Tag Archives: normal

On The Eve of My Mid-Pandemic Birthday

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Suddenly, normal was gone.
My First Response: YOGA!
I told everyone how to be yogic about this,
how to breathe, take it one day at a time, be grateful,
how to stay in the present moment,
how to be in one’s body, feeling,
loving the ones we’re at home with,
delighting in nature, the rhythms of the day.
Then my kids went back to their dad
and I found myself alone.
My Second Response: NOOOOOOOOOOO!
I wish I hadn’t watched all those episodes of The Walking Dead.
I wish I had known a Pandemic was coming.
I wish I had decluttered my house first.
I wish I had met my soulmate before the Pandemic,
so that we could be inside, together,
sitting by a sweet fire, enjoying a Quaran-tini.
I wish I had been well-established in my dreamhouse
and my dream work and my dream life
before the Pandemic,
I wish I had been so busy being successful
that I would actually need a vacation
and all this social distancing now.
Alas, all I can do is look back and say
Lorien, you were barely scraping by.
You were tired all the time.
You didn’t have time to do anything except work and mother.

Maybe it’s ok to be alone on my birthday during a pandemic.
Maybe I’ll celebrate this breath. This life.
This being here regardless of what anyone else thinks.

Some Day is Right Now

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Could I simply relax into this moment,
dive off the rigid, wire thin line of “normal”
and just immerse myself in this ocean of being?
I want to know what it’s like to love fully,
to feel content, at peace with myself,
to look out into the world
with eyes of compassion,
to cherish all beings
with the immense heart of the Buddha.
I think all of this will happen some day,
and then I remember,
it all has to happen right now.
And then I realize
Some day IS right now.