Tag Archives: hunger

A Deeper Hunger

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There is a deeper hunger I’m noticing.
In the absence of what I thought I wanted
(marriage, stable home, busy social life, material wealth)
I’ve run through scenarios in my mind…
So what if I met someone else?
So what if I made enough money to live in a mansion?
So what if I were stunningly successful at business?
So what if I were to become famous?

I’ve pictured each of these coming true,
and I realized that none of these would satisfy me.
This is nothing new.
Anyone can go back into the ancient texts
and find exactly the same insight
shared by men and women of long ago.
So this led me to the question
What WOULD satisfy me?
And a feeling emerges…
something about connection, meaning and purpose.
Something about knowing that the world
is a better place for my having passed through it,
something about leaving this wonderful legacy
of humor, generosity and love
for my children’s children’s children.
I recognize that out of all the appetites I have,
this deeper hunger is the one I should
pay attention to the most.

NaPoWriMo 2018 Day 3: What’s On the Menu

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I’m getting a late start to the NaPoWriMo prompts.  You could say I’ve been bit distracted of late, you know, what with going through a messy divorce and my husband finally deciding to leave the house and everything. But, better late than never as they say.  Today’s prompt is to write a list poem with names we’ve made up. Some examples given were band names, romance novel titles, and ideas for TV cop dramas.  I’m going to try out names for unnameable mixtures of emotions that I’ve had to eat and eat and eat because that’s been my reality for nine months.  Also, that I haven’t been able to eat much real food for months and that my weight has plummeted makes the food theme even more apropos…

What’s On the Menu

Hopeless-weariness-grief sandwich
Guilt shame pain blame regret soup with caramelized judgment
Saving self saving grace saving kids special sauce
Resistance depression darkness divorcee’s doubt pudding
Extramarital affair discovery baked with ragey cagey compote
Humor relief lightness super crunchy trail mix
Wanting more wanting out always wanting fizzy punch
Revelation with a twist of salvation salad accompanied by a side of tangy WTF?
Blanket idealism ice cream and
unapologetically innocent optimism pie for dessert
Self-help book junkie dharma debt digestif—scorches and soothes simultaneously
and for the heartburn…
Rollercoaster searching spicy spiral spiritual medicine
in the form of pleasure pills, tranquility tea, and intuition injections.
Baby we ain’t got no brakes,
so buckle up and tie your napkin around your neck.
Who’s hungry?

You’ll Never Be Hungry

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Staying present with all of it,
not just with what we
think we want
or think we need
or think we like
but all of it–
this is true courage.
Develop a taste for this moment.
It is rich and varied
never the same.
Don’t try to fill your mouth
with illusion,
the wistful sweetness of the past,
the mouth-watering promise of tomorrow.
Taste this moment now,
take a big bite.
You’ll never be hungry again.