The sun disappears at night
but it always comes back.
The warm weather makes way for the cold
but the warmth always comes back.
My peace, my happiness, like the sun, like the warmth
wax and wane with the fluctuations of time,
but they always, always come back.
Thank God for what always comes back.
Made some more masks today.
It was a rainy day and we were inside for most of it.
I’m tired of being tired, tired of being stuck at home.
At the same time,
I’m glad to be home, glad to have time with my kids.
At the same time, I’m tired of their arguments,
tired of diverting their attention,
tired of coaxing, cajoling and bribing them
to read instead of watch TV
play outside instead of watch TV
play a game instead of watch TV
make art instead of watch TV.
The old saying goes
If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em.
Maybe I should just start watching TV?
Before I met my kids’ dad I had been living on my own without a TV for years. When we were together I would periodically watch a show with him,
but I still preferred reading, writing, sewing and knitting to sitting in front of the boob tube. He left our marriage nearly three years ago, and I went back to my pre-marriage habit of never watching TV. I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve chosen to watch Netflix over engaging in my preferred pursuits; I guess I’d just rather use my brain for other things. But boy do my kids love it! I don’t want them to have too much screen time; I feel like I’m letting them down when I allow them to sit there, zombified, watching the screen for more than an hour. I dunno. Maybe it’s time to allow myself a little down time?
When going to the grocery story feels terrifying
And your friend the chiropractor
can see only one patient at a time,
When driving through the city reminds you
of an episode of The Walking Dead
and your children are home all day, every day,
When your new normal is definitely not anything
like you ever thought normal would be—
you might be going through a global health crisis,
and you might want to give up.
But like Churchill said,
“When going through hell, keep going.”
Keep going, friends. Keep going.
I taught a Zoom yoga class tonight.
It’s so strange not to be with my students,
you know, in the same room, like I’m used to.
At the same time, here I was in Maryland,
and there were friends in Texas who joined,
one in New Jersey, and one from somewhere
I clearly wasn’t, because it was night where I was,
and she had light streaming through her window.
So although I can’t be physically present to my students,
somehow, I can be with friends all over the world.
And that, my friends, is the power of the internet.
So although this strange time comes with many challenges,
there are some unexpected silver linings,
like teaching yoga to someone a thousand miles away,
Confession: I didn’t meditate this morning
Confession: I’m counting this as my meditation
Confession: I withheld love from myself until now,
I had set the goal of getting to bed by 10.
It’s almost 10:30.
I’m not even checking out the NaPoWriMo prompt.
This will have to suffice!
Night night friends!
(I am calling this a poem…using my poetic license)
Today’s prompt over at NaPoWriMo invites us to go on a walk and gather some things to create a “walking archive.” This afternoon I went on a walk around my neighborhood and left the sidewalk to duck into the woods. I was looking for morels. I found one within minutes, but it was past its prime, so I left it there, hopefully to shed its spores and give life to some new morels someday. I kept walking and came across a nice piece of quartz just lying on the forest floor. Moments later, a beautiful small feather tinged with orange caught my eye. And on the way back home, back on the sidewalk, I felt moved to pick two violets. One white, One purple.
My heart full of melancholy,
I stepped out into the world
only to see two little girls,
also stepping outside.
They were wearing masks.
I felt sad at the reminder of what life has become.
I walked into the woods looking for morels
but was really seeking solace
in the arms of the Great Mother.
I picked my way along the forest, down a slope,
across a stream,
winding my way among bunches of skunk cabbage,
every once in a while pausing to sit on an old mossy log
or hug a tree.
A gleaming chunk of quartz caught my eye.
And then a feather.
And then the sound of the stream.
And then the gift of the sunlight
warming my weary soul.
On my way back home, two little violets
spoke their sweet, secret language to me.
My heart is still full of melancholy
as I feel the sorrow of the whole world,
but the Great Mother still holds me,
always holds me, eternally holds me.
Oh boy. My state of Maryland has finally gotten around to telling its citizens that we must wear masks whenever we go out. What took us so long? I have to admit I was in denial about the whole thing, but now it’s undeniable, and I don’t have a mask. Yet. Luckily, I sew. I put a post on FB letting people know I can make masks if they need, and a bunch of people responded. It feels good to have something to do that is helpful for other people, and masks are an easy project, so it will be a meditative experience making 30 masks.
Back to the regularly scheduled programming, the prompt over at NaPoWriMo invited us to write about forgotten technology. Hmmmmmmmmm.
Remembering the Cassette Tape
I remember listening to you in my ’88 Honda Accord.
I remember having to flip you over when you were done playing one side.
I remember playing you so much that one day you stopped making intelligible sound.
I remember using a pencil to wind your film back in you when it got pulled out.
I remember making mix tapes for my friends and especially my twin sister.
I remember my WalkMan knock off, and being thrilled to walk around with you.
Do I miss you?
Maybe I miss the time when you were in my life.
Back then, there were no kids, no ex, no Pandemic.
Of course, back then there were no SmartPhones or Netflix either.
Maybe technology teaches me how to let go
as the old and obselete give rise to the new and relevant.
I don’t even know where you went!
For what it’s worth, cassette tape,
we really did have some good times, didn’t we?
Uggggg. Rough day. And today’s prompt over at NaPoWriMo invites us to write a poem complimenting something. This is probably going to be a good exercise for me, given that I’ve had a tough time today and I’m feeling quite negative. Hmmm. Should I try praising the thing I really am not liking these days, which is attempting to homeschool my kids with materials from their public school system when all the kids really want to do is watch TV?
Ah, remote learning, how AMAZING you are!
I love being in the comfort of my home with my kids.
I love that my kids get to go to the bathroom
and have snacks when they want.
I love that they can take breaks when they want.
I love that I don’t have to rush them out of bed in the morning.
And even though I’m pretty terrible at this, I’m learning too.
Even though I don’t like coaxing, cajoling and bribing
my kids to do each little piece of work,
they are learning too.
So although I’m really excited for this time to be over,
I know that there is enough good here
that I’ll miss parts of this experience when it’s gone.
Thank you, remote learning, for being a great teacher.
Today at the NaPoWriMo site, the prompt encouraged us to write a poem inspired by our favorite kind of music. I have pretty eclectic musical taste, and I’m not sure I could choose a single genre…but let’s see what happens.
A tone, droning from a singing bowl,
my own voice singing counterpoint;
I like this sound.
My voice singing along with my guitar playing and
(even though I’m self-taught)
I like this sound.
Drumming. Singing the elements,
enjoying the rhythm. Enjoying my voice.
I like this sound.
Mystical chimes, the sweetest, childlike strains,
and my voice humming softly along;
I like this sound.
Come to think of it, I do have a favorite kind of music: