Tag Archives: integration

Take A Break to Keep Calm, Appreciate, Create

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Worrying doesn’t help,
so don’t do it.
A break from the routine is a chance
to appreciate the minute daily occurrences
that we take for granted.
That which appeared insignificant
in an unconscious repetition
suddenly becomes profoundly meaningful.
The mundane becomes sacred
in the light of such deep appreciation.
We find we yearn for what we had,
so many little acts of connection
and familiar places we can no longer access
because of unforeseen changes
and uncertain futures.
When we aren’t involved in an
unconscious routine
the space of uncertainty lets loose a discomfort
for the one who needs the calm familiar,
the safe, the known.
My friends, be not afraid.
This is an awakening.
How you experience this is entirely up to you.
Take a deep breath with me, now,
and breathe again.
Now is the time to cultivate appreciation.
The molecules of gratitude for
everything you love
coursing through your being
bring tidings of light and health
to every cell of your body.
Drink in what you love, now
through smiling deep breaths
of YES YES YES to life, YES!
Do not let fear pickle your cells
in darkness and despair.
Let me feel your shining smile
through the ethers our friendship now inhabits.
Stand in your one little spot of earth
and declare that you are an anchor
for peace, for gratitude,
for love.
My friends, be not afraid.
This is a sacred time.
Let the visions that were trampled
under the daily stampede of traffic
now float up in a whisper an inch
behind your eyelids.
Listen to this whisper.
It promises the joy you have yearned for
in the deepest center of your soul.
Now is the time to create, to express;
in the space of the unknown
you have so much room to choose
how this goes.
Sweethearts, this…is…a…VACATION!
Celebrate! Love! Sing! Dance!
Enjoy the beloveds you
have the privilege to share space with!
Show us your art!
Sing us your songs!
Let us hear your laugh!
Let us see your funny faces!
Share with us a video
of something beautifully boring!
Let us send little resonances
along the web that connects us
to tickle and delight and uplift
what the outer world cannot touch.

To sum up:

Take a break
to keep calm,
appreciate
and create!

My Work

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I love how it doesn’t matter how much
I’ve attempted to stay present but failed miserably…
I love that no matter how many times my mind
hijacked my consciousness with thoughts of the past
or thoughts of the future,
the present always holds me.
I always am here.
I always am now.
My work is to know this deeply,
integrating awareness of the present moment
through bodily sensations,
through breath,
through the intention to be of service.
I see the perfection of my journey,
how all experiences led me to this moment.
All I can feel now…
…is gratitude.

Trust The Unfolding

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My mind gets caught
in the most current challenge.
Around and around in a circle it goes,
trying to figure it all out.
But what if it isn’t meant to be figured out?
What if it’s meant to be lived?
What if it were enough to
just make it through this day,
with a body, mind, heart and spirit
all seeking integration?
What if I could breathe deeply,
relax into this moment,
and trust the unfolding
of my experience,
allowing the answers to be revealed
when the time is right?

Looking Back…And Forward

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Looking back
on a year of many ups and downs…
Finally, resolution is in sight.
This time last year,
you will still living in this house.
This time last year,
you had just begun a relationship with her.
This time last year,
you were denying it.
This time last year,
I was losing weight,
feeling anxious,
angry at your infidelity,
your dishonesty, your dishonor.
This time last year
I held you responsible for my happiness,
and I had fallen to the depths of despair.
But this time next year,
I see myself happier, healthier than ever before.
This time next year,
I will be standing on my own two feet financially.
Maybe this time next year,
I’ll have a wonderful man in my life,
a man who wants to love me
the way I deserve to be loved.
I won’t make the same mistakes with him
that I made with you.
In the midst of the nightmare
we shared
I learned
that my happiness is within me,
and when I really find it,
no one can take it away,
not even you.
Now it’s time for integration of what I’ve learned,
and space to dream of what is to come.
I’m in a more peaceful place now,
at home in my body, in my heart, in my mind.
I can say “Thank you”—sincerely—
for the lessons you taught me,
and I can wish you well.
May you find wholeness in 2019,
may your heart’s desires be granted.
May you know healing on all levels.
May you be free.

Healing Ceremony

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I sat in a healing ceremony last night.
The familiar sensation
of wanting to escape,
wanting to get away,
began to take over.
Instead of struggling with it
I breathed, sat up taller,
got curious.
Madre came to me and spoke.
What are you trying to escape?
There is nothing to escape.
You are trying to escape you.
Don’t try to get away from yourself,
breathe YOU.
Be YOU.

The fear passed,
and I felt deep gratitude
for this opportunity
to heal another story,
to take one step closer
to integration.

Last Night in Arizona (For Now)

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My girlfriends have left
and here I am in Phoenix,
in a nice room I found
on Airbnb (thank you!)
I leave tomorrow.
I miss my kids
and can’t wait to see them,
yet I feel anxious
about coming back
and seeing the man
who was my husband for eight years.
This grieving process makes no sense.
This heart feels healed and wounded
all at once.
I went to the desert for answers,
I shared my insights,
I meditated, laughed and cried.
My heart burst open.
I could see that everything will be fine.
But how to maintain that feeling
in a home that no longer feels like home?
I wonder how I can
integrate myself
back into my daily routine,
how I will look at him,
speak to him
knowing what I know now.
One day at a time I suppose…
it’s the only way this works
in the end.

Make Room for a Glorious Feast

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As we near the end of one chapter
And look to the beginning of another,

I think of integration…

What it means to have truly lived
and absorbed and digested
and felt full
of all of these experiences
so that
moving forward
I can leave them
where I had them
like I would leave the dishes
of a delightful meal
on the table where I ate

And have space
in my belly,
in my  heart,
in my mind
NOW
for the new experiences
that await me.

Clear the table
of the old crumbs,
the bones picked dry
the glasses half drunk

And let’s make room for a glorious feast.