Tag Archives: mission

Turn Within

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I have been searching and wondering and questioning.
I have been hoping and wishing and praying.
I have been dreaming and writing and visioning.
I have been singing and dancing and running.
And always, the object of the search eludes me.
I am exhausted, fighting battles with myself,
spurring myself on, telling myself to push through.
And then it occurs to me that I have it all wrong.
I’ve been headed in the wrong direction all along.
If I could just get still and silent and listen,
I’d see that the only direction I’ve left out
is the answer to every seeker’s agonizing request
to be shown their purpose and their path.
When every other option has fizzled out
and it seems like there’s no direction to turn,
turn within.

How To Avoid Suicide

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It feels too hard,
and I don’t want to try any more.
I want to quit, to give up,
to run away,
shut the world out,
shut down,
close my eyes
and never wake up.
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Breathe.
BREATHE.
BREATHE NOW.
********
Call a friend.
Let them listen.
Cry.
Cry more.
Cry even more.
Thank your friend for listening.
Let your friend pray for you.
Cry while she prays.
Cry when she stops praying.
Thank your friend for her prayers.
*********
Now. Make lunch.
A picnic lunch.
Pack it up.
*********
Now take your kids and go outside.
Meet up with a young woman
who has gone through similar struggles.
Listen.
Hear her.
Listen more.
See that you struggled
so that you could understand her,
see her,
help her.
HELP HER.
*********
Get out of your head
and into your heart.
Think about someone else.
Realize your struggles weren’t in vain,
because you can help someone
move through theirs
with more grace and ease.
**********
Drive back home.
Take a shower.
Make dinner.
Read your kids a bedtime story.
Write in your gratitude journal.
Go to bed.
There, you did it.
You made it through another day.
**********
NOW,
REST.

I Believe

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I believe in the spark of divinity
that exists in all of us.
I believe in our spark’s potential
to ignite our creative fires,
burning away our fears,
freeing us to bring
our passion, beauty, and light to this world,
forging a stronger, more empowered self
in the flames of our deepest desires.
My mission is to fully awaken,
to make all moments of this one life
meaningful opportunities
to grow and evolve
in awareness of the one self
that pervades all of existence.
But I am human, and sometimes I fail.
So I am grateful to my teachers and guides,
my friends and family,
who lift me up and brush me off
and help me to get on with things
whenever I get stuck.
Shanti shanti shanti.

The Only Religion I Know

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Today, for whatever reason,
I found myself remembering how people of various religions
have knocked on my door–
usually when I’m tending to my children–
and asked to speak with me about their faith.

Jehovah’s Witnesses,
Latter Day Saints,
Members of the Greater Faith Outreach Church…
am I forgetting anyone?

For some reason today,
I found myself remembering how I responded to them.
I didn’t want to be impolite or dismissive.
Clearly they had come for a reason.
I also didn’t want to spend my time
in discourse with them, feigning interest
in adopting their shared religious identity.

I remembered how I told them,
“Yes I believe in God,”
and how I silently added,
“Probably not the same way you believe.”

“Yes I pray,” I told them
and then thinking, “Probably not in the same way you do.”
Trying to maintain a sense of connectedness,
while not selling out or losing my authenticity.

I remembered I didn’t want to hurt their feelings,
but I wanted to reclaim my afternoon with my children,
and just bask in the sunny patches  of grass under the maple tree in the back yard
and stare at bugs, and clouds, and how the blades of grass dance in the breeze.

I thanked them, accepted a pamphlet,
wished them a wonderful day,
closed the door, relieved that they were gone.

Today I wondered how a spiritual master would greet such people?
Would they invite the Witnesses In, laughing?
Would they give the Latter Day Saints more of their time?
Would they listen to those of “Greater Faith,”
and offer the most precious gift of their attention?

Today I wished I could’ve had such a master with me when I answered the door.
Someone who would say, “Watch this,”
and skillfully remind whomever it was who had arrived with a speech
that silence speaks louder than words.
How if we could all just shut up for a moment,
and take the hands of the person nearest to us,
if we could look into their eyes with true love and acceptance,
we wouldn’t need to call it anything,
we wouldn’t need a special building to house that feeling
or validate that ceremony.
We wouldn’t need a brochure or a liturgy or a ritual or a common prayer
to impress newcomers and draw them into the fold.

That moment of true connection, silent and pure,
that moment of seeing the perfection of all that is,
that moment of oneness, of wholeness, of inexplicable peace for no reason at all–
this is the only religion I know.