Tag Archives: poetry

πŸ‘»GhostedπŸ‘»

Standard

We went on some wonderful dates.
First date: A twenty-mile bike ride.
Second date: Kayaking on the lake, then sushi,
then yoga on an outdoor covered stage
during a thunderstorm.
Third date: Rock climbing,
swinging in my hammock,
heart full of possibility.
All dates: Amazing conversation,
many points of common interest,
lots of laughter.
We had a fourth date last Thursday.
He kissed me! I was thrilled!
We talked about moving forward with each other.
I felt myself falling in love!
We made plans for Monday.
And then…
And then…
Saturday came and there was no word from him.
It was hard for me to enjoy the 4th of July
because I felt so much angst and uncertainty.
Sunday came and there was no word from him.
It was hard for me to enjoy the 5th of July
because I felt so much sadness and confusion.
Monday came and there was no word from him.
It was hard for me to enjoy the 6th of July
because I felt so much heartbreak and devastation.
πŸ‘»πŸ‘»πŸ‘»πŸ‘»πŸ‘»πŸ‘»πŸ‘»πŸ‘»πŸ‘»πŸ‘»πŸ‘»πŸ‘»πŸ‘»
πŸ‘»πŸ‘»πŸ‘»πŸ‘»He ghosted me.πŸ‘»πŸ‘»πŸ‘»πŸ‘»
πŸ‘»πŸ‘»πŸ‘»πŸ‘»πŸ‘»πŸ‘»πŸ‘»πŸ‘»πŸ‘»πŸ‘»πŸ‘»πŸ‘»πŸ‘»
With the ghostly memories of our wonderful dates
moaning and wailing in my ears,
I kept asking, Why? Why?
What did I do wrong?

Heart broken, sad,
ashamed that I had let my guard down
and shown a man my heart
after three long years of…
no…man…at all…
I reached out to make sure he was safe.
He said, Can we be friends?
I began to feel angry at life, angry at God,
angry at myself for risking being hurt again.
I wanted to crawl under a rock
and go back to living like a nun.
My friend and my sister said,
Just get back on those dating sites
and see what happens.

I have a first date scheduled for Friday:
Coffee
I have a first date scheduled for Saturday:
Hiking
I have a first date scheduled for Sunday:
Kayaking Big Gunpowder Falls.
Wish me luck.

I Needed That!

Standard

I am so grateful.
I went climbing today!
YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
It was a beautiful summer day,
nice and cool at the crags,
shaded by beautiful trees
splendidly clothed in their
finest green garments.
I climbed.
I swung in my hammock with a new friend.
I am excited for possibility,
connection,
and fun.
Yeah…I needed that!

Relaxes and Sighs

Standard

My posts have been spotty of late,
and my critical mind wants to lament
and wail about my lack of discipline.
Then the practical adult in me recounts
what I’ve been doing with my days and nights
and counters the critic with
Now just where do you think we’d find the time
to write when we’re not even getting enough time to sleep?

The critic then makes it a bad thing
to change my routine, to have a different schedule.
It’s addicted to feelings of shame, anxiety, and unworthiness.
It’s saying I need to go back to the way things were.
But things aren’t the way they were.
Not even a little.
Things have changed.
I am glad about that.
I am a part of all things,
even though my ego would tell me I am separate.
I have changed too.
I am glad about that.
I don’t need to feel guilty for changing,
for adopting a different routine,
for using my time in different ways.
Therefore, I am glad to write when I can,
and not a minute before.
(Takes a deep breath and lies down on the floor,
looks out the window at a puffy, white cloud floating
in the blue sky, relaxes and sighs.)

Inside My Prayers

Standard

I’m so lost inside my prayers
that night is day
and day is night.
I go out in the storm
and seek refuge from the sun.
My music disappears
when I try to capture it,
and flows abundantly
when I relax into its release.
The urge to create perfection is my enemy.
Embracing my huamnness is my salve.
May all beings be happy, healthy,
peaceful and at ease.

Still Enough

Standard

The inner critic creeps up
and tries to interrupt
the flow of peaceful thoughts
that now stream through my mind
quite regularly after years of meditation practice,
prayer, determination, effort,
discipline, will, twelve-step meetings,
coaching, and therapy.
I turn around and look at the critic.
Oh. You again?
Yeah. It’s me. You still suck. You’re terrible.
Ah, my dear. Let me hold you.
Let me rock you.
Let me tell you how loved you are.
Let me show you how,
even after all this time,
you are still enough.

Relaxed Awareness

Standard

Relaxing into being,
into acceptance of this moment…
This is not complacency,
it is sanity.
When I resist this moment,
I spend my energy trying to push reality
into my contracted idea of
how things “should” be.
Living this way is painful.
It’s exhausting.
It’s hopeless.
It’s insane.
I’m choosing another way.
I choose to accept this moment.
I care deeply about what is happening,
so I’m not going to accept it in apathy and silence.
No, I will accept this moment consciously,
see it for what it is,
and then decide how I’ll respond,
all from a place of relaxed awareness,
with no attachment to a particular result.
Grateful that this is a practice…
I don’t have to get it right.
I just have to try.
Wish me luck!

Awaken…On Tinder?

Standard

Maybe I should’ve put something like
I’ve lived as a nun for the last three years
on my dating profile…
Maybe it would ward off the men
who think I want to see pictures
of their…ahem…you-know-whats
before I’ve even met them.
I knew there was a reason
I refused to attempt online dating until now!
It’s been 24 hours,
I’ve been graced with the dubious gift
of close up pics
of TWO men’s…(you-know-whats),
and my feminine heart
that yearns for a beautiful, loving man
is disgusted by the crassness,
and the practical single mom in me,
who has only so much time and energy,
says that this online dating stuff
is a serious waste of time.
I mean…
Is it even possible to awaken…on Tinder?

Nourishment

Standard

I allowed myself to be nourished today.
I let myself wake up naturally.
The sun was shining.
I let myself be nourished by my home,
the quiet, the comforts.
I nourished my body with healthy food,
plenty of water,
a good walk outside, sunshine, fresh air.
My heart was nourished by the warmth
of a single mom friend who walked with me.
Back home,
I felt completely uninspired to cook myself dinner.
I ordered in,
paid for some kind soul to cook for me.
This felt like a true luxury
as the food was delivered to my door
and I gave thanks many times as I ate.
I let myself settle into rest
earlier than normal.
It feels so strange to be this well-nourished.
I want this feeling to be more familiar.
God, let deep rest and nourishment
become normal for me.

Good, True, & Sacred

Standard

I wake up and
THE SUN IS SHINING!
I’M ALIVE!
What a gift this day is.
Birds are singing,
breeze is blowing
and I pray to God giving thanks
for this beautiful day.
I give thanks for Divine Guidance,
leading me to create
what I am asked to create,
steering me toward what is
good, and true and sacred.
And on a day like this,
what isn’t good, true and sacred?