Tag Archives: letting go

Lighten Up

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I moved a bunch of stuff in my house today
to revitalize the energy and give the space
a pick me up.

Translation:
I moved a bunch of clutter
down to the basement today
because I couldn’t stand my living room anymore.

Truth:
Wow. I have so much stuff!
Wow. I feel ashamed of how much stuff I have!
And somehow, I need to be compassionate,
because that works better than attacking myself.
Gee. Life gets complicated sometimes.
All I wanted to do was declutter my living room,
and I end up contemplating ancestral trauma,
the struggle for survival,
and the belief that we need to hold on to everything,
because we might need something later and feel regret if it’s not there.
Takeaway:
The deeper I go, the more significant everything becomes.
Maybe I just need to lighten up!

This One Moment

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Part of navigating this whole time of uncertainty
has been learning how to let go of expectations
and go with the flow. I know, I know…
I’m not saying anything new or earth shattering,
but it’s new for me to let go of control
and just accept this moment as it is.
I am not complacent, don’t get me wrongโ€”
I still have preferences, ideas, desires, wishesโ€”
but the difference is, I’m practicing welcoming
what is here in this moment, and choosing
how to respond from a place that is deeper
than what my ego thinks it wants or deserves.
I’m glad to know that this is a practice,
because I’ve been trying so long to be perfect,
and it’s just exhausting, so exhausting,
trying to get everything right.
Now, I’ll just breathe. I’ll take a slow deep breath,
and I’ll give thanks. I’ll give thanks for this moment,
this one moment of my life.

NaPoWriMo 2020 Day 17

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Oh boy. My state of Maryland has finally gotten around to telling its citizens that we must wear masks whenever we go out. What took us so long? I have to admit I was in denial about the whole thing, but now it’s undeniable, and I don’t have a mask. Yet. Luckily, I sew. I put a post on FB letting people know I can make masks if they need, and a bunch of people responded. It feels good to have something to do that is helpful for other people, and masks are an easy project, so it will be a meditative experience making 30 masks.

Back to the regularly scheduled programming, the prompt over at NaPoWriMo invited us to write about forgotten technology. Hmmmmmmmmm.



๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ฝ๐Ÿ’พ๐Ÿ“ท๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ฝ๐Ÿ’พ๐Ÿ“ท๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ฝ๐Ÿ’พ๐Ÿ“ท๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ฝ๐Ÿ’พ๐Ÿ“ท๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ฝ๐Ÿ’พ๐Ÿ“ท๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ฝ๐Ÿ’พ๐Ÿ“ท๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ฝ๐Ÿ’พ๐Ÿ“ท๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ฝ๐Ÿ’พ๐Ÿ“ท

Remembering the Cassette Tape

I remember listening to you in my ’88 Honda Accord.
I remember having to flip you over when you were done playing one side.
I remember playing you so much that one day you stopped making intelligible sound.
I remember using a pencil to wind your film back in you when it got pulled out.
I remember making mix tapes for my friends and especially my twin sister.
I remember my WalkMan knock off, and being thrilled to walk around with you.
Do I miss you?
Maybe I miss the time when you were in my life.
Back then, there were no kids, no ex, no Pandemic.
Of course, back then there were no SmartPhones or Netflix either.
Maybe technology teaches me how to let go
as the old and obselete give rise to the new and relevant.
I don’t even know where you went!
For what it’s worth, cassette tape,
we really did have some good times, didn’t we?

Just Breathe

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Just breathe.
Just relax.
Look around you.
This moment.
Don’t try to figure it all out.
The moment is always changing,
and the understanding you have now
is different from the one you will have tomorrow.
It is enough to just be who you are.
It is enough to just breathe.
This moment.
Look around you.
Just relax.
Just breathe.

Take A Break to Keep Calm, Appreciate, Create

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Worrying doesn’t help,
so don’t do it.
A break from the routine is a chance
to appreciate the minute daily occurrences
that we take for granted.
That which appeared insignificant
in an unconscious repetition
suddenly becomes profoundly meaningful.
The mundane becomes sacred
in the light of such deep appreciation.
We find we yearn for what we had,
so many little acts of connection
and familiar places we can no longer access
because of unforeseen changes
and uncertain futures.
When we aren’t involved in an
unconscious routine
the space of uncertainty lets loose a discomfort
for the one who needs the calm familiar,
the safe, the known.
My friends, be not afraid.
This is an awakening.
How you experience this is entirely up to you.
Take a deep breath with me, now,
and breathe again.
Now is the time to cultivate appreciation.
The molecules of gratitude for
everything you love
coursing through your being
bring tidings of light and health
to every cell of your body.
Drink in what you love, now
through smiling deep breaths
of YES YES YES to life, YES!
Do not let fear pickle your cells
in darkness and despair.
Let me feel your shining smile
through the ethers our friendship now inhabits.
Stand in your one little spot of earth
and declare that you are an anchor
for peace, for gratitude,
for love.
My friends, be not afraid.
This is a sacred time.
Let the visions that were trampled
under the daily stampede of traffic
now float up in a whisper an inch
behind your eyelids.
Listen to this whisper.
It promises the joy you have yearned for
in the deepest center of your soul.
Now is the time to create, to express;
in the space of the unknown
you have so much room to choose
how this goes.
Sweethearts, this…is…a…VACATION!
Celebrate! Love! Sing! Dance!
Enjoy the beloveds you
have the privilege to share space with!
Show us your art!
Sing us your songs!
Let us hear your laugh!
Let us see your funny faces!
Share with us a video
of something beautifully boring!
Let us send little resonances
along the web that connects us
to tickle and delight and uplift
what the outer world cannot touch.

