I thought I knew what I was thinking.
I had built up so many stories about her.
I had judged her.
I had replayed in my head
the scene of our last interaction
hundreds, if not thousands, of times.
I thought that it would be terrible
seeing her again.
I felt guarded and justified in my disconnect.
And there she was today, quiet, listening intently.
She gave me a hug. She smiled.
I felt brave. I shared.
She had been doing the work too;
I could see it on her face.
She is so much like me
and I like who I see.
I actually enjoy being with her.
She isn’t who I thought she was.
I’m glad she’s here.
Life surprised me today.
I thought her visit was going to be terrible.
It ended up being a miracle.
After all of this questioning and soul-searching
I remember brother Rumi talking about
how the quest leads us away
from the object of the quest.
Have I been searching in the wrong places all along?
Or was I led to all of these places
only to force me to see that they were
always pointing me back home?
I’d like to know how surrender works,
Show me, Essence of Life,
how to flow with the present moment
in gratitude and peace.
Love is within.
Don’t fool yourself into thinking
you can find it out in the world—
you’ll be searching your whole life.
But sit. Get still.
Close your eyes.
Sense the presence of love
pulsing within you,
where it has always been,
where it is now,
where it will always be.
Know a love
that cannot be diminished
or taken away,
a love that just is.
With a love like this,
you’re at home
wherever you are,
safe and at peace
inside the tender heart
of the universe.
Breathe into your thoughts.
the way wind disperses
old dried leaves upon the sidewalk.
Let your breath
blow the thoughts away
and clear the path
to greater things.
Could I simply relax into this moment,
dive off the rigid, wire thin line of “normal”
and just immerse myself in this ocean of being?
I want to know what it’s like to love fully,
to feel content, at peace with myself,
to look out into the world
with eyes of compassion,
to cherish all beings
with the immense heart of the Buddha.
I think all of this will happen some day,
and then I remember,
it all has to happen right now.
And then I realize
Some day IS right now.
Forgiveness leads to peace.
You can give yourself the gift of peace.
Search in your mind
for those against whom
you hold grievances.
Do I want to carry this burden any longer?
Really listen to the answers that emerge
from the depths of your truest self.
Your truest self is peace.
Grievances hide this self from you.
set this self free from the prison you made.
There is so much beauty in the world
beyond your story.
Asking how and why
and being told to wait.
and being told
I need to be patient.
I have these big dreams, God,
how will I realize them?
Child, just watch.
You are allowed to sit back
and relax as the majesty unfolds.
I want this for you.