Tag Archives: perspective

How You Live

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Every day is another universe to explore.
If it seems routine or boring,
look harder. Breathe. Feel. Taste.
The weather is always changing.
The light will never be the same.
The sounds arising, each and every one,
are more miracles of universes
being created and coming to pass.
This human life is the tiniest blip
on the grand scale of the universe,
where entire galaxies are born and die
and eons flash by in a single day.
Don’t take yourself too seriously.
This will all be gone, and soon.
How you live this day
is the only thing that matters.

NaPoWriMo 2020 Day 14

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It’s almost 11pm. I am tired. Right before I carried my sleeping son from my bed to his bed, I checked out the prompt over at NaPoWriMo and figured I’d just wing this one.

๐Ÿคช๐Ÿคช๐Ÿคช๐Ÿคช๐Ÿคช๐Ÿคช๐Ÿคช๐Ÿคช๐Ÿคช๐Ÿคช๐Ÿคช๐Ÿคช๐Ÿคช๐Ÿคช๐Ÿคช๐Ÿคช๐Ÿคช๐Ÿคช๐Ÿคช๐Ÿคช๐Ÿคช๐Ÿคช๐Ÿคช
What It’s Like Being A Single Mom During a Pandemic
๐Ÿ—๐Ÿญ๐Ÿข๐Ÿฌ๐Ÿฃ๐Ÿค๐Ÿญ๐Ÿข๐Ÿฌ๐Ÿฃ๐Ÿค๐Ÿข๐Ÿข๐Ÿข
I drive into the city to pick up my kids.
The city doesn’t act like a city anymore.
It looks uncertain and confusedโ€”
like the rest of us.
It looks like it is waiting for somethingโ€”
like the rest of us.
๐Ÿ’ป๐Ÿ’ป๐Ÿ’ป๐Ÿ’ป๐Ÿ’ป๐Ÿ’ป๐Ÿ’ป๐Ÿ’ป๐Ÿ’ป๐Ÿ’ป๐Ÿ’ป๐Ÿ’ป๐Ÿ’ป๐Ÿ’ป๐Ÿ’ป๐Ÿ’ป๐Ÿ’ป๐Ÿ’ป๐Ÿ’ป๐Ÿ’ป
We get back home and I fiddle with my computer
until I successfully get my fourth grader into her online class meetup.
I bring her snacks.
She tells me she isn’t supposed to eat during online learning.
(I think to myself, Why in the world not?)
I watch her drawing during the online class,
just like she does when she attends class in person.
I mean, just like she used to do,
back when kids went to school…
I fiddle with my other computer
until I successfully get my second grader into his online class meetup.
I bring him snacks.
He chews with his mouth open
and sprays bits of apple on my laptop.
I am not amused.
I attempt to read while they finish their online class meetups.
I am only partially successful.
๐ŸŒณ๐ŸŒฒ๐Ÿƒ๐ŸŒท๐Ÿƒ๐ŸŒฒ๐ŸŒณ๐ŸŒฒ๐Ÿƒ๐ŸŒท๐Ÿƒ๐ŸŒฒ๐ŸŒณ๐ŸŒฒ๐Ÿƒ๐ŸŒท๐Ÿƒ๐ŸŒฒ๐ŸŒณ
I take my kids out on a walk.
