Tag Archives: mindset

No Summit

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As goals are reached
new goals must be set
or else we will plateau.
This time last year,
my goal was just to make it through the day.
At the end of each day
noting that I was still alive—
this felt like an accomplishment.
I survived.
As time went on and the months flew by,
my goal was to make it through
the betrayal, the loss,
the pain, the shame, the heartbreak,
the utter devastation of divorce.
The divorce was finalized in January.
I survived.
As time went on and the months flew by,
my goal was to figure out new housing,
to keep my kids in their school,
somehow, someway
to maintain stability for my children.
All of the pieces are falling into place.
I survived.
It looks like the Universe
is conspiring in my favor.
What is my goal now?
More than financial stability,
more than a home,
more than recognition…
I want to know what my
deepest, truest offering is,
and how I can share my gifts with the world
in a more impactful way.
I’m diving deeper in now,
asking for guidance,
asking for the plan to be revealed
so that I can keep trekking up this mountain
that has no summit.

Option A

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I spoke with a man today
who specializes in the psychology
of humans being evicted from their homes.
He gave me some sound advice:
This is a low point;
you can only go up from here.
Money is no big deal;
you can always make more of it.
As long as you and your children are healthy,
everything is going to be just fine.
Don’t focus on two years from now,
just deal with whatever problems arise today.
You’ll get through this
and someday this will just be a memory.
It’s awful, but it’s temporary.

He shared that he had lost his house
during the recession over ten years ago.
It helped to know
that he was coming from experience
instead of blind sympathy.
My task now is training my brain to know
that I am safe in this moment,
and conditioning my nervous system
to respond with relaxation
in the face of challenge—
or at least to have a positive mindset
about the challenges.
It feels like a superhuman feat
to trust, to have faith, to breathe,
to choose my mindset…
But the alternative is despair.
I’ll go with Option A.

A New Habit

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Oh sweetheart,
it’s going to be fine,
it really is.
You worry
and you worry
and you worry
worry
worry
but truly—
it’s going to be fine.
Hasn’t it always worked out
in one way or another?
Haven’t there been times
where the outcome
of some difficult experience
was even better
that you could’ve
ever anticipated?
Or is it that you
just don’t know how
not to worry?
Sweetheart, honestly,
it’s time for a new habit.
Instead of worrying,
how about celebrating?

I Choose Happiness Today

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Today is the day I choose
to spend more time in self-love
than in self-deprecation,
more time in self-acceptance
than in self-criticism,
more time in joy
than in depression,
more time in gratitude
than in complaining,
more time in celebration
than in grief.
Happiness is a choice I must make.
I choose happiness today.

See What Happens

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What if, instead of asking
What could go wrong?
You could train yourself
to proclaim
The outcome of this situation
is going to be even better
than I could have ever possibly imagined
?
How, then, would you live?
How would you perceive
the challenges of your life?
Why not try this as an experiment?
For the next week,
every time something happens,
just proclaim
The outcome of this situation
is going to be even better
than I could have ever possibly imagined

and see what happens!

Always Another Way

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Up half the night with a sick child,
scrubbing puke out of the carpets,
attempting not to resent my ex
for leaving me
to deal with moments like these
on my own.
How can I tweak my mindset
when the moment
is so obviously difficult?
Any way you look at it,
a pukey carpet is smelly and gross.
How do you find spiritual wisdom
in disgusting moments?
Well…I tried.
I tried to tell myself
It is a privilege to clean up my daughter’s throw-up.
Yes I did.
I thought about childless couples
who would’ve paid dearly
many times over
to have a son or daughter of their own,
who would’ve been glad to be in my shoes,
scrubbing mess out of the carpet,
just to know they had a kid to love and raise.
It strikes me now in retrospect,
that it wasn’t so much the content of my mind,
but the act of attempting to shift
from feeling exhausted and overburdened
to the recognition of my blessings—
however disgustingly they were disguised—
that might bear beautiful fruit in the future.
Who knows what can grow
of experiences like these,
when they are met with the awareness
that there is always another way?

I Can Learn Something

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I can feel the pressure building inside of me,
pressure to get things done, get things organized,
be better, do more, know more,
pressure to have a plan,
pressure to answer others’ questions…
It’s the dark time of the year,
and the darkness is bringing me down.
I don’t want this pressure.
I want to hide.
God, help me change my mind.
Help me welcome the pressure.
Let me see this discomfort as a yoga posture
life has given me to master.
If I can breathe through it,
I can learn something from it.