I apologize for the tone of my last poem.
Actually, I don’t.
I have raging PMS
and the veil between 3D reality
and the spirit world is thinner
and everything I have been suppressing
in my act to be nice and please everyone
is now coming up of its own volition.
So really, I have no control over it.
And so, if you don’t like it,
you know exactly what you can do.
When you decide to live in the mystery,
nothing is predictable.
One day goes smoothly,
the next full of obstacles.
When you decide to leave the safety of routine
and give your life over to some greater purpose,
only surrender and trust will do.
It is a death of sorts…
familiarity makes way for chaos,
and this is a good thing.
The moment your whole life falls apart,
this is the beginning of your journey
to realizing your fullest destiny.
there are others who have gone before you,
you are not alone.
Take a deep breath,
walk to the edge and jump.
You will grow wings and fly,
you will be caught by some gigantic gentle hands,
or you might be smashed to bits on the rocks below.
Whatever happens, new life awaits…
so don’t wait.
Dive, dive into the mystery,
and see what happens.
There is no losing or winning,
just staying asleep or waking up.
Every time I breathe consciously,
I wake up a little bit more.
I have more available to me in this moment,
more to feel, and see, and touch,
more to embody, embrace and become.
I let the breath move through me.
When I feel a difficult feeling,
I ventilate it, and let it pass through too.
Sometimes I don’t react to the feeling,
I just breathe it.
And I remember
it’s not about losing or winning,
but staying asleep or waking up.
I choose to awaken.
I got upset this morning,
lost it with my kids,
felt guilty and ashamed.
I interpreted this event as a setback.
I spent some time wallowing in shame,
depression, the belief that I haven’t made
any progress at all.
Then I breathed.
Then the wisdom came.
I remembered that I’m human,
I make mistakes,
and now it’s time for a reset.
So I chose for the day to go better
from that point on.
I’m going in to the kids’ classes
for Valentine’s Day;
I’m going to help the kids celebrate,
make crafts, have fun.
I tied up some loose ends at home,
finished some projects that had been waiting.
No more dwelling in upset, in setbacks.
I’ve reset…now it’s time to keep moving forward.
Both of my kids are in bed.
We had a great night;
coaxed them through homework,
they ate a good dinner,
Then we read two chapters
of Prince Caspian
and now they’re in bed.
I’m feeling like a successful
single mother right about now.
It occurred to me
that every second I spend
trying to get him
to give me the money
that is mine by law
is a second I divert my attention
from the mission
of creating my own money
by offering value to the world
doing the things I know how to do best.
I’m choosing to let go.
I was told not to hold my breath
so I’m breathing,
slowly and deeply
and with gratitude
that I can wake up to this moment
and open to being taught.
I’m going to choose my way
instead of having another
humanoid choose for me.
Or better yet,
why don’t I let the power
of the Universe choose for me?
Oh that’s right,
the power of the universe
is within me.
I’m going to gravitate
toward that which feels good,
that which invigorates, renews,
and gives me the experience
of living in the direction of my destiny.
I’m going to trust my intuition to guide me.
I’m going to allow the blossoming,
as naturally as the spring
always returns after winter.