Tag Archives: kindness

To Sprint a Marathon

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When you think you should’ve done better,
be gentle; allow yourself to try again.
Yes, be honest with yourself
and make clear choices about the next time,
but still, be gentle.
Would you admonish a toddler
for not knowing how to sprint a marathon?

The Same Kindness

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I want to stop trying so hard to be good.
I want to just touch on
my own inherent goodness
and allow it to be enough
for this moment.
I can see our innocence.
I can see how much we try.
I can see that he is doing his best
and so am I.
Could I forgive him
for having this affair?
Could I forgive his mistress
for sleeping with a married man
who has two children and a wife
that he left to be with her?
Could I see her innocence too?
If I can allow others to be who they are
and do what they do
and love them anyway,
there is hope I can afford myself
the same kindness.

Because of You

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I made it through the long dark night
because of you.
You who read my words
and answered my questions,
who tested my assertions
and suggested space
for different conclusions.
I’m still here
because of your presence,
a great gift of light
revealing the truth
that had been obscured
during the long dark night.
Never question your gifts;
never doubt your talents.
You rose to the occasion,
provided a pause of sanity
when my mind was clouded
with every possible lie,
you gave my light room
to breathe and expand,
and I could believe in myself again.
I made it through the long dark night
because of you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank You.

You’re Worth It

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Just a little reminder about self-care
for those of you who might need it…
Friend, take care of your precious self.
You do not need to ask permission.
There is no reason to believe
that getting your needs met is selfish.
Listen closely:
Any act of loving self-care 
is an act of service to humanity.
Don’t believe me?
Who will serve better—
She who is exhausted
or she who is well-rested?
Who will have the energy
to reach his deepest potential—
He who is starving
or he who is nourished?
It’s so simple, isn’t it?
If you want to have love to give,
love yourself first and foremost,
and let this love spill over
into the minds and hearts
of everyone around you.
Yes, you can give yourself
the rest, the nourishment,
the beauty, the caring,
the gentleness that you need.
You’re worth it!

Surely There is a Way

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Surely there is a way to relax
in the midst of these life challenges.
Surely there is a way to soften
so that I don’t exhaust myself
trying so hard all of the time.
Surely there is a way to be gentler,
more accepting of the human that I am.
Surely there is a way to open my heart
to my own suffering,
to meet it tenderly, with warmth and kindness.
I suppose this is the path I must take:
I know surely that there is a way,
and now I only need to find it.

Giving is Living

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And now it’s time to give.
(And it’s always time to give.)
What? you say, Give? Me?
I am going through a tough time
and I don’t have so much at the moment.
There’s nothing really I can spare.
I don’t have much. I’m sorry.
If you truly believe you have nothing to give
then you are very poor indeed.
And if you know
that it is a privilege to give whatever you can,
then you take your place
among the wealthiest in the world.
It is not about the material wealth,
bequeathing huge sums
for buildings that will bear your illustrious name.
No, giving can happen in secret…
in fact, that might be the best kind of giving of all.
Don’t believe me?
You don’t have to take my word for it.
Go do something nice for someone without
expecting anything in return,
and do it without their knowledge.
Pay close attention to how you feel
after such an act.
You’ll be privy to one of the greatest,
most obvious, and most overlooked
secrets passed down through all generations
of humanity:

Giving is living.

Doorways to Self-Compassion

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Three doorways to self-compassion:

1) mindfulness
2) shared humanity
3 )self-kindness

When dealing with difficult emotions,
let yourself observe them,
see if you can name them,
sense them in your body.
This is mindfulness–
simply observing what is arising this moment
without judgment or analysis.
If you can then realize
that you are not alone,
that in this very moment
there are many others experiencing
the same kinds of difficult emotions as you,
then you have tuned into shared humanity,
this collective experience of uncertainty,
of ups and downs
joys and sorrows
that make up this life.
This experience of shared humanity
helps you to put your difficult emotions into perspective,
and you are no longer swallowed whole by them,
but you have some space to simply be with them.
Finally, you begin some gentle, deliberate,
and kind
self-soothing.
You might use a term of endearment
as you speak to yourself:
Poor darling, this is so hard for you right now!
You might put your hands over your heart,
or wrap your arms around yourself in a big hug.
You might speak reassuring words to yourself:
I know that you are hurting right now,
and I want you to know that I am here for you.
Let me know what you need to feel better,
and I will help you in any way that I can.
When you can practice
this consciously directed
concern and care for yourself
this is known as self-kindness.
Three doorways to self-compassion,
use any one you can.
Look for the door that is closest to you.
Step in.
Once you’re in, you’re in.
And in that place of compassion for yourself,
you realize the boundless nature of your heart.
You realize that you can hold the whole world
in this infinitely spacious tender heart.
You become a force of lovingkindness in this world,
this weary world that needs the love you have to give.