Tag Archives: love

Relaxes and Sighs

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My posts have been spotty of late,
and my critical mind wants to lament
and wail about my lack of discipline.
Then the practical adult in me recounts
what I’ve been doing with my days and nights
and counters the critic with
Now just where do you think we’d find the time
to write when we’re not even getting enough time to sleep?

The critic then makes it a bad thing
to change my routine, to have a different schedule.
It’s addicted to feelings of shame, anxiety, and unworthiness.
It’s saying I need to go back to the way things were.
But things aren’t the way they were.
Not even a little.
Things have changed.
I am glad about that.
I am a part of all things,
even though my ego would tell me I am separate.
I have changed too.
I am glad about that.
I don’t need to feel guilty for changing,
for adopting a different routine,
for using my time in different ways.
Therefore, I am glad to write when I can,
and not a minute before.
(Takes a deep breath and lies down on the floor,
looks out the window at a puffy, white cloud floating
in the blue sky, relaxes and sighs.)

Love More Open

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A part of my healing journey
has been to loosen up a little
on some of my routines.
I have been accused of being rigid,
too attached to my routines,
and each time I felt the urge
to defend my practices
if not out loud,
then inwardly, to myself.
As I began to peer inside a little more,
I could see how my routines were sometimes fillers,
excuses not to be completely present,
because I could check out
as I attended to them…
and so this need to defend my practices
came from anxiety that they might not be serving me,
and the pain of feeling like my time spent doing them
was a complete waste.
Then again…
Is there such a thing?
Could it be that my practices served me then,
but I eventually outgrew them,
and now they no longer serve me
the way they did before?
Could I drop the shame around change?
Don’t we learn by making mistakes?
Can’t I ease up about being perfect, being right,
and instead, can I welcome this moment
with my heart that yearns to love more open?

Radiating Harmony

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I’ve been practicing this Wim Hof breathing video
every day for almost a week…
It’s eaten into my music time on my cushion,
but now I’m breathing more consciouslyβ€”
and maybe when my breath is strong enough,
I will breathe consciously as I play my music.
I have been preparing for this moment for so long:
Where I feel totally free and at ease,
allowing myself to create authentically
from my deepest center,
letting the love of life, of presence
flow from me, radiating harmony into the world.

Quality Time

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We trekked into the forest today,
my son, my daughter and I,
and I was amazed at how
our outing provided so much
of what my heart was yearning for:
First, to be with my two most favorite people.
Second, to spend time in the green cathedral.
Third, to move slowly, with the wind, breathing.
Fourth, to open my eyes to what Spirit is seeing.
And finally, to feel free in space and time,
soaking in the present moment, grateful,
So grateful.

What I Heard in the Forest

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I went to pray
in the green cathedral
of the forest today.
I breathed,
and my heart was open.
I sat, surrounded
by the symphony of life,
birdsong, wind,
rock, moss, ferns, earth,
water, trees…
I felt so blessed
to soak in this beauty,
this perfection of life,
of being.
I asked for the truth
to be revealed to me.
This is what I heard:

You are the one and only instrument of creation.
You are consciousness, and I love you.
I love all the ways you express yourself,
the myriad forms you assume to create
the tapestry of existence!
I celebrate you today,
exactly as you are,
pure consciousness,
light of being.

Drift Into Dreamland

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He must’ve been tired,
because my eight year old said
Can we go to bed?
Can you tuck us in?

And I thought
Yes please go to bed.
Who’ll tuck me in?

And then I got up from where
we were snuggled in reading.
I shivered into my robe,
then tucked my daughter in
after brushing her hair
and scratching her back
and answering some questions.
I tucked my son in,
raining kisses on his forehead,
his cheeks;
he got annoyed.
I remembered that nothing lasts forever,
not even mother’s kisses
that give us angels’ wings
right before we drift into dreamland.

Such A Beautiful Place

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If I can drop a little deeper
below the surface of the mind
that is always problem-solving
and strategizing,
I arrive at a place where all is well.
Don’t get me wrong,
the world is still the world,
and there is still a Pandemic happening,
there are still bills to be paid
and an ex-husband to negotiate with
and a house to clean
and meals to prepare
and laundry to be done.
There is still a heart that yearns open
for a beautiful partner to share love with.
There is still the feeling of vulnerability
that comes with such deep sharing,
and the fear that I will never be met
the way I long to be met.
There is still the exhaustion one feels
being the only adult in the house
with two very active children
who still don’t know
how to pick up after themselves.
Yes, all of these things still exist,
as I am a human woman
living on this earth.
But if I can drop a little deeper
below the surface of the mind
that is always problem-solving
and strategizing,
I arrive at a place where all is well.
It is such a beautiful place.
And this is why I practice.

NaPoWriMo 2020 Day 18

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Today’s prompt over at NaPoWriMo invites us to write a poem about life’s simple pleasures. There are many. How could I choose just one? Or even a hundred? It’s almost midnight so I’ll contain myself and mention a few of my simple pleasures.

