Tag Archives: human being

I Must Be Human


Just when I thought
I had fallen as far as I could,
the ground opens up
and I start falling again.
Just when I thought
I felt as much joy,
peace, and fulfillment
as I humanly could,
my heart opens up
and reveals a deeper,
wider possibility for bliss.
Who I am, bouncing
from one extreme to the other
so quickly my head whirls?
I must be human.

Life Fully Lived


Living on the edge of my comfort zone,
seeing how many hang-ups I still have,
wanting to embody perfection of patience,
compassion, understanding, self-restraint,
being confronted with human reality…
I feel the disappointment when I fail
and wonder if I can do better the next time.
After so many years of strengthening the habit
of reacting with anger
what can I realistically expect from myself now?
My loved ones are the most ruthless
at pointing out how far I have yet to go
and the least likely
to celebrate how far I’ve already come.
So there is the added disappointment
of wanting to be seen and heard
and not being met with the understanding
I so deeply long for.
Perhaps I can have compassion for all of us,
for the challenge of existing in an apparently
connected universe
while simultaneously living in the isolation
of one’s own imagined world.
This is the plight we all must navigate
and the gift we must all unwrap
if we are ever to experience
the bliss of divine union,
the peace of life fully lived.

Observing the Perfection


After going and and going
and trying and trying
and wanting and wishing
and regretting and fixing
and pushing and pulling
negotiating and resisting
and persevering and persisting
achieving and believing
failing and wailing
delaying and replaying…
I’ve come to realize
that all I’ve been seeking
and all I’ve been wanting
is what I already have,
is who I already am.
And so I settle into
a quieter version of myself…
one who sits, listens,
waits and watches,
observing the perfection
of this unfolding,
ever evolving universe.



Trying to be good, do good
trying to get things done
trying to be patient, to be kind
trying to stay awake and open.
Trying to get “there”
trying to be here
trying to know myself,
to understand others
trying to forgive.
Trying to believe, to trust,
trying to let go
and flow with this endless river.
All of this trying, trying, trying
is so tiring, tiring, tiring.
I am not a human trying.
I am a human being.
Let me set down the burden
of such impossible expectations
and embrace the being
concealed by all the trying.
I wish I could say it is easy to do this–
but I would be lying.

Meditate First


Guilt and shame
Rage and frustration
Disappointment and impatience
Hopelessness and despair…
all before 9 am.
I should’ve awakened early
and meditated first.

It was my daughter’s first day of first grade.  My in-laws were preparing to leave.  The house was in chaos, and what I thought was an innocent request to help with the garbage was somehow interpreted as a tyrannical outburst which mortified and outraged my husband.

I think I need to develop the discipline to get up and meditate first before I speak to anyone–even when I’m tired and am seduced by the idea of meditating at some point mid-morning, after I’ve had my coffee and the number of humans in the house has been reduced to two.  When I sit first, I have a tendency to be more calm, more insightful, more patient, more aware, and this translates into better, smoother interactions with my family.

I’ve known this for a long time, but sometimes I flub up and can’t manage to get up before everyone else.  This is where I need to remind myself that I’m human, and sometimes life is messy.  I can offer myself a good dose of self-compassion and give myself a break for once.

I’ll try to wake up earlier tomorrow and see what happens.

Something is Enough


I set out to write something witty and brilliant
and the words elude me.
My brain is tired and protests
any probing into its depths
to yank out the perfect word
in some memory bank tucked far away
beneath the piles of laundry in my bedroom
and dishes stacked in the sink.
Ah yes, I remember now,
I don’t have to be good.
I am a human being,
and this is enough.
With the pressure off,
I don’t need to write something witty and brilliant,
I don’t even need to write something passable.
I just need to to write something.
And something is enough.

Parenting Since Time Immemorial


being kind and patient
becomes increasingly difficult as the day wears on
and self-criticism becomes easier.
The importance of taking deep breaths is forgotten
and resentment remembered.
The positivity has flown out the window
and some monster lurks
shrieking right inside my brain.
The tired child within me
resists being responsible for so much
when all she wants is to rest.
giving you opportunities
to become a better, wiser,
more patient, more strong,
more loving, more courageous,
more responsible person,
since time immemorial…

The Off Switch


So much to be done always.
So much to learn,
to improve upon,
to understand,
to create, invent, replicate.
So much.
But we have these finite bodies,
and they need rest.
My faithful little machine
tells me that it has worked hard enough for today.
I’m going to hit the off switch.
Whatever I have left undone tonight
will be waiting for me tomorrow.
I need to remember that I am not a human doing–
I am a human being.

I Am a Human, Being


So much of the frantic feeling
that there is so much to be done
comes from the hidden belief
that I am undone,
that I have to finish myself,
make myself complete.
So much of the anxiety
arising from thinking
that there are so many
problems to be solved
stems from unconsciously believing
that I am a problem,
and I need to be solved.
I look into the mirror.
I see myself.
I am not a problem to be solved,
I am a human, being.
I am not some unfinished thing,
waiting for blessed completion–
I am complete, just as I am–
I am a being, a person, a human,
a soul, alive and breathing.
I relax into this moment.
I am me. This is enough.

One Breath Away


Just a breath beyond
everything I think I need to do
in order to be worthy of love
(yours and mine)
there is ME
the human being.
Sometimes I find her
when I sit still enough
and breathe deeply
and find a way to stay alert
even when I’m feeling drowsy
she comes to me and says
Here I am.
Always here.
Spending so much time
trying to be the good person
I think the world needs me to be
turns me into a human doing
and I lose track of the being in me
and it all seems so crazy, so frenzied.
But there is solace
in awakening to this
sober realization
that I’ve been caught
in the damnation
of doing, doing, doing–
turning and seeing
that my home,
my sanctuary,
my sanity,
is still here
always here
always where I am.
that being is ME,
just one breath away.