Just letting this moment be enough
and exploring the idea of contentment,
realizing there are no missing pieces—
finally, the freedom she had been seeking
revealed itself eaily and naturally,
as if it had always been there.
Then she realized that it really
HAD always been there.
The moment she chose
to pay more attention to her inner experience
than to the judgments of others
she recognized the sweet truth of it all.
I shared my story tonight,
was witnessed by my recovery family
as I told the tale of the last
two and a half years of my life.
There were moments where
I thought I might not make it through,
so overcome was I by emotion.
But I breathed, I paced myself,
I spoke through the emotions,
I let my family see me.
Afterwards, these beloveds gave me hugs.
they told me they were proud of me,
of how far I had come.
They told me they were inspired by my story,
my willingness to be vulnerable,
to speak my truth, to be seen so deeply.
Life is a mystery;
it can only be understood looking backwards.
As I look back on the last two years,
I can see that the worst day of my life
was the greatest gift—
of freedom, of authenticity,
of finding my true power,
and expressing it out in this world.
I made many, many trips between my old house and my new house today
Loading the Prius with box after box of books,
then fabric, then toys.
The most important things are over there now…
Meditation cushion, singing bowl,
guitar, journal, pens, crystals…
But here we are still, at our old place,
Because the biggest things are here.
Then it occurs to me…actually,
The most important things are not things,
But my beautiful children,
who daily remind me what life is all about.
I’m grateful for the opportunity to be with them tonight…
Knowing that in the in-between place,
We still have each other.
Starting the year gently,
Awoke contemplating the privilege
of breathing, being alive today.
asked for the Divine Plan
to be made clear,
opened my heart to
a deeper listening.
But it was the connection with my children,
looking into their bright eyes
and smiling faces,
that touched me most of all.
We walked out into the sunshine
and I remembered
that my purpose isn’t about me,
but something much greater.
This year, may the fullness of life
pour through me,
and may I live in service of
the One who brought me here.
May I honor that One
by expressing the gifts I was born with,
and may I smooth the passage
of those coming after me,
that they may journey in peace and beauty.
And then it hit me,
My needs have always been met.
This is the truth.
How would I stand here before you
if my needs had not been met?
I am alive,
so obviously some key needs were met.
Any thought attempting to prove the contrary
is a sad story…and do I want to keep this story?
Or is it time for a new interpretation,
some blessedly new content?
It’s time to practice contentedness,
just see what’s working.
You will have plenty of reasons
to shout Hallelujah
from dawn until dusk
each and every day.
Life is good, after all.
I will not hide.
This light shines for all to see.
I will not try to live within
the box you built for me;
it cannot contain me.
Everyday I am growing;
I am sorry you cannot keep up.
But don’t worry,
this light will still be shining
by the time
you are no longer afraid
to open your eyes
and really see.
without beginning or end.
Pure consciousness arising.
A heart as big as the universe.
Understanding that extends
beyond the world of the senses.
The gifts of meditation.