Tag Archives: intimacy

Maybe I’m Not Ready


This week,
as I read books about sacred intimacy
between the divine masculine and
the divine feminine,
I realize how I resent being unpartnered.
I realize how I never thought
I’d be celibate for two years
at this stage of my life.
I think about my natural urges
as a grown woman,
my need for touch, intimacy, connection,
my desire to share myself with a sensitive, loving partner.
I think about how easy it would be
to create a profile on Tinder
and just hook up with someone.
that is not who I am.
Maybe in my 20’s
casual sex seemed like an okay thing to do,
but not anymore.
In order to experience
what I truly desire:
a profoundly deep connection
and the joy of truly being seen,
heard, held and cherished
within a safe intimate relationship,
I have a lot of work to do.
First on myself
and on the tendencies
that led me into a marriage
with a man who rejected
who I was at my deepest core,
and second,
I have to start somewhere
and maybe actually go on a few dates.
Hi, I’m Lorien.
I’m recently divorced,
I have two young children,
and I’m still healing
from the tremendous
pain I experienced
when my ex-husband abandoned me.

Any takers?
I’m not sure I would want me
with that kind of endorsement.
So maybe I’m not ready after all.

So HEY! Just curious. Is there anyone out there who went through a godawful, brutal divorce, healed from it, and managed to go on and meet someone with whom you’re enjoying a safe and healthy relationship? Anyone with kids from a previous marriage who managed to meet someone new and engage in a better, healthier relationship than the one you had with your children’s other parent? I’m all ears. I’d love to hear what worked for you in your healing process and any insights you’d offer to someone like me, who isn’t all that excited at the prospect of dating, but who longs for a safe, intimate partnership with someone sane and healthy—and who has no idea where to begin…

They Listen


And then I discovered
It’s all in my mind
And the world he sees—
it’s all in his mind too.
And we have as many worlds
as we have brains
to think about them.
And where do these worlds converge?
On some courageous shore
encircling a vast ocean of intimacy
intrepid voyagers
enquire of one another.
And they listen to the answers.

All There Is


Could it be
you simply cannot see
the whole picture?
Could it be
that you are getting caught
in mental stories?
Before you fly off the handle
try to find a safe place to land.
Very often
what we most fear
is what we most deeply need
to learn.
The mechanisms we use
to cover our true feelings
only serve to prolong the agony
of imagined loneliness.
Set down your burdens
for just one moment
and see how truly loved you are.
In that loving place
awaken to the connectedness
of all beings, you included.
Love is all there is.

True Union


When I can see myself in you
and when you can see yourself in me
it is in that space of togetherness
that the illusion of separation melts away

from this place of seeing and knowing
the disjointed stories of expectations
resentment, obligation
cease to exist.

in this place
there is true union.

Sisters Three, Peacefully


Take a breath.

Ah, sweet peace and amazement.
My two sisters are here
and we haven’t squabbled once,
a record
even in our adult years.

What has changed?
the sibling rivalry still present
but in much more subtle ways,
looking for a constant
in the midst of change.

Looking for sameness
among the differences,
maturing in our love somehow,
learning how to live for one another
how to give to one another.

that when we say goodbye
and continue on our journeys
the closeness and the caring we have found
this time around
will stay with us
wherever we are.


Normally my twin sister and I are at each other’s throats by about day two.  None such thing has happened this time around, and tomorrow marks one week that she and my nephew have been with us.  They leave very early Saturday morning to head back home to Hawaii.  With just a little over twenty four hours left together, a part of me waits for the other shoe to drop.  With just a little over twenty four hours left together, a part of me longs for a peaceful farewell–for once in our adult years.
I think we’ll be fine, knock on wood, cross fingers, another deep breath, a prayer…