Tag Archives: learning

Looking Back…And Forward

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Looking back
on a year of many ups and downs…
Finally, resolution is in sight.
This time last year,
you will still living in this house.
This time last year,
you had just begun a relationship with her.
This time last year,
you were denying it.
This time last year,
I was losing weight,
feeling anxious,
angry at your infidelity,
your dishonesty, your dishonor.
This time last year
I held you responsible for my happiness,
and I had fallen to the depths of despair.
But this time next year,
I see myself happier, healthier than ever before.
This time next year,
I will be standing on my own two feet financially.
Maybe this time next year,
I’ll have a wonderful man in my life,
a man who wants to love me
the way I deserve to be loved.
I won’t make the same mistakes with him
that I made with you.
In the midst of the nightmare
we shared
I learned
that my happiness is within me,
and when I really find it,
no one can take it away,
not even you.
Now it’s time for integration of what I’ve learned,
and space to dream of what is to come.
I’m in a more peaceful place now,
at home in my body, in my heart, in my mind.
I can say “Thank you”—sincerely—
for the lessons you taught me,
and I can wish you well.
May you find wholeness in 2019,
may your heart’s desires be granted.
May you know healing on all levels.
May you be free.

The Asking

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Who am I to dream,
to believe these dreams could be fulfilled?
Who am I to envision,
to see myself serving in a bigger way?
Who am I to imagine,
to fantasize that the Divine wants me
just as much as I want it?
I have no idea who I am,
but I know that I am not
who I once thought I was.
God bless this journey
toward the unknowable destiny
of my dreams, visions and heart.
Bless the questions that I ask,
that they may swell into
wide open doorways of possibility.
Let me surrender into this process
of asking again and again,
Who am I
until someday
I can understand
it’s the asking—
not the knowing—
that calls life
back home to life.

The Same?

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I ask my students to be strong,
to keep their hearts open,
to keep trying even when it’s hard—
can I do the same?
I ask them to breathe deeply,
to not just think about breathing,
but really breathe
can I do the same?
I instruct them in finding a more perfect alignment,
to reach for their strength, their will, their discipline—
can I do the same?
I ask them to relax, let go, surrender,
feel grateful for the nourishment of the earth—
can I do the same?
I ask them for a gentle smile,
a sense of pleasure, of enjoyment,
and especially to love their bodies—
can I do the same?
I ask them to think about leadership,
especially self-leadership,
summoning their courage,
getting out of their comfort bubble,
stepping into their fuller potential,
and providing an example
for others who might look to them—
can I do the same?
I look at this moment as a chance for
co-creation, co-evolution,
communication, collaboration
with anyone who is willing to reach for the light—
will you do the same?

To You

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Grow dark, all Hallow’s Eve
Send the spirits of the dearly departed
to gather near to us
that we may hear
their whispered wise words.
The veil is thin between the worlds.
Listen deeply.
They are speaking to you.

An Abundant Day

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I asked about abundance,
and I awoke certain of who I am.
I showed up at the school,
had a meeting with the principal
regarding my daughter.
My husband was there too,
and it felt good to be a team again,
in a co-parenting sort of way.
Back home I read an article about pleasure
and how to live a more pleasurable life.
I followed the guidance in the article
and chose to live the day in pleasure;
I decided to feel really, really good.
Afterwards I took a nap.
I woke up, had lunch,
ate a good meal.
I saw my therapist,
talked about turning a corner.
I got my kids off the bus
and we went for
an autumnal walk in the forest.
So much beauty everywhere!
We had dinner out
and the food arrived quickly;
It felt good to be nourished,
to be the recipient of so much good.
Back home my kids are reading,
and I’m writing about a beautiful day.
I see abundance as existing everywhere,
all the time.
It’s an inner state,
a mindset of plenty,
a feeling of gratitude
warming the heart.
Today I walked in wealth,
and tonight I go to sleep in thanks.

 

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨
Now, Spirit, I want to know about doing good work.

Full Of Possibility

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Growing, expanding.
Knowing myself better.
Diving deeper, exploring.
Looking up, looking out,
trusting.
Reading, reading, reading,
exposing myself to new ideas,
a wealth of information,
developing a treasure trove within,
treasure no one can see and yet
a treasure that is more real than any other.
The medicine man sings
Invisible es mi camino,
and I sing along.
Taking a deep breath,
watching my mind
desperately attempt to understand
through the lens of the past,
and patiently, firmly
holding up and looking through a new lens—
a wide open future full of possibility.

Wide Open Arms

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Sometimes I resent having to do so much work
to wake up, to improve, to become better…
Like everyone else, I just want to be happy, healthy,
have a good life, be at peace.
Then it occurs to me
that the work will enable me to create these things
and claim them as mine.
If the good life were handed to me on a silver platter,
could I accept it?
Would I see myself as worthy?
I’m so grateful for the infinitely generous present moment.
No matter how many times my mind goes back to the past
or rushes headlong into the future,
this beautiful present moment
always waits for me right here, right now,
with wide open arms.