Tag Archives: inner voice

Continued From Yesterday

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I want to hear the Inner Voice say,
And now here is where you pick yourself up,
dust yourself off, and enjoy financial stability
offering your gifts to the world 
in a life-affirming way that positively impacts
you and at least the next seven generations.
I want to hear the Voice say,
And here is where your heart is healed
and you attract a partner into your life
who loves you from head to toe and wants to co-evolve
with you as an offering to all beings.
I want to hear the Voice say,
And now this is where you move into your dream home
in the mountain forest of the Pacific Northwest
and enjoy hours and hours of gazing at the mountains
From the comfort of your couch, while knitting and sipping tea.
And this too:
Now comes the part where you travel the world
Offering your teachings to beings who will benefit from them,
Exposing your children to different languages and cultures,
Broadening their horizons and showing them how to expand
their awareness into the realm of infinite possibility.
How long will it take for the voice to say this is in truth?
Because right now it’s saying to me,
Yes, this is all nice, but until it happens,
you’re deluding yourself,
and you know how you treat yourself
when you’re operating from delusion…

Not Entertained

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Here’s the part where you get depressed.
And now here is where you lash out at your kids.
And this is where you automatically feel worthless.
And now, in reaction, you will worry about your future.
I love you anyway.

For some reason,
this Inner Voice has stepped up this past week.
I don’t know why…
was it binge watching recordings of Kyle Cease’s
event Evolving Out Loud?
At any rate,
this Inner Voice
is consistently calling me out
on all of my mental states,
reminding me that I am not those states,
nor the observer of those states,
but the Space that holds
both the states and the observer of the states.
So there is now some detachment
from the ever fluctuating states,
like watching a really bad TV show
where the same characters
always do all the same things.
And I am not entertained.

Voices

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The voice stayed with me
when the clock struck midnight;
it followed me into the new year.
It was quiet for a few hours,
letting me take in the new year…
But now it is saying, already,
You should be doing more.
You need to make phone calls,
you need to organize your house,
you need to earn more,
you need to plan for the future.
You could end up on the street.
You could lose everything.
Hurry up! No time to lose!

Now I want to know,
whose voice is this?
Of course I want to be responsible,
of course I want to take action,
of course I want to do the right thing.
But I don’t need a tyrant telling me what to do.
I don’t need a frightened, abused inmate
pushing me to be afraid too.
I’m ready for a new voice,
one that says,
Breathe. You’re doing just fine.
Let’s try this now.
You are not alone;
I’ll be with you every step of the way.
Everything is working out just fine.
You are safe.
You can trust me.
I got you.

I’m searching for that voice.
I’m wanting to see what my life will be like
when I listen to it and act from it.
May the voice of kindness rise up within me,
and may my ears and heart and mind
be open to receive its wisdom.

In Love With Life

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Ah, so I asked about Love,
and Spirit brought me
multiple teachers today…
passages in the book
The Game of Life and How to Play It,
lines in the documentary
entitled Human,
the sight of an honest face,
the warm autumn blue sky day,
birds circling overhead
surfing invisible currents
in graceful spirals,
wings expanded to fullest potential.
I remembered to breathe.
I remembered that Love is always here
but sometimes I forget.
I remembered to laugh,
to cry,
to make, to create,
to move,
to envision,
to seek the truth again and again,
to believe in forgiveness
to believe in love.
I delight to see myself as a child,
innocent in every way,
ready to learn something new every day,
in love with life.

 

 

🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈

Now, Spirit, teach me about abundance

Watch What Happens

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What would happen
if you could really trust
the unfolding of your life?
What if you could trust
the wisdom that is
already there within you?
Please understand,
this isn’t about
sitting back and doing nothing
and calling this trust…
But it is about tuning in
to the guidance deep within you
and letting that inner knowing
show you the way.
This deep knowing
has an understanding
that extends far beyond
the linear mindset
of our day to day minds.
This knowing can guide you
in your thoughts, words and actions
to meet the perfect unfolding
of this moment
as you show up
with your highest potential.
Spend a little time
in silence each day;
get to know the source
of your deep knowing.
Then watch what happens
as you listen to that wise voice;
watch what happens
as you trust
in the perfect unfolding
of this one precious life
that is yours.

There I Go Trying Too Hard Again

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It doesn’t take much
and the self-doubt creeps in again
Yesterday I attended a yoga practice for myself
a very rare occurrence as I teach ten times per week
and the studio owner
who is also the head teacher
who is also my favorite teacher
was there
practicing  on her mat right beside me
the loudest voice in my head was the one saying
you’re not good enough
and you haven’t been practicing
and it shows
and you look foolish

what is up with that?
why is it so easy to doubt?
Yes, there was a sense of relief
to be freed of the duties of wife and mother and teacher,
for just a while freed of all demands others place on me
but the demands in my own head now had a chance
to yell louder, louder than my own children
could ever yell.
Distracting to the point that I almost couldn’t enjoy my practice.
Almost.
I managed to enjoy it anyway.

And now this blog…
I told myself
I promised myself
I convinced myself
that I wouldn’t pay any mind to stats
how many followers, how many likes,
how many comments, how many visits
I believed that I could manage
to make this blogging experience
an easygoing side project
a way to explore myself creatively
a way to be free creatively
without the usual pressure I put on myself
to be good, to perform, to be successful.
I told myself that I could even remain
somewhat anonymous
and indifferent to the opinions of others.
I lied.

I do care, and now I see myself trying.
There I go trying too hard again,
because some voice within
a very old voice
a scared voice
from some ancestor centuries ago
that never quite had his/her needs met
that voice is saying,
try harder, you need to make this work
your life depends on it.
you need to be loved, appreciated,
wanted, celebrated
you need to be venerated
your virtues extolled
you need to be worshipped
or else this is all meaningless
and you are worth nothing.

What?
Why is this voice so all or nothing?
Why can’t I be mediocre?
Please, let me be mediocre,
because I certainly can’t be perfect,
the standards are way too high.
And I can’t be a total failure either,
because here I sit, still wondering,
exploring, having not given up
in spite of all of the fear.

I want to not try so hard.
I want to rest, and relax,
accept, be at peace.
I want to celebrate what I am able to do
acknowledge where I have room for improvement,
and do some work there, without shame or guilt,
incubate these young creative impulses and then
let them be born
like a butterfly emerging from a chrysalis
or a baby bird from an egg,
flying when the time is right,
wings floating in space,
effortless and free.