I began the day in prayer,
turning it over,
asking God for guidance.
I felt good, knowing
everything would be ok.
The morning sun
gilded every leaf on the trees outside my window
and the autumn sky was a powdery blue
so soft it nearly broke my heart.
I moved and moved and moved more stuff
from my old house into my new.
I worked and worked and worked.
By evening my mind was worn,
my temper was hot
and I didn’t want to do one more thing for anybody.
Then I wondered if the struggle between good and evil,
darkness and light,
was really a stuggle between
the fresh mind of a person newly awakened
and the tired mind of a person ready for sleep…
I sit here tired at the end of the day
and it feels like I don’t have much to say
to inspire or uplift or heal or comfort…
I’m just grateful for the quiet,
the sound of the night symphony,
insects whirring and buzzing,
the whoosh of an occasional car passing by,
a neighbor’s music floating in from somewhere.
. . . . . . . . . . .
I ask myself if I shouldn’t write these poems earlier,
when I first wake up
and the day is bright with promise
and I’m simply glad to be alive
and I still have energy to dream of what might be.
And which Lorien is really me?
The fresh, first thing in the morning meditator
or the tired single mother,
grateful that summer is almost over?
. . . . . . . . . . .
They’re both me of course,
but somehow the morning me
seems more desirable
than this tired, nighttime me who has been
completely used up by this day.
I suppose I need to hear from both of them,
because I am a full-spectrum human being,
because we are all full-spectrum human beings,
but sometimes we forget that the darkness
is just as relevant as the light,
and the movement of morning
isn’t necessarily more valuable than the stillness of night…
I am so tired
I feel it in my bones.
I’d love some energy for me
now that day is done,
time to write, to think,
to dream about what is to come.
But with kids in bed
I’m so out of my head tired
all I have the energy to do
is brush my teeth
and get to bed myself.
What a party animal I’ve become!
This is when the old thoughts return,
and I have to fight
to keep them from taking hold again.
I pray for rest, for blessed
for tomorrow is coming soon
and I have promises to keep.
I wake up anxious
and it isn’t yet the middle of the night.
Ah, it’s going to be a long one.
Two hours later
and still sleep hasn’t come.
I close my eyes,
I hope and hope for respite.
I look at the time,
each hour crawling by
so slowly it’s painful.
The morning comes finally.
I take my seat,
dive into my practice,
find enough of my Self
to act like everything is okay
when he leaves the house early
without telling me why.
I ask no questions.
It’s better that way.
Nothing remarkable to say
when it has been a long day
and I’m feeling exhausted…
so I’ll just express my gratitude
to have this comfortable bed
and a safe home,
to have my family
and the nourishment of good food.
Grateful for this day.
Grateful for this night.
They are the reason
I love the desert at night,
why I long to be free
of the city’s blaring lights.
They comfort me
in the most mysterious way;
My longing to see them
haunts me by day.
The closest one to us
gives us all life,
though we often forget it
absorbed in our strife.
Kind eyes peer
through the midnight sky,
offer warmest regards
and never ask, “Why?”
They hold the memory
of the ancestral dance
and their beautiful movement
invites me to chance
A daring belief that between the stars and me
there is nothing at all
Yeah, so, I’m not a rhymer, but for some reason I thought I’d goof around a bit tonight. It’s helpful to not take myself too seriously…some pretty wonderful things happen when relaxation takes the place of rigid expectation. May all beings know happiness.
When the last shred of energy is gone
and it’s time to surrender to the relief of sleep
Let the mind empty itself
and make space,
as a ship that crossed the sea
with heavy cargo
and has reached the other side
finds itself suddenly empty and light.
Sit at night.
Let the cares of the day slip away.
Make space for the new day to come.