Tag Archives: honesty

I Will Enjoy This Life

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If I can’t enjoy the little moments
tucked inside my hours,
how will I enjoy my days?
If I can’t enjoy my days,
how I will enjoy my weeks?
If I can’t enjoy my weeks,
how will I enjoy my months?
My years?
My decades?
How will I enjoy my life?
Lorien of the future,
Lorien on your death bed,
I vow to you—
I will enjoy this life now.
I will enjoy my moments,
my hours and days and weeks
and months and years.
I will enjoy my decades.
I will enjoy this life.

Breathe and See

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Jaded, yet plugging along
at this thing called daily life.
I want so much to be understood
by someone who doesn’t charge me an hourly rate.
I’m tired of being tired,
tired of being grumpy,
tired of being overextended.
Every day I write what I’m grateful for,
I remember how blessed I am,
I give thanks.
And, I’m waiting for more.
I’m waiting for ease,
for connection,
for direction.
Maybe I shouldn’t wait,
but who has the energy
to leap up, go out, and
manifest a whole new life?
I’ll just breathe and see
if I can reclaim my sanity.

It Don’t

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We women are a special breed
she said
we can get through anything.
She was helping me change the address
on my license and scan the documents
proving my identity.
If you wake up
everything else is just a bonus.

I asked her to make me laugh
as she took the picture
for my new license
(my new lease on life).
She asked me to smile for the team.
I told her my ex was a fan
and since then I’ve been looking the other way,
but I’m glad to hear they’re doing well.
Girl she said shaking her head
C’mon now, it don’t have to be like that.
She was right. It don’t.

Mountains and Avalanches

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I was sifting through
mountains of papers
looking for something.
One of the mountains shifted,
sending an avalanche to the floor.
And then in the next second,
another avalanche.
And I said,
Okay, me too.
So I fell to the floor,
lay down on my back,
stared up at the track lighting
on my ceiling.
Here we all are, on the floor.
Now what?
I felt my body was tired.
I didn’t want to search anymore.
I knew that whatever it was,
either it would turn up,
or I would replace it.
So I went upstairs,
and I got in bed,
and had dreams
about mountains and avalanches.

A Single Mother’s Prayer

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Dear God,
Thank you for this day.
Thank you for waking me up again.
Thank you for giving me strength
to make it through,
even when I’m tired, sick,
and all I want to do is rest.
Thank you for helping me to be
the most loving mom I can be to my kids,
for tending to their needs joyfully, patiently,
and with gratitude that I was blessed with children
(even when sometimes I wish I weren’t!).
Thank you for cleansing my heart
of envy when I see husbands
taking care of their wives
with love in their eyes.
Help me to embrace my loneliness,
so that if it is your will one day,
I might celebrate partnership again.

Time to Choose

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It’s time to retire to a quieter place;
my body aches from the work I’ve done
and I need some time to recover.
My plan is to slow down, rest.
When I awaken
I’ll face the mess.
Bit by bit I’ll keep what matters
and let go everything else.
Possessions, relationships, thoughts, behaviors,
it’s time to look at all of it and choose.