Tag Archives: innocence

Beloved Fragrance

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I’ve been searching for something out there,
sometimes catching a whiff of its fragrance
in the wind.
It would render me melancholy
to sense it but experience it
so far away,
when my heart longed for this thing
I could not know.
Sometimes it was a rush of cold air
into my nostrils
as I stepped from my grandmother’s house
into the winter night
and I’d search for the star
in the dark blue sky
that told me the light
was returning soon.
For the longest time
I feared the magic and suppressed it
much to my heart’s dismay.
The whole world seemed cold and dark
and I was trapped in a prison
of my own making.
Spirit came to rattle me out of my cage
and throw me into the light of day.
Such a fool I was,
resisting a project of God’s hand.
How can I stop the ocean from surging?
How can I move the sun in the sky?
How can I make the moon glow brightly?
How can I give the gift of new life?
I only experience these things
because consciousness pours through me.
Who made this consciousness,
the perceiver and the perceived?
My body speaks clearly.
Its language is believed.
I trust the longing in me now.
The magic in me swells alive within.
I open the door to the cold and dark everywhere
and catch its beloved fragrance on the wind.

It Was Worth It!

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Wide awake in the middle of the night,
head buzzing with the latest fears, doubts and anxieties,
I decided to dive deep into the ocean of myself.
I discovered stories I had told about myself
since childhood.
I saw the ways that I had unconsciously trained
my husband to perpetuate the stories,
and how desperately I was seeking
love, attention and approval
even in the midst of my beliefs of unworthiness.
Wide awake in the middle of the night
I experienced a profound reckoning,
a chance, a choice to stop telling those stories
once and for all,
to witness and know and hold my goodness
in the vast space of my tender heart—
and to see the innocence in all of us.
Five hours passed as I underwent this reckoning.
The next morning I was sleep deprived
and most likely looked like a zombie…
but awakening to the truth at the core of myself
was worth it!

Real Relationship

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I find my anger is getting out of hand,
hot, explosive, uncontrollable, painful.
I stop and look inside.
Under the anger is grief.
Under the grief is fear,
the belief that something is wrong with me.
Behind the fear
there is a soft, tender spot,
a vulnerability,
the truth of my innocence.
If I can stay in touch with this innocence in me,
then I can see and honor the innocence in others.
And then real relationship is possible.

Do You Really Know?

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Where are you?
Do you really know?
Do you really want to know?
Do you really need to know?
Who are you?
Do you really know?
Do you really want to know?
Do you really need to know?
Why are you here?
Do you really know?
Do you really want to know?
Do you really need to know?
What is happiness really?
Do you really know?
Do you really want to know?
Do you really need to know?
Who is this self that looks out into the world?
Do you really know?
Do you really want to know?
Do you really need to know?
What is peace?
Do you really know?
Do you really want to know?
Do you really need to know?
Could you allow yourself not to know?

The Eyes of Innocence

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Ours is not the task of fixing the entire world all at once, but of stretching out to mend the part of the world that is within our reach.                               —Clarissa Pinkola Estes

Most of what enters our immediate experience
is there for our pure enjoyment–
the beautiful colors, the sounds,
the quality of the light, the air,
the water we drink, the food we eat,
the company we keep.
The deeper we look, the more we see
what we have to be grateful for.
When you look out at the world,
if it looks like everything is broken,
look again.
Perhaps it is your perception that needs fixing.
We all come around
in our own time, at our own pace,
in our own way.
You cannot plant a seed
and expect it to sprout one hour later,
and bear fruit the next day–
that is pure folly.
But you can plant the seed
and tend to it,
create the best possible conditions
for the seed to sprout, grow, bloom,
and give of itself completely.
So it is with each human being,
so it is with this world.
Just start today
choosing to see the perfection of life
for five whole minutes.
Prepared to be amazed
as you look out on the world
with the eyes of innocence once again.

Innocent Creativity

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Creativity without a goal–
undefined
unrestrained
without pressure
without judgment
without hesitation
without expectation…
the freedom of this.
To be a child again
able to easily tap into
this endless fount
of inspiration
without rumination.
Watching my daughter
I remember my own childhood
moments of creative bliss.
So grateful to have her here
reminding me
of what still can be
when I can get out of my way
and simply enjoy this day
of alive, innocent creativity.

Remember Your Wonder Child

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But then sometimes
we get so caught up
in the rational, logical, mathematical
world of adults
that life loses its magic.

We get tunnel vision
as we strive for the success
that the outer world pressures us to achieve.

Inside something is languishing.
That something is the child,
innocent, pure, vibrant, creative,
bounding with life,
a zest for new experiences.

The child,
who gets grumpy when she is tired,
or acts out when he is told
he needs to behave a certain way
so that the adults around him
won’t feel so anxious.

That child knows what she needs,
and knows how to make those needs known.
That child can take an ordinary moment
and transform it into something wonderful,
something fresh, surprising, alive.

When life loses its magic, it’s a sign
that we have lost the child.
At times like those,
it would serve us
to allow the child to come out and play.

Maybe, first,
that child needs to know it is safe.
So the adult in you
holds the child for a moment,
rocking it, speaking in soothing tones,

It’s okay, I am here for you.
Your needs are okay with me.
I am so glad you are here,
and I will do everything I can to help you.
You are allowed to explore,
to make mistakes, to fall…
I am here to help you up again,
to encourage you to try again.
I am here to help you understand
your own unique way of learning,
and to support you as you take
steps toward realizing your greatness.

Don’t disregard the child.
Give it space to be who it is,
Love it unconditionally,
and when the fear and anxiety melt away,
when the grieving of the unmet needs has passed,

Then the child can shine in all of its magnificence.
This is a beautiful part of your mind indeed.
This is the closest you will ever come to knowing God.

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I felt a little uneasy after publishing last night’s post, afraid that it might appear that I was brushing aside that which is childlike in us and extolling the virtues of a seasoned adult’s wisdom.  The child mind I was writing about last night is the one who is anxious, afraid, who doesn’t want to try because it is hurting for some reason or another.  Because I didn’t get that nuance across to my satisfaction, I felt a need to respond to my post in defense of that which is wonderful about the inner child.  Words can be so clumsy, and wielding them well enough to bring others close to understanding our inner workings takes great skill.  Although I still feel clumsy about my own word wielding, I hope that a part of you will understand a part of me and perhaps resonate with what is written here.  The wonder child is, after all, a universal archetype–one that we all can relate to–so maybe all of our inner children will come out to play at this invitation, our sparks of creativity will flame together, and we’ll raise the vibration of the whole universe with our enthusiasm.  Blessed be.