Tag Archives: lack

Disenfranchised

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I found out today
that even though I could afford it,
I don’t qualify for the apartment
I wanted to lease
in order to keep my kids in the same school zone…
because (according to them) my income is too low.
I live in one of the richest countries on earth,
and I am being forced further into poverty.
So I reached out to my children’s father,
asking him to be a guarantor,
with the understanding that he would provide
no further support than what is court-ordered
in our marital settlement agreement.
BIG MISTAKE.
This just opened the door
to more narcissistic abuse…
criticism, shaming, belittling,
blaming.
I shared my experience
in the relationships group
of my meditation app,
and the moderator took it down,
saying that I needed to keep with the
theme of relationships
and not focus so much on finances.
CAN YOU SEPARATE RELATIONSHIPS AND FINANCES?
No, I don’t think you can,
because life costs money,
and money is one of the most
stressful aspects of any relationship.
Just a few thougths from a poor
single mother yoga teacher
who will most likely have to give up
yoga teaching because
there simply isn’t enough value placed
on helping people awaken to their true nature,
breathe, relax and feel joy in the moment…
It’s much more important to
drive the cogs of the machine.
Thanks for listening.

According to My Checking Account

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$-25.38 in my checking account
Hey mom, may I borrow $100
until I get paid tomorrow?
I’m sorry to have to ask
but I’ve been out of
my thyroid meds for five days and…

$74.62 in my checking account,
driving to the pharmacy
reminding myself
This too will pass.
$34.63 in my checking accout,
driving home,
reassuring myself
I have everything I need
to turn my life around.

Louise Hay said
Money is energy
and an exchange of resources.
How much I have
depends on how much
I believe I deserve.

If that’s true,
something in me thinks
I don’t deserve very much.
According to my checking account
I’m not worth much at all…
Back home
I feel like curling into a ball,
shrinking away from the world.
I don’t.
I force myself to eat lunch,
and then I sit down
to do some EFT Tapping.
Amid tears and terror,
I affirm that I always have enough money
to live my most authentic life.
Now, God, what now?