Tag Archives: honesty

You’ve Got Some Digging To Do

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Really, dude? Trolling my blog? Really?
Why didn’t you care to read my words before?
Like when you said you loved me,
like when we shared a bed
and shared meals
and days and years together?
Why now?
All those years of putting my writing down,
minimizing my need for self-expression,
and NOW you are interested?
Go ahead then. I’m flattered.
You cannot shame me anymore.
Your tactics will not work.
When you left
I was devastated…
and I fell down, down, down.
I fell all the way down to the bottom,
and now I’m building up.
Breath by breath,
step by step,
day by day,
I’m getting stronger
and closer to discovering the real me.
Your blustery words cannot harm me.
Your storms and threats,
all that hot air cannot shake me—
my foundation built on rock
holds firm.
At some point,
the sands you’ve built on will shift.
The slights of hand,
the illusions,
everything you’ve used
to portray yourself
as something you are not
will fall away
and the truth will be revealed.
At that point I’ll lend you
my pick and my shovel,
’cause son, if you want a firm foundation like mine,
you’ve got some digging to do.

Only One Direction

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There’s a moment after hitting rock bottom
when you realize that you’re not dead.
Maybe, as you look around at where you are,
you wish you were dead,
but you’re still alive nonetheless.
What now?
Resistance will make you hurt worse.
Regret will keep you stuck in this place.
When you’ve stripped away everything
that you used as your former identity
and you find yourself, naked,
standing on rock,
it feels vulnerable, uncomfortable.
You look up…
and the light of day seems so far away.
The good news is,
you don’t have many decisions to make;
it’s very simple in this naked place
of bare, cold, hard, rock bottom.
There’s only one direction you can go—
up.

Relax Already

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This is the third time
I’ve attempted to write this poem.
It just isn’t coming out
as I expected.
I guess this means I’m human,
and I guess it means I’m alive.
Just wondering
when I can ever be satisfied
with myself as I am,
life as it is;
just wondering
when I can drop
the bs perfectionism bit,
and just relax already.

I Came Close

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I spent the day in deep listening,
self-care
laid heart and soul bare
before daring wayfarers
who walk this path with me.
I danced with the trees,
looked up to the sun
reached out to the water
felt down to the earth
breathed in the wind
and out my fears.
I transformed from closed and scared
to fluid and light body
loving song through the forest
at top of lungs fearlessly.
To whomever says heaven
isn’t on earth:
I have something to share…
Today I came close.

Ode To My Body

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Dear Body,
I love you.
I’m sorry for taking you for granted.
I know you’ve worked really hard
to keep me alive all these years.
I’m sorry for judging you as inadequate.
I love you.
I am so grateful for all of your sensations
and the wonderful way
all of your systems work together
to maintain radiant health.
I love how elegant you are,
how nimble, how graceful.
I love how you breathe,
how you walk,
how you climb and run and dance.
I love how you rest.
Dear Body,
forgive me for all those times
I didn’t understand
and blamed you for my illness.
I know you are doing the best you can.
You are brave and noble
and I’m glad you’re mine.

I Apologize (But Not Really)

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Dear Everyone,

I apologize for the tone of my last poem.
Actually, I don’t.
I have raging PMS
and the veil between 3D reality
and the spirit world is thinner
and everything I have been suppressing
in my act to be nice and please everyone
is now coming up of its own volition.
So really, I have no control over it.
And so, if you don’t like it,
you know exactly what you can do.

Love,
Lorien