Tag Archives: letting go

A Prayer for Forgiveness

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When will forgiveness come?
When will I be released?
I cry out to God
I don’t want to be in pain anymore.
I don’t want this anger,
this sadness.
What do I need to do to change this?
I suppose I don’t know anything at all.
I thought the choice to forgive
and the understanding
that my freedom relies on it
would be enough
to bring about the desired result—
the freedom of forgiving, letting go.
But nearly twelve moons have passed
since he torpedoed the life we shared
and I’m tired of living in a war zone.
Home doesn’t feel like home.
He left in April
and it’s more peaceful since he’s been gone,
but the war moved inside me
and it’s holding on.
I don’t want to be at war with myself.
Please God, show me how to forgive,
how to believe,
how to love and trust again.
This tender, vulnerable heart
wants to mend.
Please remove the grief.
Let me see with clear eyes again.
Let me forgive.
Let me forgive.
Help me forgive.

This Rawness

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Digging deeper…
Wanting more out of life
out of myself
out of each day.
Wanting understanding,
connection, revelation,
salvation.
Wanting the sun to shine
and the rain to fall
and the stars to shine
and the moon to rise
whenever they damn well please.
And as I allow the weather to be itself
and as I allow the heavenly bodies
to be themselves,
Can I allow me to be myself?
I am a part of this earth.
Could I learn how to love this self
that is me
by loving the planet that is her…more?
I feel crazy lonely with my questions.
I still miss my husband.
I still miss his body, breathing
next to mine.
This rawness.
Is this what it means to be human?

Beyond Your Story

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Forgiveness leads to peace.
You can give yourself the gift of peace.
Search in your mind
for those against whom
you hold grievances.
Ask yourself
Do I want to carry this burden any longer?
Really listen to the answers that emerge
from the depths of your truest self.
Your truest self is peace.
Grievances hide this self from you.
Forgive completely;
set this self free from the prison you made.
There is so much beauty in the world
beyond your story.

The Same Kindness

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I want to stop trying so hard to be good.
I want to just touch on
my own inherent goodness
and allow it to be enough
for this moment.
I can see our innocence.
I can see how much we try.
I can see that he is doing his best
and so am I.
Could I forgive him
for having this affair?
Could I forgive his mistress
for sleeping with a married man
who has two children and a wife
that he left to be with her?
Could I see her innocence too?
If I can allow others to be who they are
and do what they do
and love them anyway,
there is hope I can afford myself
the same kindness.

Free and Light and Clear

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I was ready for it
and so it came…
forgiveness.
I realized
I didn’t want to suffer any longer.
I wanted him to be happy.
I wanted to heal.
I wanted my children to feel safe
with both of us.
I wanted to release my anger.
I wanted to embrace trust,
to trust in love,
to love what is.
Once the decision was made,
there was no turning back.
Grace swept over me
and through me,
above and below me,
all around me,
in front of me,
behind me,
inside,
outside,
past and future,
and I found myself
here in this moment
free and light and clear.

A Few Realizations

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I realized that
the kids and I are happier without him.
I realized that I’m glad to see him go
and be with another.
I realized I’m grateful to her;
she helped to set me free.
I’m grateful to him; I forgive him.
and the whole Universe
is behind me
and with me
and ahead of me
and below me
and above me
and all around me
and inside me.
I realized that
ALL IS WELL.