Tag Archives: parts work

I’m Writing Now

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I don’t know if it’s a sign of exhaustion
or apathy,
or straight up resistance,
but lately I haven’t been as consistent
with my writing
as I was in the past…
My inner perfectionist is horrified.
My inner critic is sneering.
My inner child is sad.
Oh well. I’m writing now.
I’m writing now.
And this moment is good enough.

Would Be Miracle

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I can hear it even now,
the voice in my head
saying everything I do is wrong,
nothing I do is right.
It’s an old voice,
an anxious voice.
It’s the meaning I made
when as a child
my broken heart sought reasons
for not receiving the love,
encouragement,
praise
and support
I wanted and deserved.
But there is no blame.
There is this moment
and a brief space of clarity
where I can remember…
If I can hear the voice
and I can repeat what it is saying
then the voice isn’t me…
It’s just a habit. It’s an echo of the past.
My intellect can articulate this clearly,
but my body needs time to catch up.
It feels sad and mopey and droopy today,
like everything is wrong
and nothing is right.
How can I bring the clarity of my intellect
to bear on the traumatized inner child
who waits and waits and waits
for it all to be over,
never realizing
that she is the one who is causing all the torment?
Healing isn’t linear and instantaenous…
it’s multidimensional,
and it takes time.
Now if only I could relax into the process
of awakening and remembering
the truth about myself…
If only I could land in a place
where these painful thoughts
no longer determine the color of my days…
That would be a miracle.

Born to Let Go

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You don’t have to push so hard.
Just breathe and let it be easy.


Easy?
That’s easy for you to say!

Who would you be without this story
that you have to struggle every day?


I’d be more peaceful,
that’s for sure!

So relax. Breathe.
Slow down. Let life flow.


Seriously?
I think you need a reality check.

Just breathe. You can do this.
You were born to let go…

Which Voice?

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I start to feel like I’m slipping.
Is it because I’m so tired?
Have I done too much today?
But wait,
am I not here
to help others?
I should be doing more.
But I’m not feeling so great.
I’m tired.
I don’t want to do anything
for anyone.
Stop being selfish.
But I need to put on
my oxygen mask
first.
Stop being so self-absorbed.
I’m feeling lonely.
I don’t want to do this.
Stop whining. Buck up.

Get back to work.
But I’m tired.
So many voices in my head.
Which one is telling
the truth?