Dear One, I know your heart hurts. I know you feel confused. I know you wonder if you will ever let yourself be fully seen by another. I know the world feels heavy. I know that the tears are waiting just behind your eyes. So let yourself cry. This world needs your tears. They are the holiest of waters, washing away the dust and dirt of countless injustices done to your precious, tender heart. Dear One, I see you, and I am grateful for your courage, for your willingness to show up on this day as messy and uncertain and vulnerable as you feel. Stay open, Dear One. Stay open and breathe. This too will pass. This too will pass.
Alright, so let’s say you’ve broken free of all of the constraints of your past, everyone’s ideas of who you should be, the accumulation of the world’s tension around being “right” and “wrong,” and any residual hesitation seeping out from your genetic or cultural or religious or societal inheritance. Let’s say that you’ve arrived in this moment aware of your complete, total, and utter freedom, to be, do, think and have anything your heart desires. Knowing that you are completely free and no one can hold you back, now what will you do?
A part of my healing journey has been to loosen up a little on some of my routines. I have been accused of being rigid, too attached to my routines, and each time I felt the urge to defend my practices if not out loud, then inwardly, to myself. As I began to peer inside a little more, I could see how my routines were sometimes fillers, excuses not to be completely present, because I could check out as I attended to them… and so this need to defend my practices came from anxiety that they might not be serving me, and the pain of feeling like my time spent doing them was a complete waste. Then again… Is there such a thing? Could it be that my practices served me then, but I eventually outgrew them, and now they no longer serve me the way they did before? Could I drop the shame around change? Don’t we learn by making mistakes? Can’t I ease up about being perfect, being right, and instead, can I welcome this moment with my heart that yearns to love more open?
I had fun with this one, friends! If you haven’t created a triolet before, try it out. Here’s the NaPoWriMo prompt for the day. And here is my triolet…🌱 🌳💐🌷🌲🌳🌲🌳🌳🌲🍃💐🌷🌳💐🌷🌲🌳🌲🌳🌳🌲🍃💐🌷
A Triolet For A Spring Evening
Because it is dusk and the light is receding I’ll speak my heart quickly and be on my way. I never told you what I was really needing because it is dusk and the light is receding and any words you speak may be misleading… You appear much different in the light of day. Because it is dusk and the light is receding I’ll speak my heart quickly and be on my way.
A gathering of beautiful friends brings me back to a natural rhythm, closer to my true nature, more authentic. Food prepared consciously nourishes our bodies and souls. Sitting with beloveds and sharing a meal attunes us collectively to our shared visions. Moving into a mode of celebration opens our eyes to the abundance that is here now, opens our hearts to the recognition that it is a gift to be alive. I choose to move towards those who are willing to recognize the good in their lives. Those who give thanks are way more fun to be around than those who can’t see any reason to be grateful! I’m glad to be one of the happy ones who chooses to see the good in life. I am blessed to openly celebrate how wonderful it is to be alive.
Industry. Productivity. Recommitting to creating a financially sustainable livelihood doing what I love. Being willing to go the distance, to pay whatever the price to live a life in alignment with who I am at the center of my being. I care not for the opinions of those who settle for mediocrity; they cannot help me. I will not ask for permission to walk this path of living heartfelt into my divine destiny. My clarity is my gift to myself. I don’t need to change what I feel and I am no longer afraid of what arises from my depths to be seen and heard and embraced like never before. Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed, so I live this day as if it is my last, heartfelt, walking my path of divine destiny.
Don’t wait until the end of the day to say the good things in your heart. By the end of the day your tired body and mind will speak louder, and what comes out then will not be nearly as helpful as the sweet nectar flowing from your gloriously loving heart.
What question is burning in your heart, searing your mind, waking you up at night? Are you willing to feel the question with every fiber of your being? Are you willing to live with your yearning for an answer? Are you willing to sit with the uncertainty for as long as it takes, as many days, weeks, months, years (lifetimes) as it will take to live your way into the answer? This is the path of the heart-strong warrior. Are you willing to walk this path? I must warn you it doesn’t get easier. As your practice deepens so do the questions. At some point you’ll be holding the entire universe inside your heart asking yourself, What did I get myself into now? You’ll see that you are alone in this question with no safe place to run or hide and no one to keep you company, not even the wind.
Watching. Waiting. Wanting. Cultivating patience (not an easy task.) Holding a vision. Embracing discipline. Trusting. Asking. Believing. And then… tending to the tenderness, and breathing into the gaping open places, the void that was left the last time around. Openness and readiness are a call for fulfillment, but not its promise. I am waiting for that promise.