Tag Archives: journey

Ready for the Journey

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I did it.
I made it.
I survived.
I dropped my kids off with their dad,
hugged them tightly
and trusted it was safe to let them go.
I went to therapy.
I got myself some noodles for dinner.
Back home
I took care of myself.
Got my house in order.
Chose to pack lightly.

Now I’m ready for the journey.

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I decided to take a break from blogging and any other daily activities that I can let go for ten days.  I need to see who I am outside of my routine and what can arise in the space I create when I let go of my habitual modes of being. Wish me luck!

I’ll check in when I get back home at the end of this month. Best wishes everyone. Deep breaths.

 

 

The Return

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I come home
not sure what home is.
I leave strangers
who feel more like family
than my blood relatives.
We return to our daily lives
and I wonder
Will I remember
what I saw here?
The weight of my routine
will come crashing back down;
do I have the strength to stand
for the truth that held me
in the farthest reaches
of my mind, my universe?
Please god,
help me remember.
I want my journey to mean something.
I want to remember.

Back Home: What Lies Ahead

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I’m back in MD
after a long day of travel.
I’ll be honest…
It’s a let down
coming back to the cold
and the chaos of home
after the warmth
and the simplicity
of the desert.
I thought I did so much
work on my retreat,
the work of awakening,
of becoming more aware.
It turns out
the the greatest work
lies ahead.

Last Night in Arizona (For Now)

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My girlfriends have left
and here I am in Phoenix,
in a nice room I found
on Airbnb (thank you!)
I leave tomorrow.
I miss my kids
and can’t wait to see them,
yet I feel anxious
about coming back
and seeing the man
who was my husband for eight years.
This grieving process makes no sense.
This heart feels healed and wounded
all at once.
I went to the desert for answers,
I shared my insights,
I meditated, laughed and cried.
My heart burst open.
I could see that everything will be fine.
But how to maintain that feeling
in a home that no longer feels like home?
I wonder how I can
integrate myself
back into my daily routine,
how I will look at him,
speak to him
knowing what I know now.
One day at a time I suppose…
it’s the only way this works
in the end.

Isn’t That Better?

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You might go to the ends of the earth
and still never find the answer.
You could ask the wisest teacher
and still not know who you are.
Stop all this frantic searching
outside of yourself.
The answers are within.
Get still, close your eyes,
be quiet.
Listen.
There now, isn’t that better?

The Meaning You Bring

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Searching for meaning,
none appears,
and so it must be made.
This journey of chaos
from birth until death
in a universe so infinitely large
that our precious home
is little more than a dust mote–
if we don’t make meaning of this,
we might die of sheer despair.
So make meaning.
Make meaning of everything you do
from the first light of dawn
until your eyelids grow heavy with sleep.
Every thought, word and action,
create meaning.
Know yourself,
strive to understand
the meaning that others have found.
Happiness is within your reach,
and it is here now,
in everything this life is,
in the meaning you bring to it.