Tag Archives: higher power

Gratitude Day 38 of 48: Prayer

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There is so much wisdom in surrender,
knowing that I don’t know,
opening to guidance,
keeping the faith that there’s a reason,
relaxing deeper into trust.
When I could finally let go
of the life I thought I had,
the life I felt entitled to,
I finally had the space to welcome
my real life, as it is, right now.
Then the real healing could begin.
I had to let go of my marriage
and I had to let go of my anger
toward my children’s father
for abandoning the marriage.
I had to let go of control
(I had none to begin with).
When everything fell apart
and there was nowhere to go
but through,
I learned to get clear and sober
and fill my mind with prayer.
I learned to turn everything over
to a power greater than myself.
I turned over my thoughts,
words and actions,
my hopes, dreams and fears,
my beliefs, perceptions,
my ideas of success and failure.
Somehow, grace pulled me through
the darkest nights of my soul;
somehow I survived the changes
that took time…
I am grateful for prayers,
sacred words spoken
that bolster my courage
and soothe my bodymind.
I am grateful that my whole life
has become a prayer.

Good and Evil

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I began the day in prayer,
turning it over,
asking God for guidance.
I felt good, knowing
everything would be ok.
The morning sun
gilded every leaf on the trees outside my window
and the autumn sky was a powdery blue
so soft it nearly broke my heart.
I moved and moved and moved more stuff
from my old house into my new.
I worked and worked and worked.
By evening my mind was worn,
my temper was hot
and I didn’t want to do one more thing for anybody.
Then I wondered if the struggle between good and evil,
darkness and light,
was really a stuggle between
the fresh mind of a person newly awakened
and the tired mind of a person ready for sleep…

Day By Day

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Working hard, day by day
to pick myself up, dust myself off,
and move forward.
Working hard, day by day
to provide the things we need
to live our best life.
Working hard, day by day,
to see my character defects
and what I can do to improve them.
Working hard, day by day,
to see how fortunate I already am,
and to give thanks for what I already have.

Self-Love + Serenity = A Miracle (Hopefully)

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Even though in the past
I interpreted challenges like these
as evidence that I was somehow deficient,
today I deeply love and accept myself
and I am willing to see myself
with the eyes of love.
Even though I find myself
uncertain of my future,
my AC has gone belly up,
and now the outlets powering
my refrigerator and freezer
are no longer working,
today I deeply love and accept myself
and I am wiling to see myself
with the eyes of love.
Even though I never thought I’d be here,
never thought that at the age of 42
I’d struggle with anxiety and depression,
wondering where I’ll live
and how I’ll make ends meet
for myself and my children,
today I deeply love and accept myself
and I am willing to see myself
with the eyes of love.
I am willing to change and grow.
I am willing to learn new skills.
I am willing to stand in my power.
I am willing to shift this situation.
Now, God, grant me serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can
and wisdom to know the difference.

No End

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Grief:
Non-linear.
Messy.
Unpredictable.
Just when I think to myself
I’ve got this, I’m better,
suddenly,
I’m back down on my knees
by the side of my bed
sobbing the Serenity Prayer
to some Higher Power
I hope exists
but whose presence
I cannot quite feel
in those moments
of deep sadness and disconnection.
I turn back to my breath.
I sigh out the deep pain,
but it keeps coming,
the tears keep coming.
Is there no end to this?

The One Source

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The path of grace is elusive,
like the path of healing,
or the path of awakening…
You can’t find IT…
You must let IT find you.
And maybe,
could it be
that grace
and healing
and awakening
are all intertwined,
or better yet,
flowing from the same source?
What if all those
going in search of anything
finally recognized
that we are all seeking
the same thing?
What if we all finally took a moment
to just sit still, and breathe,
and remember
the One Source of Everything?

Closer to Peace

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Healing isn’t linear.
As much as we want it to be,
as much as we want to control this process,
there comes a moment
when we need to submit,
surrender to the Divine Will,
and let go into the inevitable.
There is no neat line to walk on,
only spirals and curves
and portals to different dimensions…
quantum realities,
awaiting our observation,
our awakening.
I’ve discovered
that trying to control
leads to more struggle,
but breathing,
accepting where I am now,
and praying earnestly
brings me closer to peace.
If you are suffering in this moment,
this is my wish for you:
That you breathe,
accept where you are now,
and pray to your Higher Power
with an earnest heart,
that you may be brought
closer to peace.