Tag Archives: power

The Same?

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I ask my students to be strong,
to keep their hearts open,
to keep trying even when it’s hard—
can I do the same?
I ask them to breathe deeply,
to not just think about breathing,
but really breathe
can I do the same?
I instruct them in finding a more perfect alignment,
to reach for their strength, their will, their discipline—
can I do the same?
I ask them to relax, let go, surrender,
feel grateful for the nourishment of the earth—
can I do the same?
I ask them for a gentle smile,
a sense of pleasure, of enjoyment,
and especially to love their bodies—
can I do the same?
I ask them to think about leadership,
especially self-leadership,
summoning their courage,
getting out of their comfort bubble,
stepping into their fuller potential,
and providing an example
for others who might look to them—
can I do the same?
I look at this moment as a chance for
co-creation, co-evolution,
communication, collaboration
with anyone who is willing to reach for the light—
will you do the same?

Beloved Fragrance

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I’ve been searching for something out there,
sometimes catching a whiff of its fragrance
in the wind.
It would render me melancholy
to sense it but experience it
so far away,
when my heart longed for this thing
I could not know.
Sometimes it was a rush of cold air
into my nostrils
as I stepped from my grandmother’s house
into the winter night
and I’d search for the star
in the dark blue sky
that told me the light
was returning soon.
For the longest time
I feared the magic and suppressed it
much to my heart’s dismay.
The whole world seemed cold and dark
and I was trapped in a prison
of my own making.
Spirit came to rattle me out of my cage
and throw me into the light of day.
Such a fool I was,
resisting a project of God’s hand.
How can I stop the ocean from surging?
How can I move the sun in the sky?
How can I make the moon glow brightly?
How can I give the gift of new life?
I only experience these things
because consciousness pours through me.
Who made this consciousness,
the perceiver and the perceived?
My body speaks clearly.
Its language is believed.
I trust the longing in me now.
The magic in me swells alive within.
I open the door to the cold and dark everywhere
and catch its beloved fragrance on the wind.

Spirit Pouring Through Us

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The shift happens within.
The thoughts, the beliefs,
the words we tell ourselves
align with who we are.
We believe in the possibility
that our dreams exist now.
We access the power
that bridges the Quantum Field
with 3-D reality.
We breathe, relax, and enjoy
spirit pouring through us.

Repeat

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And then I asked myself
What if I chose to own all of my power?
What would that feel like?
How would I move, breathe,
think, speak and act
inside the awareness
that I was standing fully in my power?
I couldn’t answer the question
from experience,
so I imagined what it would feel like.
Magical.
Exciting.
Dream like.
Unbelievable.
Satisfying.
Amazing.
Hmm, I said to myself,
maybe this would be even better
than I can imagine right now…
What would it take to act as if
I had fully owned my power?
Stand tall.
Breathe deeply.
Move with confidence.
Speak clearly.
Know what I want.
Forgive and move on.
Give thanks.
Celebrate.
Connect.
Share.
Integrate.

Repeat.

 

NaPoWriMo 2018, Day 21: To Narcissus (With Video!)

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What a timely and fitting prompt from NaPoWriMo today!  The invitation is to play with the myth of Narcissus in some way. I’ve always loved Greek mythology, and the tale of Narcissus alway struck me as sad—dying of unrequited love of self.  But now that my husband is out of the house and I’ve had time to really consider the effects on my mind, body and spirit of living eight years with my husband’s pathological narcissim, the tale has become a lot more personal.  Before I realized the nature of our relationship and how damaging his words and actions were to me and my self-esteem in the course of our marriage, I always thought narcissists were annoyingly self-absorbed people whom we love anyway, because everyone deserves love, and we all exhibit degrees of narcissism now and again.  It’s human nature, isn’t it, after all, to become periodically fixated on one’s self, one’s happiness, one’s life path, and the ways and means we go about achieving what we think we need to be fulfilled?  But then I learned about narcissistic abuse—gaslighting, smear campaigns, isolation, criticism, financial abuse, and it came crashing down on me what I had endured during our time together, always trying to help him be happy, always being told that I was the source of his unhappiness.  I realize that I’ve been traumatized by my time with this man, and I internalized a lot of what he told me.  I’m in the process of unpacking the stories and sifting through my inner landscape to find some ground and some truth about myself. Yes, today’s prompt is timely.  Here goes.

*************
Poor boy, you fell so deeply in love
with what you believed to be true about yourself,
you wasted away into a dream and died.
The one I thought I knew was a phantom,
haunting the pool that claimed your life.
I tried to save you but you were already dead,
and as real as you seemed, you were just an apparition,
a poltergeist, making lots of noise, breaking things,
howling like a ghoul, frightening me,
recruiting me into this fantasy of living
as you drew me nearer and nearer
to your realm of death.
You nearly took me too,
so invested was I in resurrecting you
that I began to deny my very Self
and all of her needs.
But the spring came, and with it my own resurrection.
I saw my spirit come to life and resist the chains
you attempted to throw around me.
They were just a mirage, like the rest of you;
loud, messy, impressive,
but without any weight or strength,
substanceless, like your love, like your life,
like your work, like all of you.
Rest in peace, fair Narcissus.
I’m going back to the realm of the living now.
I’ll visit you each spring,
lay a flower on your grave,
pay my respects,
but know this:
You cannot hurt me any more.
You are nothing to me now.
Nothing more
than the whispers of wind
that caress my cheek,
reminding me of the long life I have left to live.

No More Waiting

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I was waiting for an apology from him,
an expression of guilt and remorse;
it hasn’t come yet,
and it probably never will.
I was waiting for him to do the right thing,
to acknowledge his role,
to make things right,
but it sure doesn’t look that this will happen either.
I was hoping he’d awaken,
hoping he’d zoom out and look in
and see how his behavior
has been egregiously unfair—
he hasn’t awakened, and my hope
is turning to hopelessness.
The moral is,
focusing on the other
and hoping they will change
(when they don’t want to and aren’t capable)
will only lead to sadness, frustration and despair.
I’ve decided that I’m not going to wait anymore.
I’m going to move forward in autonomy,
thanking him for my freedom.