I allowed myself to be nourished today. I let myself wake up naturally. The sun was shining. I let myself be nourished by my home, the quiet, the comforts. I nourished my body with healthy food, plenty of water, a good walk outside, sunshine, fresh air. My heart was nourished by the warmth of a single mom friend who walked with me. Back home, I felt completely uninspired to cook myself dinner. I ordered in, paid for some kind soul to cook for me. This felt like a true luxury as the food was delivered to my door and I gave thanks many times as I ate. I let myself settle into rest earlier than normal. It feels so strange to be this well-nourished. I want this feeling to be more familiar. God, let deep rest and nourishment become normal for me.
Can someone please tell me just what is enough? What is a big enough house, or how much is enough food to be able to live in health? And why are there those living with very little who manage to be happy, and then there are those who live in excess who are miserable? And then there are those who simply don’t have enough and they live in despair, and there are those with a surplus who are celebrating their good fortune… And then there is everyone in-between, fluctuating with gratitude and trust, allowing, resisting, judging, surrendering. And then, and I’m still wondering about this— there are people who don’t have access to clean drinking water, while I take luxurious baths with candles, and epsom salt and essential oils, and I really can’t understand why this disparity exists…. It’s a good thing we humans are so resilient. Otherwise all this variety could really make us lose our minds.
A girlfriend said, Hey, if we start tomorrow Day 48 will be the start of the Chinese New Year. How amazing is that? I said Let’s do it. So starting tomorrow We will be sharing what we’re grateful for. If you want a boost in your health and happiness levels, you can join us! Warning: Practicing gratitude may lead to better relationships Increased vitality and Deeper Satisfaction with life. You have been warned!
Follow @lorien and @shivati.soulspark on Instagram and tag us in your gratitude posts! We would love it if you would join us to share what you are grateful for. ❤️✨🙏🏻🌈
She stopped. Sat down. Breathed. Ventured within. As her shoulders relaxed away from her ears She could hear the same old fears rattling around her brain, clamoring for attention. She dropped her awareness deeper, all the way down into her belly. There she felt the ancient tension of the ones who struggled for survival, the ones who toiled and strained and numbed their pain with the fruit of the vine again and again. Then she prayed, calling in the Angels, The Teachers, The Wise Ones, The Guides, The Ascended Masters, The Well Ancestors: Thank you for being present. Thank you for holding me in your Matrix of Light. Thank you for rewiring my neural circuitry. Thank you for restructuring my DNA. Thank you for helping me to see what needs to be seen, do what needs to be done, hear what needs to be heard, forgive what needs to be forgiven, heal what needs to be healed… Breath by breath, forward and backward, across all time and all space, eventually she sits complete within herself in the center of this Universal Mandala feeling and knowing ALL IS WELL.
Slowing down, taking time… Body run down says Stop. Rest. I listen. I rest as much as I can in between classes. It would be so easy to blame. To go back into victim mode and complain about the upheaval. But that’s not congruent with who I am. Who I am is strong. Who I am is loving. Who I am is resourceful, creative, inspired. Who I am is kind. So instead of looking out and blaming, I look in and ask, What can be done now? My body says Rest. I listen. I rest.
More progress… Was able to pay the dentist right after having my teeth cleaned (not cheap, out of pocket) when the last two times before today I had to say Please mail me the invoice. Thinking ahead about finding enough work I reached out to my colleagues and asked them to consider me if they needed coverage for their classes. I cooked an amazing dinner for myself and my kids and ate heartily (yes, the woman who was diagnosed with anorexia a year and a half ago, who was down to 98 lbs, yes, that woman ate well and enjoyed her food) And the biggest progress of all: I feel good. Let me say that again: I FEEL GOOD Hallelujah, I FEEL GOOD!
I was talking with a friend about wealth… She said that I am far wealthier than some ultra wealthy people who have amassed incredible material wealth. She said that I am far wealthier than they in terms of my ability to feel happy and fulfilled and to experience peace in the present moment… And I got to thinking about my two children, how bright, and healthy and beautiful they are, and my yoga and meditation practice, my work teaching yoga, the talents God has given me to write, to draw, to sing, to move with my heart. I thought about my bank account, and although it’s presently modest, I can feel grateful and proud about how hard I’ve been working to achieve financial stability, several months of sobriety under my belt, maintaining consistency in my spiritual practice, gratitude journaling every night, pausing and appreciating nature in its many forms, the changes of the seasons, the fact I can see and hear and smell and taste and touch this present moment, alive in my body, alive all around me… And the connection, the human connection that my work gives me, spending time with beloveds who actually choose me as their teacher, who come back not because they have to, but because they want to— And I realize that yes, yes indeed— I am ultra wealthy.
If it were easy to train your brain everyone would be doing it. It is, in fact, one of the most difficult things to do in the world. When you install a new habit, you are actually changing the physical structure of your brain. New circuits are created, old ones are pruned. While the new is being established the old seems to redouble its efforts to keep you the way you’ve always been. We equate familiarity with safety even when the familiar is killing us. If you are trying to replace an old unhealthy habit with a new healthy one I hope you know how strong you are. I hope you can take moments to celebrate yourself for living all the way to this point and for taking charge of the way your future will take shape by attending to this now. Happy brain training, friends… my beautiful, strong, courageous friends.
I give the good medicine that heals. My voice carries magic that soothes, uplifts and restores. My touch brings life and renewal. I watch as tension melts away and peace returns to those who come seeking the healing I offer. I instruct them to remain present. I remind them that we only have this now. I can articulate perfectly how our brains are hardwired to remember negative information, and how there is so much hope in neuroplasticity, our brain’s capacity to be reshaped. I marvel at this ability to give my students what they need, to instruct poses that strengthen, balance, reshape and empower, to guide their breathing, slow their heart rates and allow the present moment to blossom like a flower within them. But when it’s time for me to take my own medicine— well, let’s just say that I’m a wonderful doctor but a terrible patient.