Tag Archives: love

Love More Open

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A part of my healing journey
has been to loosen up a little
on some of my routines.
I have been accused of being rigid,
too attached to my routines,
and each time I felt the urge
to defend my practices
if not out loud,
then inwardly, to myself.
As I began to peer inside a little more,
I could see how my routines were sometimes fillers,
excuses not to be completely present,
because I could check out
as I attended to them…
and so this need to defend my practices
came from anxiety that they might not be serving me,
and the pain of feeling like my time spent doing them
was a complete waste.
Then again…
Is there such a thing?
Could it be that my practices served me then,
but I eventually outgrew them,
and now they no longer serve me
the way they did before?
Could I drop the shame around change?
Don’t we learn by making mistakes?
Can’t I ease up about being perfect, being right,
and instead, can I welcome this moment
with my heart that yearns to love more open?

Radiating Harmony

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I’ve been practicing this Wim Hof breathing video
every day for almost a week…
It’s eaten into my music time on my cushion,
but now I’m breathing more consciouslyβ€”
and maybe when my breath is strong enough,
I will breathe consciously as I play my music.
I have been preparing for this moment for so long:
Where I feel totally free and at ease,
allowing myself to create authentically
from my deepest center,
letting the love of life, of presence
flow from me, radiating harmony into the world.

Quality Time

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We trekked into the forest today,
my son, my daughter and I,
and I was amazed at how
our outing provided so much
of what my heart was yearning for:
First, to be with my two most favorite people.
Second, to spend time in the green cathedral.
Third, to move slowly, with the wind, breathing.
Fourth, to open my eyes to what Spirit is seeing.
And finally, to feel free in space and time,
soaking in the present moment, grateful,
So grateful.

What I Heard in the Forest

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I went to pray
in the green cathedral
of the forest today.
I breathed,
and my heart was open.
I sat, surrounded
by the symphony of life,
birdsong, wind,
rock, moss, ferns, earth,
water, trees…
I felt so blessed
to soak in this beauty,
this perfection of life,
of being.
I asked for the truth
to be revealed to me.
This is what I heard:

You are the one and only instrument of creation.
You are consciousness, and I love you.
I love all the ways you express yourself,
the myriad forms you assume to create
the tapestry of existence!
I celebrate you today,
exactly as you are,
pure consciousness,
light of being.

Drift Into Dreamland

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He must’ve been tired,
because my eight year old said
Can we go to bed?
Can you tuck us in?

And I thought
Yes please go to bed.
Who’ll tuck me in?

And then I got up from where
we were snuggled in reading.
I shivered into my robe,
then tucked my daughter in
after brushing her hair
and scratching her back
and answering some questions.
I tucked my son in,
raining kisses on his forehead,
his cheeks;
he got annoyed.
I remembered that nothing lasts forever,
not even mother’s kisses
that give us angels’ wings
right before we drift into dreamland.

Such A Beautiful Place

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If I can drop a little deeper
below the surface of the mind
that is always problem-solving
and strategizing,
I arrive at a place where all is well.
Don’t get me wrong,
the world is still the world,
and there is still a Pandemic happening,
there are still bills to be paid
and an ex-husband to negotiate with
and a house to clean
and meals to prepare
and laundry to be done.
There is still a heart that yearns open
for a beautiful partner to share love with.
There is still the feeling of vulnerability
that comes with such deep sharing,
and the fear that I will never be met
the way I long to be met.
There is still the exhaustion one feels
being the only adult in the house
with two very active children
who still don’t know
how to pick up after themselves.
Yes, all of these things still exist,
as I am a human woman
living on this earth.
But if I can drop a little deeper
below the surface of the mind
that is always problem-solving
and strategizing,
I arrive at a place where all is well.
It is such a beautiful place.
And this is why I practice.

NaPoWriMo 2020 Day 18

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Today’s prompt over at NaPoWriMo invites us to write a poem about life’s simple pleasures. There are many. How could I choose just one? Or even a hundred? It’s almost midnight so I’ll contain myself and mention a few of my simple pleasures.

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The sound of bubbles colliding with the sides of my glass
as I sip my sparkling water
Stepping outside and feeling fresh, cool wind on my face
The sun piercing through the clouds after days of rain
The scent of a fresh pot of green tea
Feeling my fingertips growing calloused from playing guitar
The sound of my children’s laughter
The taste of a really crisp apple
Sitting on my cushion in the morning and looking inwards
Watching blossoms fluttering from the trees like snowflakes
Lying down to sleep after an exhausting day
Taking a nap in the middle of the day
Watching ink spill out of my pen and onto the page
The feel of yarn slipping through my fingers
as I knit another row
The sound of my sewing machine.
The smell of steam rising off fabric while I’m ironing
Hitting several green lights in a row
Stepping into the hot shower when I feel cold
Love welling up as I tuck my kids in at night.
Walking
Breathing
Smiling
Just. Being. Alive.