Tag Archives: needs

Auto Valentine


Dear Lorien,

I love you, forever and always.
I promise to take care of you
and never, ever leave you.
I promise to support you any way I can.
I promise to celebrate you and all your successes.
I am so proud of who you’ve become!
I love spending time with you!
You are such an amazing person;
I’m so inspired by you, your openness,
vulnerability, willingness to dig deep
and allow your authentic self to speak.
Let me know how I can love you better.
I am here totally and completely for you.



Hallelujah Every Day


And then it hit me,
My needs have always been met.
This is the truth.
How would I stand here before you
if my needs had not been met?
I am alive,
so obviously some key needs were met.
Any thought attempting to prove the contrary
is a sad story…and do I want to keep this story?
Or is it time for a new interpretation,
some blessedly new content?
It’s time to practice contentedness,
just see what’s working.
You will have plenty of reasons
to shout Hallelujah
from dawn until dusk
each and every day.
Life is good, after all.

Making My Case


Heading out of town
and one week
becomes a lot to plan for.
I tell myself
This time I’ll pack lightly.
Hours later
my suitcase is as heavy
as…as…I don’t know what—
but it’s heavy.
I can’t really plan
in the end.
I can hope I have
what it takes
but ultimately
I’ll never know what I need
until the moment
presents a need.
how to go about
simplifying these needs?

Remember Your Wonder Child


But then sometimes
we get so caught up
in the rational, logical, mathematical
world of adults
that life loses its magic.

We get tunnel vision
as we strive for the success
that the outer world pressures us to achieve.

Inside something is languishing.
That something is the child,
innocent, pure, vibrant, creative,
bounding with life,
a zest for new experiences.

The child,
who gets grumpy when she is tired,
or acts out when he is told
he needs to behave a certain way
so that the adults around him
won’t feel so anxious.

That child knows what she needs,
and knows how to make those needs known.
That child can take an ordinary moment
and transform it into something wonderful,
something fresh, surprising, alive.

When life loses its magic, it’s a sign
that we have lost the child.
At times like those,
it would serve us
to allow the child to come out and play.

Maybe, first,
that child needs to know it is safe.
So the adult in you
holds the child for a moment,
rocking it, speaking in soothing tones,

It’s okay, I am here for you.
Your needs are okay with me.
I am so glad you are here,
and I will do everything I can to help you.
You are allowed to explore,
to make mistakes, to fall…
I am here to help you up again,
to encourage you to try again.
I am here to help you understand
your own unique way of learning,
and to support you as you take
steps toward realizing your greatness.

Don’t disregard the child.
Give it space to be who it is,
Love it unconditionally,
and when the fear and anxiety melt away,
when the grieving of the unmet needs has passed,

Then the child can shine in all of its magnificence.
This is a beautiful part of your mind indeed.
This is the closest you will ever come to knowing God.


I felt a little uneasy after publishing last night’s post, afraid that it might appear that I was brushing aside that which is childlike in us and extolling the virtues of a seasoned adult’s wisdom.  The child mind I was writing about last night is the one who is anxious, afraid, who doesn’t want to try because it is hurting for some reason or another.  Because I didn’t get that nuance across to my satisfaction, I felt a need to respond to my post in defense of that which is wonderful about the inner child.  Words can be so clumsy, and wielding them well enough to bring others close to understanding our inner workings takes great skill.  Although I still feel clumsy about my own word wielding, I hope that a part of you will understand a part of me and perhaps resonate with what is written here.  The wonder child is, after all, a universal archetype–one that we all can relate to–so maybe all of our inner children will come out to play at this invitation, our sparks of creativity will flame together, and we’ll raise the vibration of the whole universe with our enthusiasm.  Blessed be.



Beginning in the morning
with a little quiche
I threw together for breakfast,
and flowing into the afternoon
in which I creatively mixed some leftovers
to make a somewhat edible lunch
and then flying into the evening
with not one but TWO meals–
one for tonight
and one for tomorrow’s dinner–
I spent this day
thinking about how I nourish others,
and not just theoretically,
but truly, actually,
how I nurture others
with the food I spend so much time preparing.

