We have it backwards.
We think that when we change,
get the car,
then we can love ourselves—
but it’s the other way around.
When we love ourselves
then we will change.
Self-love is the engine
of all healing and transformation.
All of a sudden,
I gave myself permission
to be happy,
to learn how to tolerate
to raise my threshold
to stop holding myself back,
I had given myself
the most potent medicine there is:
S E L F L O V E
Being a friend to myself.
Loving myself despite my imperfections.
Laughing at the absurdity of genetics,
biology, habit, and ingrained response.
It lies in opening my arms and my heart fully
to this moment as it presents itself,
to ME, as I present myself…
And it is found in breathing deeply and slowly,
welcoming this moment
molecule by molecule,
breath by breath,
word by word,
sound by sound,
action by action,
life by life.
for those who struggle with anger,
coming from a woman
who deals with anger
more than she cares to admit,
but at least you can rest assured
that this comes from an authentic place
of direct experience–
how else would I know
how to speak about it?
Today let my fuse
grow one fraction of an inch longer,
that for one fraction of a second
I might pause
that I am not this
heavy feeling that wants to consume me,
wildfire in a drought ridden-forest.
Let the fires be soothed
in the cooling rain of compassion.
And when I come back to myself,
let me be just a little more forgiving,
that I might extend lovingkindness
to myself and others,
and in healing myself,
create the conditions
for healing the world.
When the resistance is gone, so are the demons. –Pema Chodron
What you resist, persists.
What you open to,
what you look at,
what you accept
integrates and dissipates
back into the great unknown
from whence it came.
All the parts of yourself
that you’d rather not acknowledge–
the painful memories
the sadness, the pettiness,
the rage, the resentment
these are your greatest friends!
They show you where
love is needed most.
Walk straight up to your inner demons.
Put an arm around them,
say, “I love you.”
Poof! Most will vanish
because they have served their purpose.
Some demons will be particularly
persistent, like they’ve taken up
and will never leave.
Those persistent ones need your love too.
Hold all these pieces with tenderness.
Watch them soften and melt.
Let them flow back into your heart as
you breathe in,
relieved to have finally come home.
Start with yourself
This is the only place
You are the only one
You don’t need a mirror
glued to a wall
to see yourself.
Look at the mirror inside.
Begin with a sense
of unconditional kindness
and genuine compassion
for the tender-hearted one in you
who sometimes hurts,
who sometimes feels great joy.
Begin with yourself.
Feel how you would never
never give up.
Feel this in the depths of your being.
Yes, now you’re ready
to show up for someone else,
to be kind, to be compassionate.
Now you are ready
for authentic connection.
It’s easy to think highly of yourself
when you’re feeling good
and everything is going your way.
It’s easy to like the person that you are
when you’re perceiving yourself as successful,
But what happens when the opposite true?
What do you think of yourself
when you’re feeling terrible,
and nothing is going your way?
How do you feel about the person that you are
when you see yourself as a failure
True self-love means
that we can hold ourselves with tenderness
through thick and thin,
that we can be kind to ourselves
even when we’ve blown it,
when we’ve lost it,
when we’re down in the dumps.
This too is a practice.
feeling unconditional kindness towards yourself,
offering genuine friendliness
to the person you are right now,
this is a most excellent skill.
It is a lifelong journey,
like a good marriage.
And like a good marriage,
it requires forgiveness,
and openness to the great mystery.
If you do no other thing
in this lifetime
except learn how to truly love yourself,
it will be a life well-lived,
because this true love felt within,
can then be radiated as true love
to all beings, lightening the burden of others,
showing them how to be loving as well.
Begin again and yet again
as many times as it takes
until one day
you can love yourself