Tag Archives: kindness

Nobody’s Perfect

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Nobody’s perfect.
We hear this all the time,
but what does it mean?
Perfection does not exist–
it is an ideal, something
that many of us strive to attain.
But then there is the reality, the pain
of unconsciously trying to
be the best
to never make mistakes,
but then a mistake is made,
which is inevitable,
because to be human
is to be fallible–
and we beat ourselves up
for not being perfect.
A friend tries to console us
saying Nobody’s perfect.
Somehow we don’t feel better.
Because we tell ourselves
we could’ve done better.
Where did we learn this,
and how can we shift
from self-flagellation
to compassionate understanding
of ourselves
and our current life conditions?
Let’s give ourselves
the same kindness, care, and concern
that we would offer a good friend.
Let us reassure ourselves
that our mistakes are our greatest teachers
and we all make them.
Let us remember
Nobody’s perfect
and nobody has to try to be perfect
and delight in that fact!

These People in Your Life

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These people in your life–
do they exist just to make you happy?
Are you helping them
to feel good about yourself?
Do you need them to act a certain way
in order to feel good about them,
about yourself?
No, you say?
Well then,
stop having expectations for them,
nurturing the expectations
like you’d nurture a rare and precious plant
from the bitter winter wind.
Let the wind blow.
Let it freeze your expectations,
that they may crumble into fine dust.
Ah, there now.
Now you can see these people as they are.
No you can see yourself as you are.

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I just read a passage by Pema Chodron in which she wrote “Don’t have expectations, just be kind.”  It was some serious food for thought.  How often do I as mother, wife, teacher, neighbor, carry expectations regarding the choices of others, and how often do I become disappointed when those expectations are not met to the letter? Please don’t misunderstand–I’m not saying that I should drop any idea of holding people accountable for their behaviors.  I just want to give myself and them the freedom to be as we all are, and to respect and honor their life process, and–whatever arises–to be kind.

Ready for Connection

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Start with yourself 
This is the only place
You are the only one

Look in

You don’t need a mirror

glued to a wall

to see yourself.

Look at the mirror inside.

Begin with a sense

of unconditional kindness

and genuine compassion

for the tender-hearted one in you

who sometimes hurts,

who sometimes feels great joy.

Begin with yourself.

Feel how you would never

abandon yourself,

never give up.

Feel this in the depths of your being.

Yes, now you’re ready 

to show up for someone else,

to be kind, to be compassionate.

Now you are ready 

for authentic connection.

Be More Kind to the Self Who Waits

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For those of you
who live at the mercy
of your inner critic–
Have you ever stopped
to take a good look
at the things you say to yourself
and the thoughts you believe?
Would you ever permit yourself
to say such things to someone else?
What if, before accepting as true
one of those largely unconscious
self-deprecating beliefs
you asked yourself,
Would I say that to someone I love?
Would I say that to my child?
My beloved pet?
My mentor?
My neighbor?

My friend?
If the answer is No
why, dear one,
why would you ever say such a thing to yourself?
Let’s clean up our self-talk.
Let’s be more kind
to the self who waits for our awakening.

The Only Thing to Do

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Which do you choose–
to awaken to your warrior nature,
or to live and die in fear?

The warrior you become
is not one who kills,
but one who heals,
who chooses to face
the world’s suffering
and help however possible.

The greatest work
is not the outward acts of
kindness
and compassion
although these are signs
that you have progressed along your path–

the greatest work is done
as you turn inwards,
face what is blocking
the experience of your true nature
and choose to awaken,
because it is the only thing to do.

Let it Flow Through You Like Water

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It’s okay.
Just let yourself feel what you’re feeling.
Take a deep breath,
let it flow through you like water.
This will pass,
just breathe.
You don’t need to be perfect.
You just need to be.
You don’t need to understand
why or how,
just listen to inhalation and exhalation.
Let your mind be rocked, cradled
by the waves of your breath.
It’s okay, just feel what you’re feeling.
Take a deep breath.
Let it all flow through you like water.

Reaching for the Peace

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I’m so tired I could cry
Yes, that tired.
After a night of interrupted sleep–
husband, girl child, cat
all conspiring to deprive me of sleep
(or so it felt, at 3:47, 4:30, and 5:44 this morning)
I awoke feeling like I had had no sleep at all.

Ah, confound it all.
I was determined to make it through this day
with a calm, patient, and loving demeanor.
I decided that I wouldn’t let my utter exhaustion
get in the way of being a loving mother
a responsible wife
a supportive daughter

And by jove, I succeeded.
Yes, I was calm, patient and loving
with everyone
even myself

But as the evening wore on,
my patience was wearing thin.
My kids were resisting going to sleep
and I could feel that old rage feeling
coming alive in me.

I held back,
I was still patient, loving, kind.
Even as I told them I needed rest now,
and please get in bed
(for the twentieth time)
Yes, I managed to remain loving.
And kind.
But now I am so tired I could cry.

It sure is a lot of work
reaching for the peace
that lies hidden deep within.