perspective

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You’ve come a long way baby!
You were scared to live without him
and then he left.
You thought you were going to die,
but you didn’t.
You were terrified you wouldn’t find a new home,
and then you did.
You weren’t sure you could make ends meet,
but you have, month after month after month.
Just look at you go, sweetheart!
See how it all works out?
From my perspective, you’re a superhero.
And…I LOVE YOU.

Gratitude: Day 29 of 48

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When he left I tried to forgive him.
I wanted to forgive him and I wanted to forgive the other woman.
But as much as I tried, it wasn’t working.
I was still angry, lonely, grieving.
I was still terrified, feeling betrayed, victimized.
Then I realized I didn’t need to work on forgiving them,
I needed to work on forgiving myself.
I am training myself to understand
that I’m worthy of love even if I’m not perfect.
I’m working on forgiving myself
for tolerating the way I was treated in my marriage.
I’m working on forgiving myself for being human.
With the focus back on me I can actually feel
my body/spirit/mind/heart/self as it heals.
I’m finally getting to know the woman I am,
and I’m discovering that I love her.

Gratitude: Day 28 of 48

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We might feel haunted but what needs to get done.
We might feel driven to achieve success,
and we might believe that we’ll be happy
once we do.
I am one of those people.
I am also fortunate to have teachers, mentors,
guides and wise ones show me a different way.
When I feel haunted by the to do list,
I can pause.
When I think I need to be more successful,
I can pause.
The household chores don’t all have to get done at once.
I don’t need to achieve overnight success.
I don’t have to prove myself to the world.
I can pause to enjoy where I am and who I am right now.
What a relief!

Gratitude: Day 24 of 48

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Yep, I’m grateful for gratitude.

Halfway through this challenge,
and I have to pause to be grateful
for gratitude itself.
I began a gratitude journaling practice
years before my marriage ended,
and had made it a habit
to focus on what was going well
in my marriage,
so I was shocked when
my husband announced it was over.
Turns out he had been doing the opposite,
focusing on what I did that annoyed him.
Although I pleaded with him to step back
and look at the good in our lives,
he had made up his mind
that I was the worst wife ever
and there was nothing I could do about that.
I continued to write in my gratitude journal
as my life fell apart at the seams.
I continued writing in my journal
even as the voices in my head told me
I’d be better off dead.
I continued writing in my journal
as I weathered storm after storm after storm.
I have learned perseverance, strength,
discipline, will, resilience.
I have learned how to put things
into perspective.
I have learned that I don’t need a man
to feel worthy—
I am worthy because I exist.
I survived.
And I attribute a large part of my success
to the mindset I developed
while practicing gratitude.
Thank you gratitude!

Gratitude: Day 18 of 48

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And doggone it…people like me!

After years of being told I wasn’t good enough

My dietary choices were offensive,

It wasn’t ok to sit and knit when visiting the in-laws,

I didn’t keep the house clean enough,

My meditation practice was selfish—

The old programming has been hard to uproot.

But I am fortunate, because I have been given

Tools and resources to recover.

One of them is positive self-talk.

My current favorite mantra is

I love you and I’m proud of you.

It works wonders. I feel more confident and relaxed,

It no longer feels like a catastrophe when my house isn’t perfectly clean and organized,

And I like myself. I like being me.

I’m ok with being alone.

Try it out. See how it feels.

If it feels fake and forced,

Keep trying. You might discover

That you actually do love yourself.

Gratitude: Day 14 of 48

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I see you.
I hear you.
You’re going to be ok.

I’m proud of you.
I love you.


For the longest time I was waiting for someone
to speak words of kindness to me,
someone besides the therapists I was paying,
or the people in my twelve step meetings,
or the coach I had hired,
or the guided meditations I was listening to…
Sometimes I’d speak with a friend on the phone,
sometimes a family member,
but there were many, many times
when I wished for words of kindness
but I found myself utterly alone.
It finally dawned on me one day
that I am the one I’ve been waiting for,
and I could speak kindness to myself.
I also discovered
that self-love isn’t experienced
at the level of the intellect;
it must be felt.
So I began imagining what it would feel like
if I could really love, respect, and support myself.
I began speaking words of kindness to myself,
just to try it out, to hear myself being kind to myself.
Slowly, s l o w l y over time
I began to feel a change within me.
Slowly I began giving myself
the same kindness, care and concern
I would offer to a good friend.
Slowly I felt compassion for myself.
Slowly self-love become real.

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If you suffer from feelings of inadequacy, anxiety for the future, or the pain of unmet needs, I highly recommend checking out the work of self-compassion researcher Kristin Neff. Her site includes information about self-compassion and exercises to get you started with a self-compassion practice. There is also a self-compassion test so you can see where you fall on the self-compassion scale!

Gratitude: Day 13 of 48

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Growing up in the woods
my fondest childhood memories are of the times I spent outside.
The feel of the forest in early spring
when the trees are just beginning to bud out.
Sitting in an ocean of yellow buttercups.
Bullfrog croaking, hazy summer afternoon,
Patter of rain on countless leaves.
Somehow on the way to becoming an adult
I learned that laundry, grocery shopping and email
were more important than making time for myself to get outside.
I have deprived myself of this potent medicine
oh, how I have been deprived…
Yet
sometimes when I get over myself and I take time to get outside,
my soul is pretty much instantly restored.
I get to bask in this incredible feeling of
clarity, insight and harmony.
When I am outside
I receive the beauty, the space, the inspiration
to move, dance, BE with what is.
In my dreaming I merge with the Universal Intelligence.
In that place I am sending blessings of love
in all directions.