Tag Archives: music

Inside My Prayers

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I’m so lost inside my prayers
that night is day
and day is night.
I go out in the storm
and seek refuge from the sun.
My music disappears
when I try to capture it,
and flows abundantly
when I relax into its release.
The urge to create perfection is my enemy.
Embracing my huamnness is my salve.
May all beings be happy, healthy,
peaceful and at ease.

Radiating Harmony

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I’ve been practicing this Wim Hof breathing video
every day for almost a week…
It’s eaten into my music time on my cushion,
but now I’m breathing more consciously—
and maybe when my breath is strong enough,
I will breathe consciously as I play my music.
I have been preparing for this moment for so long:
Where I feel totally free and at ease,
allowing myself to create authentically
from my deepest center,
letting the love of life, of presence
flow from me, radiating harmony into the world.

Just Get It Done

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Singing, singing, learning
this music for the Virtual Choir 6
Feeling the shame spiral
because I did my habitual thing
and waited until the day before
to really dive into the music.
I remember (again)
that the way you do anything
is the way you do everything,
and behind my procrastination
there was the perfectionist,
just trying to find the perfect time.
Well…now is the time.
With my kids out of the house
I have quiet.
I can record this music.
If only I can get it perfect right done.
Yeah, Lorien, just get it done.

Gratitude: Day 9 of 48

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Spirit in voice…

I listened to the voice within

Urging me to sing and play for my students

I was resistant but I pushed through

Now every time I sing

I feel that I am the one receiving

I no longer know who is offering …

A presence of peace and love

Moves through my voice

And I am blessed and honored by this act of giving.

I’ll keep singing.

Gratitude: Day 8 of 48

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This guitar was made for playin’.

Thank you God for all of these blessings

Thank you for this guitar

Even though I’m self-taught

Thank you for giving me the motivation to

Play and sing anyway

Thank you for sending me the courage

To play to my students

And thank you for showing me more

When I am ready .

I Made Myself Get Out, Day 2

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Well, I did it again!
Returning home this afternoon
after teaching two yoga classes;
my music director neighbor was outside
and mentioned a choral concert
he was conducting at a church downtown,
one hour after my evening workshop
was finished.
I think I can make it, I told him.
But I may be kind of blahhhhh;
I’ve had a busy weekend.

Well, he said, We’ll see ya when we see ya!
I taught my workshop,
and my impulse was to go straight home
and once again
feel lonely and sorry for myself.
Don’t go to the city
the anxious one in me said,
You’ll have to worry about parking
and you’re a women
by herself

at night.
I made myself go.
I forced myself.
I found parking not far from the church,
arrived early, found a seat in the front row.
The music was so beautiful I cried.
Afterwards I gave my neighnor a hug,
thanked him for the invitation.
Home now, freshly showered,
safe and warm,
I’m so grateful I didn’t listen
to the anxious voice
telling me not to go.
I think I’m on a roll!

Keep Singing

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The voice clearly said
Bring your guitar and sing them the song.
And she shook her head, thinking, No way.
But the voice repeated
Bring your guitar, and sing them the song.
They went back and forth a few more times,
until she acquiesced.
She brought her guitar, she sang them the song.
And then silence…
So she asked the voice
Why would you have me sing
if they didn’t even acknowledge the song?

And the voice said,
It’s not about them, darling,
It’s about how you relate to yourself
when you step outside your box
and let your voice be heard.
Now, keep singing.

Searching

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I could hear this one song playing
in my head all day long
but I couldn’t remember
the artist or the title
or the album art…
nothing.
I kept reminding myself
to just relax,
I would find it when it was time.
But the music haunted me,
and I kept searching.
I went through so many
playlists, scouring…
And I was struck (again)
by how I deprive myself
of this beautiful present
when I’m searching
for what isn’t there,
what isn’t available,
what isn’t clear,
what isn’t understood.
Finally, I let it go.
I went about my business.
I lived my life.
I read. I ate.
I went to a twelve-step meeting.
I checked in with a friend via telephone.
And then, much later,
I heard the song playing in my mind again.
I searched another playlist,
and within one minute I found it.
And I was struck (again)
at how everything comes to me
in the perfect time and space sequence…
and especially when I just relax
and allow life to unfold.

Trusting Myself

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So many choices in each moment.
What to create?
Is it time to rest?
To eat?
To sing?
To dance?
To sew?
I choose to sing.
I record my voice and listen.
I like the way it sounds,
so I keep going.
I’m learning something
about creativity and pleasure,
trusting myself in the process.

So Many Choices

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Rainy day.
Taught two yoga classes,
body is tired.
Kids are with their dad and his mistress
on a “family” trip to the ocean…
And I’m here, alone,
DETERMINED
to make this time count.
What do I do?
Take a nap?
Read a book?
Make some art?
Write in my journal?
Play my guitar?
Bang on my drum?
Sew a dress?
Knit a scarf?
Drink some wine?
When faced with so many choices,
I work myself into such a tizzy
it’s hard to choose anything at all.
I suppose I could do all of the above.
But let’s be really really real—
isn’t it delightful to have so many choices?
Maybe I’ll just go write in my gratitude journal,
thankful to be asking these questions at all.