πŸ¦‹πŸŒžπŸŒˆπŸŒ³πŸƒπŸŒ²πŸŒ±πŸŒ·πŸ€πŸ¦‹πŸŒžπŸŒˆπŸŒ³πŸƒπŸŒ²πŸŒ±πŸŒ·πŸ€πŸ¦‹πŸŒžπŸŒˆπŸŒ³πŸƒπŸŒ²πŸŒ±πŸŒ·πŸ€

The sound of bubbles colliding with the sides of my glass
as I sip my sparkling water
Stepping outside and feeling fresh, cool wind on my face
The sun piercing through the clouds after days of rain
The scent of a fresh pot of green tea
Feeling my fingertips growing calloused from playing guitar
The sound of my children’s laughter
The taste of a really crisp apple
Sitting on my cushion in the morning and looking inwards
Watching blossoms fluttering from the trees like snowflakes
Lying down to sleep after an exhausting day
Taking a nap in the middle of the day
Watching ink spill out of my pen and onto the page
The feel of yarn slipping through my fingers
as I knit another row
The sound of my sewing machine.
The smell of steam rising off fabric while I’m ironing
Hitting several green lights in a row
Stepping into the hot shower when I feel cold
Love welling up as I tuck my kids in at night.
Walking
Breathing
Smiling
Just. Being. Alive.

NaPoWriMo 2020 Day 11

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Today’s prompt over at NaPoWriMo talked about the language of flowers and linked to a Victorian flower meaning archive. Although it was interesting finding out the meaning that the Victorians ascribed to flowers, I feel more moved to write a poem about what flowers mean to me…

πŸŒ·πŸŒΈπŸ’πŸŒΏπŸŒ±πŸŒΌπŸŒ»πŸŒΎπŸŒΉπŸŒΊπŸƒπŸ€πŸŒ·πŸŒΈπŸ’πŸŒΏπŸŒ±πŸŒΌπŸŒ»πŸŒΎπŸŒΉπŸŒΊπŸƒπŸ€πŸŒ·πŸŒΈπŸ’πŸŒΏπŸŒ±πŸŒΌπŸŒ»πŸŒΎπŸŒΉπŸŒΊ

Flowers

Flowers. I have always loved them,
since before I knew what love was.
I just knew they were beautiful, delightful,
alluring, magical, mysterious,
silent jewels receiving the life
they had opened into.
As a child I spent my days outside
and one of my clearest memories
is of a carpet of clover blossoms
and dandelions in my parents’ yard,
glimmering in the bright sun.
I remember picking wildflowers in college
as I hiked the Appalachian trail
and drying them to decorate my dorm room.
I remember buying myself a gorgeous,
lush, big, bright bouquet of roses, lilies
and other cheerful beauties
the first Valentine’s Day after my children’s father
decided his heart was elsewhere.
And just this week my children collected
many spring blossoms to decorate the house;
we had tiny vases and bigger ones
of wildflowers, maple blossoms, flowering cherry,
and maybe a couple of blooms from the neighbors’ yards.
Today I’m on edge because my kids are arguing.
I’d like to become like a flowerβ€”
Still, silent, letting the light open me
to my fullest expression of beauty,
my only purpose in life…

Take A Break to Keep Calm, Appreciate, Create

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Worrying doesn’t help,
so don’t do it.
A break from the routine is a chance
to appreciate the minute daily occurrences
that we take for granted.
That which appeared insignificant
in an unconscious repetition
suddenly becomes profoundly meaningful.
The mundane becomes sacred
in the light of such deep appreciation.
We find we yearn for what we had,
so many little acts of connection
and familiar places we can no longer access
because of unforeseen changes
and uncertain futures.
When we aren’t involved in an
unconscious routine
the space of uncertainty lets loose a discomfort
for the one who needs the calm familiar,
the safe, the known.
My friends, be not afraid.
This is an awakening.
How you experience this is entirely up to you.
Take a deep breath with me, now,
and breathe again.
Now is the time to cultivate appreciation.
The molecules of gratitude for
everything you love
coursing through your being
bring tidings of light and health
to every cell of your body.
Drink in what you love, now
through smiling deep breaths
of YES YES YES to life, YES!
Do not let fear pickle your cells
in darkness and despair.
Let me feel your shining smile
through the ethers our friendship now inhabits.
Stand in your one little spot of earth
and declare that you are an anchor
for peace, for gratitude,
for love.
My friends, be not afraid.
This is a sacred time.
Let the visions that were trampled
under the daily stampede of traffic
now float up in a whisper an inch
behind your eyelids.
Listen to this whisper.
It promises the joy you have yearned for
in the deepest center of your soul.
Now is the time to create, to express;
in the space of the unknown
you have so much room to choose
how this goes.
Sweethearts, this…is…a…VACATION!
Celebrate! Love! Sing! Dance!
Enjoy the beloveds you
have the privilege to share space with!
Show us your art!
Sing us your songs!
Let us hear your laugh!
Let us see your funny faces!
Share with us a video
of something beautifully boring!
Let us send little resonances
along the web that connects us
to tickle and delight and uplift
what the outer world cannot touch.

To sum up:

Take a break
to keep calm,
appreciate
and create!