It’s a beautiful, cool day.
My ten year old is already fifteen in her tone, body language,
and declarations of existential angst.
I am not amused.
I attempt empathy, patience, kindness, and compassion.
I attempt to enjoy my walk in spite of my ten year old’s angst.
I am only partially successful.
๐Ÿง๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿฎ๐Ÿญ๐Ÿฌ๐Ÿง๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿฎ๐Ÿญ๐Ÿฌ๐Ÿง๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿฎ๐Ÿญ๐Ÿฌ๐Ÿง๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿฎ๐Ÿญ๐Ÿฌ
Back home my idea to bake brownies
devolves into a fight over who gets to set the oven temperature.
I am not amused.
I again attempt empathy, patience, kindness and compassion
and am mostly unsuccessful.
I am disapointed, annoyed, frustrated and depressed.
I want to scream.
๐Ÿ‘ฉ๐Ÿปโ€๐Ÿ’ป๐Ÿ‘ฉ๐Ÿปโ€๐Ÿ’ป๐Ÿ‘ฉ๐Ÿปโ€๐Ÿ’ป๐Ÿ‘ฉ๐Ÿปโ€๐Ÿ’ป๐Ÿ‘ฉ๐Ÿปโ€๐Ÿ’ป๐Ÿ‘ฉ๐Ÿปโ€๐Ÿ’ป๐Ÿ‘ฉ๐Ÿปโ€๐Ÿ’ป๐Ÿ‘ฉ๐Ÿปโ€๐Ÿ’ป๐Ÿ‘ฉ๐Ÿปโ€๐Ÿ’ป๐Ÿ‘ฉ๐Ÿปโ€๐Ÿ’ป๐Ÿ‘ฉ๐Ÿปโ€๐Ÿ’ป๐Ÿ‘ฉ๐Ÿปโ€๐Ÿ’ป๐Ÿ‘ฉ๐Ÿปโ€๐Ÿ’ป๐Ÿ‘ฉ๐Ÿปโ€๐Ÿ’ป๐Ÿ‘ฉ๐Ÿปโ€๐Ÿ’ป๐Ÿ‘ฉ๐Ÿปโ€๐Ÿ’ป๐Ÿ‘ฉ๐Ÿปโ€๐Ÿ’ป๐Ÿ‘ฉ๐Ÿปโ€๐Ÿ’ป๐Ÿ‘ฉ๐Ÿปโ€๐Ÿ’ป
Another mom tells me that her husband is annoying her
by sharing his two cents about their kids’ remote learning,
and then going back to his remote working
while my friend attempts to harangue their kids
into actually attending to their remote learning.
She is not amused.
I am suddenly glad that I am single.
๐Ÿฅฆ๐Ÿฅ™๐Ÿฅ•๐Ÿฅ’๐Ÿฅฆ๐Ÿฅ™๐Ÿฅ•๐Ÿฅ’๐Ÿฅฆ๐Ÿฅ™๐Ÿฅ•๐Ÿฅ’๐Ÿฅฆ๐Ÿฅ™๐Ÿฅ•๐Ÿฅ’๐Ÿฅฆ๐Ÿฅ™๐Ÿฅ•๐Ÿฅ’
I make dinner with as much efficiency as I can muster.
We eat well.
The kids devour their dessert.
We sit together working on our own things.
My ten year old draws.
My eight year old works on a puzzle.
I play with my singing bowls.
We are very successful.
๐ŸŒฒ๐ŸŒณ๐Ÿƒ๐ŸŒณ๐ŸŒฒ๐ŸŒ”๐ŸŒฒ๐ŸŒณ๐Ÿƒ๐ŸŒณ๐ŸŒฒ
We get ready for bed.
I read to them a few pages
of The Phantom Tollbooth.
My son passes out.
My daughter goes back to her room
to read some Harry Potter.
I muster up the strength to carry my
eight year old into his room.
I pour him into his bed and tuck him in.
My ten year old is still reading.
I tuck her in and turn off the lights.
She smiles and says I love you.
I am extraordinarily successful.

