Tag Archives: presence

A Dream is Enough

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The quote above is from Deida’s book The Way of the Superior Man

After being told for so long
by the one I had pledged to love
that there was something wrong with me,
that I was good for nothing,
lazy, selfish, irresponsible,
and at the cause of all
our collective misfortunes,
it goes without saying
that it feels quite refreshing to be alone.
Without all of the noise,
the criticism, the discouragement,
the manipulation, the control
and—let’s be plain—the abuse,
I can finally begin
to tease apart the threads of the veil
that had been woven around
my eyes, my mind, my body, my heart.
I can finally begin to discern
what is real and true for me,
who I really am.
As I learn to exist in this new reality
and heal my bruises and tend to my wounds,
I feel myself growing stronger, more sure
of the good that surrounds me,
the good within me.
As I connect with and exist inside this good,
I allow myself to dream about what is possible.
I dream about deep, intimate connection
first with myself,
and then, one day, with another.
I dream about a man
who is aware of his presence,
who sees his depth of awareness
as his most valuable asset.
I dream about myself
standing in my power and grace with this man,
who wants to honor me with his strength,
as I honor him with my devotion.
For now it is a dream.
For now, a dream is enough.

Become Peace

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I’m just wondering
when the day will come
that not one shred of anxiety
disturbs my peace,
from the time I wake up in the morning,
until the time I lay my head down at night.
How do I cultivate
unshakable peace?
How can I remember to breathe
slowly and deeply
all throughout the day
(and not just for the 30 minutes of morning meditation)?
How do I take the meditation with me,
so that I don’t just practice peace,
but I become peace?

Pure, Radiant Innocence

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And what if, suddenly,
I let go of who I thought I was,
and made space
to see and feel and know myself
as I am right now?
If I let go of the anger,
the sadness, the blame,
the shame, the grief,
and the regret,
what would be left of me?
If I could stop using my intellect
to operate on reality,
if I could stop using my
past to define my present,
who would I be?
Today, may I be aware
of awareness.
May I walk in this world
as one who can
see with new eyes,
hear with new ears,
and love with a new heart,
free of the prison
of past conditioning.
May I step out of the cage
of my old ideas,
ready to meet this moment
in its purest, most radiant
innocence.

All Ecstasy

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It doesn’t take long
when you’re willing.
If you can just sit,
and feel, and breathe,
if you can just be present,
if you can listen,
and see,
if you can be open,
and allow…
The whole Universe
will offer itself completely to you
like the lover
who has been waiting
forever
for you to wake up
out of a coma,
and who is just
so damn excited
to see you alive again…
it’s all ecstasy
from here on out.

Through Me

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Ah…I have some time and space to myself
and the presence of mind to feel grateful for it.
The autumn wind blows.
I can hear the windchime just outside my door.
Its ringing says, Now. Now. Now. Now.
A part of me wants to check out and go back to sleep.
A part of me wants to stay awake and be productive.
A part of me knows my body is hungry.
A part of me doesn’t want to bother stopping to eat.
What should I do?
The autumn wind blows.
The wind chime keeps ringing Now. Now. Now. Now.
Maybe I’ll just step outside
and let the wind caress my hair, my face.
I don’t need to think about what’s next;
I can flow through this moment
and appreciate what it offers.
When my mind isn’t cluttered with
what I should do,
I can enjoy life being done through me.

Heaven On Earth

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A day of pleasure,
languidly moving
from one thing to the next
Breakfast with kids
then long meditation
a shower
therapy
lunch
a walk in the warm autumn woods
sitting and reading by the stream
home again,
some preparation to take kids out
for playground and picnic
then ten minutes of restorative yoga
Now, kids about to get off the bus
and I feel calm and happy.
This day is heaven on earth.

Nothing to Forgive

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This is healing:
It goes in spirals,
rarely in a straight line,
takes steps, hops and leaps,
sometimes goes so slowly it aches,
wondering how long
it will feel this way,
wanting it to change,
wanting to be different,
asking for patience
when thoughts stay the same
day after day after day.
Hoping for little changes,
giving thanks for what is here,
giving thanks for love, for life.
This is courage:
taking one more breath
when you question
the reason for your being here,
and when nothing seems
good enough to keep you here,
when you want to get away from yourself,
from everything,
when you want to escape
everything that ails you
and you believe
that nothing will help you,
and when you think
becoming nothing
would mean everything to you,
taking one more breath,
and deciding to stay,
you breathe again.
This is grace:
Letting the tears flow
until you’ve been washed clean
of the pain and sorrow
that you have carried
for longer than anyone
ever should have,
awakening from trance
and realizing
the poison and the antidote
always exist side by side,
opening your eyes,
for just a moment,
bearing witness
to the most incredible miracle
of presence,
seeing the flow of existence,
remembering there is nothing to fear,
there is nothing to forgive.

 

 

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giving thanks for love, for life,
you breathe again.
there is nothing to forgive.