Tag Archives: peace

Learning to Trust the Self

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Learning to trust the Self…
not the little ego self
that’s always wanting and grasping
and never satisfied,
but the Divine Self,
the deeper, more expansive Self,
the One who moves with the currents of Nature
and who listens and waits
underneath the noise and turbulence
of our contrived human sorrow.
The One who waits for us to wake up,
and pause, and breathe
and see how beautiful peace is—
this is the One I practice to know,
this is the One I show up for every morning,
this is the One I am when I become still
and close my eyes, and journey inwards…
This is the One I am learning to trust.

Keep Praying

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I’ve been turning my will and my life over
to a power greater than myself…
At first I was just dipping my toe into these waters,
foreign waters, ones I was told to deny and mistrust.
But it struck me one day that those who were telling me
that a Higher Power didn’t exist weren’t happy people!
Rule of Happiness #1:
Don’t take advice from unhappy people.
So I decided to try something different,
and admit I knew nothing,
and I had no control,
and things had become unmanageable…
and I began to pray…
I turn this day over to you.
I turn my life over to you.
Guide me, let me surrender to your will,
show me how to surrender gracefully,
and let me do your good work this day.

I’ve been praying like this for months.
You know what is starting to happen?
Peace.
I think I’ll keep praying.

Peaceful, Whole and Complete

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Ok, so, I’m moving…
And, well, I have a house full of stuff…
And, I’ve barely done any packing…
And…it’s all ok.
I woke up asking
What would Life feel like if I didn’t have to be in control?
I also asked
What would I feel like if I knew my own worth?
In the contemplative tradition,
these questions stayed deeply with me throughout the day.
While I was driving, or tidying, or teaching a yoga class,
or fixing dinner, or bringing another car load of stuff to my new home…
I kept asking these questions,
and as I asked, I simply felt peace.
It’s as if something has unlocked inside me,
and it’s something that has been waiting for a long time.
Could it be my true nature, yearning to express itself,
always being pushed into the shadows
by the illusions of control and inadequacy?
Now, as I contemplate the shadows,
it’s as if my eyes can see through the veil
to what has been waiting all along:
my Self, peaceful, whole and complete.

The Best Lover

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Don’t read this with your mind,
read it with your heart,
because your heart will know that it is true:
There is nothing missing in this moment,
and you are whole and complete as you are.

Don’t listen to your mind respond to what you just read!
You’ve got to hush that thing up, give it a vacation.
Say to your mind,
Yes, dear, I know, you don’t like this…
why don’t you take a nice hot bath or something?

Meanwhile, just run right out the back door,
get back to the love that is this moment.
It waits for you like the best lover you have ever known,
open, available, ready to give you everything,
if you just show up and allow yourself to be held.

Worth It

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I’m turning toward the one within
who has been suffering so long
trying to be good.
Sitting on my cushion,
tapping on the points,*
releasing old stories,
crying tears of old grief,
something waits for me.
Behind the stories,
before the stories,
before the layers were piled on top of me,
there was just this Self,
this essence of being,
open, clear, available to the present moment.
Uncovering that Self,
listening, seeing, and celebrating her,
setting her free to live and love authentically,
this is why I do this work.
It is so worth it.





*I’ve been practicing EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) daily since mid-May. It has gotten me throught the worst moments of terror and anxiety about the future, and grief, shame and regret about the past. It has also helped me to stay sober when I had moments of wanting to numb out with various societally acceptable ways of escaping one’s feelings. Do you practice EFT or have you ever heard of it? There aren’t too many people in my sphere who have. I have found it so helpful that I’m feeing called to share the practice.

Feeling

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You can’t heal what you can’t feel…
and so my biggest task
has been just allowing the feelings to rise,
to be seen, acknowledged, embraced,
and finally felt.
For a long time I attempted to deny my feelings,
because they appeared too painful to accept,
and I was afraid of what might happen
if I allowed the tidal wave to crash over me.
It turns out that I was giving my attention
to my fear of the difficult feelings
rather than to the feelings themselves.
The fear made it all seem so much worse
that it really was.
Once I peeled back all my layers
of distraction, denial and defense
and exposed my tender heart to myself,
I saw that there was nothing to fear.
As the grief came up, the doubt,
the self-blame, the regret, the anger,
the loneliness, the abandonment,
the resistance and all the others
emerged as a procession,
one by one, to be fully received
and welcomed by me.
As I allowed these feelings to flow through,
I sensed underneath them my resilience,
my strength, and finally my hope
for new feelings to arrive
once I’ve made enough room for them
by letting the old feelings go…