And now, at night,
so tired that I can barely sit up straight,
so tired that I can barely stay awake
for my evening sit,
I wonder:

How much is too much?
When does the act of nourishing someone else
become a simultaneous act
of self-depletion?
And is there a way to strike a balance?

The question I’m always asking:
How do I get my own needs met,
when my focus is on meeting the needs of others?

I’m too tired to take a shower,
but that’s okay,
because it’s winter,
and there really isn’t any dirt or sweat
except for the dirt in my own mind,
and the sweat of the one inside me
who was racing even though
she knew there will never be a finish line.

Going to bed now.

Everything I Need


There are boxes everywhere
a week after the move,
and in each corner,
there is more stuff to be
put away, assimilated
into this new space.
The disorganization
makes me feel crazy,
until I remember:

We have our beds to sleep in,
food to eat,
a roof over our head,
family who loves us,
the ability to breathe deeply and slowly.

Ah yes,
I remember now,
I have everything I need to be happy.

Where I Need to Be


Are you adept at staying calm
during challenges?
How do you respond to stress?
Do you explode with frustration
or internalize
or withdraw…

Or perhaps you are you in tune with your feelings,
able to ask for help getting your needs met?

Years of meditation,
of practicing and teaching yoga asana
and I am still not as consistently patient
as I would like to be.

I have not changed my mental patterns
as profoundly as I was hoping.


I choose to evolve
through the power of self love and honoring.

This means that if
in this one moment,
I can stop,
take a deep breath
and wait before
I think, act, or speak,

Then I have arrived where I need to be.

And this means also that if
in this one moment,
I can’t stop,
I forget to breathe
I fly off the handle
and think, act, or speak compulsively,

Then I have arrived where I need to be.

What Do We Really Need?


At some point we’ll be moving
this I know
We want to live a place with good schools
a neighborhood where there is a sense of community
not too far from our work
in a house that meets our needs.

But what do we REALLY need?
We got into a discussion tonight.
I want that fourth bedroom
to welcome family and friends
I would like a room for arts and crafting,
a second bathroom
so that I don’t have to sit around with a
full bladder while my sister
takes her 30 minute shower
I want
a room of my very own for
my meditation,
so that I can write in peace,
so that my spiritual vibe
doesn’t get buried
under dirty socks
and cat litter
and pee pee diapers

But what do I REALLY need?
When I think of the luxury I enjoy
relative to the majority of the world population
I feel ashamed to long for a more spacious house–
how dare I want more?

I don’t need to worry about my next meal
or enough warm clothing
to get my children through the winter…
I have both arms and legs,
a mind that thinks
and a heart that loves.

do I really need a fourth bedroom,
do I truly need a space all my own
to put my meditation cushion?

Now I’m caught in that old question
about wanting versus  needing…
Do I give myself permission to want?
Do I rein in my desires and simplify my life?

I need:

human connection

Really, that’s all I need.

But damn, a second bathroom would be nice.

Can You?


Do you know how to stop,
take a breath,
and tune in?

Are you able to identify
the thoughts, feelings,
and resulting sensations in your body?

Do you know what you want,
and how to ask for it skillfully?

Can you affirm that your wants and needs are important?
Can you discern between a legitimate need
and a passing fancy?

I invite you now, today,
to acknowledge what you are wanting and needing,
and then boldly, daringly, courageously
Ask for what you want.

Can you respect the autonomy of others?
Can you abstain from throwing a tantrum
when things don’t go exactly as you hoped?

Can you continue to love
the person in front of you
when they don’t behave as you would like?
Can you offer them the same compassion
for which you are longing?

Can you affirm your power to meet your own needs,
and take steps toward authentic self love?

You can.
Yes, you can.

Do you know what would happen
if every person in this world
possessed such awareness?

World peace.