Something that’s been stumping me
as I’ve considered intimacy
from the depths of prolonged celibacy:
Why do those I ignore want me?
Yet once captured and opened
and giving of my entirety,
why am I suddenly no longer
treated like a precious commodity?
No longer should I be so absorbed
in asking the significance of
Who does or doesn’t do the hunting—
It isn’t me they truly seek…
They want the wanting.
Training my mind to be content.
Not easy, because my previous programming
was to always search for what was wrong.
Now I look around, and I see faint glimmers
of what it means to truly love life, just as it is.
Great Spirit, let me love life, just as it is.
I surrender what is, into the loving fire of transformation, the light of which illuminates the present and manifests the future, in the highest creative expression of unconditional love.—Alana Fairchild, from the Sacred Rebels oracle deck guidebook, pp 98-99
They say there is a jewel in the lotus,
and if it can root down in the mud
and grow up toward the light
eventually it will break through the surface of the water
and blossom open.
They say the light pouring forth
from the jewel in the center of the lotus
is brighter than the brightest sun
and all who behold this radiance
May we awaken to our present conditions
that the flower of our awakening
may blossom open in radiance
and may the jewel
at the center of our consciousness
shine brightly for all beings to behold.
Who waits patiently
for you to finally wake up
that you were the one
you were searching for all along?
Who reminds you to breathe, when,
in the midst of daily effort
you’ve taken on some old struggle
that isn’t yours to endure?
Who waits for you
through all the years of your life
and at the end of it all
stands with open arms
to welcome you back home?
Your True Self,
The only reality,
The consciousness that pervades all…
No matter what, I’m learning.
I’m learning that beyond duality
there’s a gorgeous realm of seeing
without the labels
of right or wrong
good or bad
male or female.
We could also call it
the realm of being
or the realm of experiencing.
It’s where the mind
that fixates on the past
or projects into the future
doesn’t hold the same sway,
where the living, breathing moment
holds us and relaxes us
to the point that we can open to it and welcome it
like we would an old friend or lover
who knows all there is to know about us
and loves us anyway.
Thank you for this day.
Thank you for waking me up again.
Thank you for giving me strength
to make it through,
even when I’m tired, sick,
and all I want to do is rest.
Thank you for helping me to be
the most loving mom I can be to my kids,
for tending to their needs joyfully, patiently,
and with gratitude that I was blessed with children
(even when sometimes I wish I weren’t!).
Thank you for cleansing my heart
of envy when I see husbands
taking care of their wives
with love in their eyes.
Help me to embrace my loneliness,
so that if it is your will one day,
I might celebrate partnership again.