A Brand New Habit

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It’s up to me.
I choose how I go through this.
I choose my response.
The old habit may be to panic,
catastrophize and focus
on what could go wrong,
but this habit isn’t helpful.
It isn’t life-affirming,
or empowering.
It doesn’t enable me
to offer my gifts to the world.
Why not breathe?
Why not practice gratitude
for what could be
an incredible opportunity
for awakening, for transformation?
Why not envision
a realm of infinite possibility?
Let’s collectively create
a brand new habit called:
awakening to our blessings,
envisioning possiblity,
offering our gifts in service
to the greatest good!

Take A Break to Keep Calm, Appreciate, Create

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Worrying doesn’t help,
so don’t do it.
A break from the routine is a chance
to appreciate the minute daily occurrences
that we take for granted.
That which appeared insignificant
in an unconscious repetition
suddenly becomes profoundly meaningful.
The mundane becomes sacred
in the light of such deep appreciation.
We find we yearn for what we had,
so many little acts of connection
and familiar places we can no longer access
because of unforeseen changes
and uncertain futures.
When we aren’t involved in an
unconscious routine
the space of uncertainty lets loose a discomfort
for the one who needs the calm familiar,
the safe, the known.
My friends, be not afraid.
This is an awakening.
How you experience this is entirely up to you.
Take a deep breath with me, now,
and breathe again.
Now is the time to cultivate appreciation.
The molecules of gratitude for
everything you love
coursing through your being
bring tidings of light and health
to every cell of your body.
Drink in what you love, now
through smiling deep breaths
of YES YES YES to life, YES!
Do not let fear pickle your cells
in darkness and despair.
Let me feel your shining smile
through the ethers our friendship now inhabits.
Stand in your one little spot of earth
and declare that you are an anchor
for peace, for gratitude,
for love.
My friends, be not afraid.
This is a sacred time.
Let the visions that were trampled
under the daily stampede of traffic
now float up in a whisper an inch
behind your eyelids.
Listen to this whisper.
It promises the joy you have yearned for
in the deepest center of your soul.
Now is the time to create, to express;
in the space of the unknown
you have so much room to choose
how this goes.
Sweethearts, this…is…a…VACATION!
Celebrate! Love! Sing! Dance!
Enjoy the beloveds you
have the privilege to share space with!
Show us your art!
Sing us your songs!
Let us hear your laugh!
Let us see your funny faces!
Share with us a video
of something beautifully boring!
Let us send little resonances
along the web that connects us
to tickle and delight and uplift
what the outer world cannot touch.

To sum up:

Take a break
to keep calm,
appreciate
and create!

Gratitude, Day 30 of 48: Perspective

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You’ve come a long way baby!
You were scared to live without him
and then he left.
You thought you were going to die,
but you didn’t.
You were terrified you wouldn’t find a new home,
and then you did.
You weren’t sure you could make ends meet,
but you have, month after month after month.
Just look at you go, sweetheart!
See how it all works out?
From my perspective, you’re a superhero.
And…I LOVE YOU.

Keep Working

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It won’t feel like it’s mine
unless I’ve worked for it,
and so the Universe
is giving me a chance to work.
I can feel my old thinking
crop up sometimes,
especially now,
when I feel tired in body and mind
and I’m longing for quiet and rest.
Old thoughts come back,
about deserving better,
about wishing it had gone differently,
outraged about circumstances
beyond my control.
But I’ve been practicing.
I’ve been practicing
day after day
I’ve been practicing hard.
And my new thinking
responds to the old
and says:
You don’t HAVE to do this,
you GET do to do this.
You aren’t a victim,
you are a powerful woman
who has been given an opportunity
to step into her power
and love herself back to health.
You are a fortunate woman
who has been led to wake up
to the beauty of the present moment
and express her gifts, talents and abilities
in service of all beings.
You are a work in progress,
you’ll never be done,
so keep working, woman,
keep working.

Choose Well

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I can get excited about what’s coming,
I can dwell in the past,
or I can rest in awareness of my awareness
in this present moment.
One is creative and incites me to action.
One recreates the hunger of anxious places.
One allows me to see my Universe
from a broader perspective.
Where I go in my mind is my choice.
May I choose well.

Good Enough

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At the end of the day,
if I can say I did my best,
well then, this must be good enough.
Sure, my credit cards are maxed,
there’s next to nothing in my checking account,
and I keep asking my mom for grocery money.
But there is a roof over my head,
my children are clean, fed and in bed,
and I’m breathing.
Yes. This.
This is good enough.

A Huge Success

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I taught a meditation workshop today
and only three people showed up.
From a profit-driven business standpoint,
it was a miserable flop,
not worth the time invested.
Luckily, I have access to other standpoints.
So when a young woman approached me
after the workshop, crying,
sharing that she remembered her deceased father
during our lovingkindness meditation,
when she appeared bewildered by her emotions
(even apologized for them),
and when I was able to praise her for her courage
and share with her that it was an honor and a privilege
to bear witness to her processโ€”
I knew something bigger was at play here.
Today wasn’t about me turning a profit,
it was about me touching a life.
It wasn’t about material abundance,
it was about human connection.
It wasn’t about my personal glory,
it was about beholding the radiance
of a sweet soulย coming home
after a long time away.

From this standpoint,
my workshop was a huge success,
and I am proud of the work that was done.

Opening to Bigger

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And so what if
I could hold myself accountable
for being the kind of person
able to create the kind of life
I’m really excited to be living?
What if I discovered my power
was in changing my perspective
when I could no longer
change my circumstances?
What if all the big questions
weren’t supposed to have answers,
but were instead just doors
opening to even bigger questions?