Tag Archives: heart

I’ll Be Here

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Miracles are everywhere.
How many you experience
depends entirely
on how open you are.

I feel so closed.
I don’t know how to be open.


Can you breathe?

Yes.

Well then, let’s breathe.
You’ll open naturally
if you breathe.

This is taking too long.
Where are the miracles?

Ah. I see.
Your impatience is what blocks you.
You must trust
with all your heart.

Trust? Why should I trust?
Nothing ever works out in my life.

Ah. Is that true, my friend?
Nothing works out?

Nothing.

Well, I can’t convince you otherwise.
Maybe I can’t help you after all.
Who am I to talk you out of your misery,
when you fight with every fiber of your being
to keep it close to you?

Let’s talk again
when you’re ready to be happy.
You’ll have to die first though.

Die?


Yes. Die.
You’ll have to die
to who you thought you were
so that you can be reborn
to who you might be.
But you must be brave.
Most won’t tolerate such an initiation.
Let me know when you’re ready.
I’ll be here.

Let’s Breathe

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It’s time.
It’s time to let go of the stuff that no longer serves you.
It’s time to stand in your truth
and lead from your heart center.
It’s time to take action,
so summon your courage.

But…I don’t have any courage.

Of course you have courage.
Don’t you have a heart?

Yes. I have a heart.

Well if you have a heart
then you have courage.

Oh.

Sit, my friend.
Close your eyes.
Put your hands over your heart.
Breathe deeply.
Feel your heart beating.
There. There is your courage.

But I’m afraid.

Of course you’re afraid!
The old you doesn’t want to change.
But you are not your old self.
You are not your family, your race,
your gender, your job, your role.
You are not your broken places
crying out for healing.

You are the one who knows the light,
who moves continually toward it
in ever-widening circles of grace and love.
You are the one who seeks expression
of the gifts buried within you,
who knows these gifts will bless the world.

Gifts? What gifts? I don’t have any gifts.

Of course you have gifts!
Out of 7.7 billion people on this planet,
there is only one you.
You are unique.
Therefore, you have gifts.

Oh.

You can feel fear
and take action anyway.
You can have doubts
but know that you have something to give.
Feel the fear, have the doubts,
but move toward your dream.
This is courage. You are courage.
We need you. Please do not leave us in darkness.
We need your light.

But I can’t do this. I’m not strong enough.

You are not alone.
We are with you.
Every single one of us who has a heart—
we are with you.
For now, all I need you to do is breathe.
Can you do that?

Yes. I can breathe.

Good. Then let’s breathe.

Beloved Fragrance

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I’ve been searching for something out there,
sometimes catching a whiff of its fragrance
in the wind.
It would render me melancholy
to sense it but experience it
so far away,
when my heart longed for this thing
I could not know.
Sometimes it was a rush of cold air
into my nostrils
as I stepped from my grandmother’s house
into the winter night
and I’d search for the star
in the dark blue sky
that told me the light
was returning soon.
For the longest time
I feared the magic and suppressed it
much to my heart’s dismay.
The whole world seemed cold and dark
and I was trapped in a prison
of my own making.
Spirit came to rattle me out of my cage
and throw me into the light of day.
Such a fool I was,
resisting a project of God’s hand.
How can I stop the ocean from surging?
How can I move the sun in the sky?
How can I make the moon glow brightly?
How can I give the gift of new life?
I only experience these things
because consciousness pours through me.
Who made this consciousness,
the perceiver and the perceived?
My body speaks clearly.
Its language is believed.
I trust the longing in me now.
The magic in me swells alive within.
I open the door to the cold and dark everywhere
and catch its beloved fragrance on the wind.

How Grace Flies In

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Ah, how Grace does swoop in
with so many blessings
when my heart is open
and my mind relaxed.
I let the old Lorien die—
the Lorien who was attached
to her stories of her woundedness,
beliefs in deficiency,
resentment toward her imagined oppressors—
I let that Lorien die.
The new Lorien who emerged
was willing to put more attention on her future
than the old Lorien was putting on her past.
This new Lorien was excited to know her power.
She longed for more and believed she was worthy
of the good life had in store for her.
In this place of faith and confidence
Grace emerged.
And how it has swept into my life
with so many blessings
now that my heart is open
and my mind relaxed.

Grace, Magic, Life

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Feeling grateful for unexpected grace,
the way the light shines just so
as the sun begins to set,
the way my son dances as he eats
and the way my daughter
sees everything as alive.
This evening I was filled
with the light and the kindness
of beloveds in a virtual meditation circle;
The miracle of technology unfolds,
and here we are instantly connected—
women from all over:
California, Canada,
New Mexico, New Jersey,
Colorado, Maryland, Australia…
Just like that we see one another’s faces,
we hear one another’s laughter,
we get to share this one vibrant moment
of existence on planet Earth.
When I get out of my head
and drop into my heart,
the problems set on the stage
of linear time and linear mind
just disappear,
and I’m left with the wonder and awe
and innocence of a child.
Thank you, Sweet Spirit,
for this moment of grace.
Thank you, Sweet Spirit,
for the magic of life.

No More

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My mind says “more” is the answer.
More money.
More time.
More rest.
More companionship.
More attention.
More food, more fun, more friends.
More understanding.
More patience.
More sunshine.
More travel.
And here’s my favorite,
after a year of celibacy—
more sex.
But the truth coming from my heart is
this is enough.
All of it.
Enough.
I have enough money, enough time, enough rest.
I get enough companionship, enough attention.
I have enough food, fun and friends,
enough understanding,
enough patience,
enough sunshine,
enough travel.
Now, because I haven’t had any in a year,
it’s a stretch to say
I have enough sex
but you know what?
Celibacy won’t kill me…
I am living proof.
So maybe, just maybe,
I can let “enough” be my mantra.
Enough. Enough. Enough.
I have enough.
I am enough.
Life is enough.
What will I say to my mind
when it argues with this?
No more.

Whole Regardless

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What is this yearning,
this longing for connection,
for closeness?
I can’t find what I seek outside of myself.
There is no one out there
who could fill the need within me.
There is a gaping hole in my heart
Left by the one
who said I do,
and then who retracted
his willingness
to explore our togetherness
eight years later,
saying
I don’t anymore.
But is this even true?
Was there ever a heart to break?
Or was there just an aching need
for wholeness?
Maybe he didn’t really leave a hole…
Maybe he left me to find out
that I am always whole,
regardless.