To sum up:

Take a break
to keep calm,
appreciate
and create!

Gratitude Day 38 of 48: Prayer

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There is so much wisdom in surrender,
knowing that I don’t know,
opening to guidance,
keeping the faith that there’s a reason,
relaxing deeper into trust.
When I could finally let go
of the life I thought I had,
the life I felt entitled to,
I finally had the space to welcome
my real life, as it is, right now.
Then the real healing could begin.
I had to let go of my marriage
and I had to let go of my anger
toward my children’s father
for abandoning the marriage.
I had to let go of control
(I had none to begin with).
When everything fell apart
and there was nowhere to go
but through,
I learned to get clear and sober
and fill my mind with prayer.
I learned to turn everything over
to a power greater than myself.
I turned over my thoughts,
words and actions,
my hopes, dreams and fears,
my beliefs, perceptions,
my ideas of success and failure.
Somehow, grace pulled me through
the darkest nights of my soul;
somehow I survived the changes
that took time…
I am grateful for prayers,
sacred words spoken
that bolster my courage
and soothe my bodymind.
I am grateful that my whole life
has become a prayer.

Gratitude, Day 27 of 48: Surrender

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Let go or be dragged…

When he decided our marriage was over,
I didn’t know how to let go.
When he collected his family, colleagues, clients and friends
and drew a line in the sand,
I didn’t know how to let go.
When he began seeing another woman and spending nights out,
I didn’t know how to let go.
When he introduced our children to the other woman,
I didn’t know how to let go.
When our house went into foreclosure,
I didn’t know how to let go.
And I was dragged. I was dragged. I was dragged.
And it hurt, how it hurt, how it hurt.
But I survived. I began to pray to God
Show me how to let go.
Show me how to surrender gracefully.

Slowly but surely,
Life revealed to me what remained
when what was no longer serving me was dragged away.
I’m finding more stable ground,
and learning how to love what is here, now.
I’m discovering that I’m happier by myself,
healthier living in alignment with my deeper self,
more confident speaking with my true voice,
grateful for the simple things, the simple grace of being.
I am grateful for this sweet surrender to life.

All Is Well

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She stopped. Sat down.
Breathed. Ventured within.
As her shoulders relaxed away from her ears
She could hear the same old fears
rattling around her brain,
clamoring for attention.
She dropped her awareness deeper,
all the way down into her belly.
There she felt the ancient tension
of the ones who struggled for survival,
the ones who toiled and strained
and numbed their pain
with the fruit of the vine
again and again.
Then she prayed,
calling in the Angels,
The Teachers, The Wise Ones,
The Guides, The Ascended Masters,
The Well Ancestors:
Thank you for being present.
Thank you for holding me
in your Matrix of Light.
Thank you for rewiring my neural circuitry.
Thank you for restructuring my DNA.

Thank you for helping me to
see what needs to be seen,
do what needs to be done,
hear what needs to be heard,
forgive what needs to be forgiven,
heal what needs to be healed…

Breath by breath,
forward and backward,
across all time and all space,
eventually
she sits complete within herself
in the center of this Universal Mandala
feeling and knowing
ALL IS WELL.

Musing on Forgiveness

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Forgiveness cannot be forced.
When my family fell apart
I tried to rush to forgiveness,
thinking that it would speed up
the healing process.
But I was just engaging in
spiritual bypassingโ€”
using my spirituality
to circumvent the messy trenches
of deep grief and traumatic loss.
I prayed to God to show me the way,
hoping I could fly over
the dark valley and avoid
what lurked there in the shadows
of my deepest, darkest memories.
I read books and listened to speakers,
I attended meetings,
I thought I knew what I was doing,
but I was really attempting
to avoid the inevitable.
Finally I discovered
that what I really needed
was to allow myself to feel.
I had to go through the grieving process.
I had to face the loss of the life I knew,
I had to take each day
one at a time.
Some days the pain was so intense
I didn’t think I could live through it.
People would tell me
It won’t be like this forever;
I didn’t believe them.
Over time, as I remained clear
and focused on my goal
to find a place for me and my kids,
I noticed the fog was lifting;
I felt more like myself
with each passing day.
Looking back I see
that it was my effort to heal
that blocked the healing.
It was my belief
that things should be a certain way
that kept me from embracing things
as they were.
And now I’m still working on forgiveness,
but at least I have the sense now
to allow that grace to come, naturally,
when the time is right
and my heart is ripe
for such sweetness…

Keep Praying

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I’ve been turning my will and my life over
to a power greater than myself…
At first I was just dipping my toe into these waters,
foreign waters, ones I was told to deny and mistrust.
But it struck me one day that those who were telling me
that a Higher Power didn’t exist weren’t happy people!
Rule of Happiness #1:
Don’t take advice from unhappy people.
So I decided to try something different,
and admit I knew nothing,
and I had no control,
and things had become unmanageable…
and I began to pray…
I turn this day over to you.
I turn my life over to you.
Guide me, let me surrender to your will,
show me how to surrender gracefully,
and let me do your good work this day.

I’ve been praying like this for months.
You know what is starting to happen?
Peace.
I think I’ll keep praying.