Tag Archives: numbing out

A Nice Cold One

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The reasonable voice says
Don’t panic.
But the panicky part in me
panics like never before.
So many questions.
So much uncertainty.
I hear the liquor stores are doing great right now.
It makes sense.
When faced with so much uncertainty,
and you have to stay home,
and you’re around your famly
for longer stretches of time than usual
and you don’t know how to do this…
A nice, cold one sounds like a great idea.
I’d like to tell everyone to wake up,
because that’s my job as a yoga teacher.
But I’m unemployed right now, sitting home,
alone because my kids are with their dad.
I look in my fridge. Virtually empty.
Do I risk going to the store?
A nice, cold one would be really great right now…

Ready to Feel

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I’m not feeling good and
I just want to distract myself.
For the first time in months
I watch some Netflix.
It occurs to me how similar this is
to drinking or shopping
or any other numbing out behavior:
when the show is over,
the feelings are still there.
This is why they say
You gotta feel it to heal it.
But when will I be ready to feel?