Tag Archives: metacognition

Parenthetical Nonsense

Standard

This afternoon I was really wallowing
in self-pity.
(Hey, at least I can see it.)
I was feeling sorry for myself,
lonely, listless, lethargic, worthless,
abandoned, powerless, broken.
And it finally struck me…
If this is my rock bottom,
then I’m doing pretty well.

I mean…
I’m safe, warm and dry in a home
(even if it’s going into foreclosure
and I have no idea how much longer
I’ll be here).
I have plenty of food available,
electricity, running water, a car that works.
I love my work as a yoga teacher
(even if I am not currently being paid enough
to support myself and my two children).
I have so many books chock full of information
right at my fingertips; I can read and learn.
I can write.
I can reach out to a friend
(even if Depression lies to me
and tells me that no one cares).
And I realized that this is all about focus.
Which thoughts am I focusing on and believing?
And can I focus on thoughts that will help?
I can try to shift my mind
(even if I have tried and tried a million times
and I keep ending up back here).
I can put one foot in front of the other.
I can breathe.
(even if I doubt this will ever change).
Clearly, I need to focus on facts
and ignore the parenthetical nonsense
(even if it seems impossible in this moment).

May I Choose Wisely

Standard

The depression and the despair
creep up and try to settle in;
I know them well
and I know where this is going.
It occurs to me to not go there,
not this time.
This time, I tell myself,
I’ll remember that I can choose.
I am not the screen,
nor the images projected upon it,
neither am I the projector–
I am the one who stands behind it,
watching the movie being played.
I am the one who chooses the reels.
I can choose a beautiful story,
a joyful, delightful, healing story.
Meditation gives me this choice.
Let me remember who I really am.
I am not this sad story
of grief and loss, not this time.
This time I am strength,
resilience, freedom, forgiveness.
I am creativity, inspiration,
sensuousness, sacredness.
May I remember my power.
May I choose wisely.

Your Tender Heart

Standard

What are you searching for?
What are you hoping to find?
What do you think will make you happy?
Stop.
Just stop, close your eyes, sit still.
Take a deep breath.
Everything you always wanted
is where it has always been,
where it always will be–
right here within you,
inside the most sacred
chamber of your achingly
beautiful, tender heart.

Trusting What Is

Standard

When I stop for a moment–
just one little moment–
and I take a deep breath,
I wonder what I was running from
And why my mind was clouded with so much thinking.

If I take a good look at my thoughts
I discover that I often attempt to control outcomes
and many of my efforts are devoted
to creating a future that fits with my vision of how things should be.

This way of acting creates suffering.
When I want it to be cooler out
and it’s 96 degrees and humid,
I feel irritated because of the discomfort.

When I want it to be warmer
and we’re stuck in a polar vortex,
bundled head to toe in multiple layers–
I curse the winter and wish it could be summer again.

What would life be like if I could trust what is?
What would this moment be like if I loved it completely?
How would I interact with everyone around me–
my husband, my children–
if I accepted them exactly as they are?

How would I feel about myself
if I could focus on this being in me,
instead of all the things that I perceive as faults?

Sitting in meditation brings me closer
to this place of knowing, of loving,
of trusting what is.

May I carry the wisdom of my deep self with me
when I rise from my cushion to be in this world.