Tag Archives: presence

Through Me

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Ah…I have some time and space to myself
and the presence of mind to feel grateful for it.
The autumn wind blows.
I can hear the windchime just outside my door.
Its ringing says, Now. Now. Now. Now.
A part of me wants to check out and go back to sleep.
A part of me wants to stay awake and be productive.
A part of me knows my body is hungry.
A part of me doesn’t want to bother stopping to eat.
What should I do?
The autumn wind blows.
The wind chime keeps ringing Now. Now. Now. Now.
Maybe I’ll just step outside
and let the wind caress my hair, my face.
I don’t need to think about what’s next;
I can flow through this moment
and appreciate what it offers.
When my mind isn’t cluttered with
what I should do,
I can enjoy life being done through me.

Heaven On Earth

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A day of pleasure,
languidly moving
from one thing to the next
Breakfast with kids
then long meditation
a shower
therapy
lunch
a walk in the warm autumn woods
sitting and reading by the stream
home again,
some preparation to take kids out
for playground and picnic
then ten minutes of restorative yoga
Now, kids about to get off the bus
and I feel calm and happy.
This day is heaven on earth.

Nothing to Forgive

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This is healing:
It goes in spirals,
rarely in a straight line,
takes steps, hops and leaps,
sometimes goes so slowly it aches,
wondering how long
it will feel this way,
wanting it to change,
wanting to be different,
asking for patience
when thoughts stay the same
day after day after day.
Hoping for little changes,
giving thanks for what is here,
giving thanks for love, for life.
This is courage:
taking one more breath
when you question
the reason for your being here,
and when nothing seems
good enough to keep you here,
when you want to get away from yourself,
from everything,
when you want to escape
everything that ails you
and you believe
that nothing will help you,
and when you think
becoming nothing
would mean everything to you,
taking one more breath,
and deciding to stay,
you breathe again.
This is grace:
Letting the tears flow
until you’ve been washed clean
of the pain and sorrow
that you have carried
for longer than anyone
ever should have,
awakening from trance
and realizing
the poison and the antidote
always exist side by side,
opening your eyes,
for just a moment,
bearing witness
to the most incredible miracle
of presence,
seeing the flow of existence,
remembering there is nothing to fear,
there is nothing to forgive.

 

 

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giving thanks for love, for life,
you breathe again.
there is nothing to forgive.

Slow Down

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Slow down,
let it flow.
Feel more,
let it go.
Sometimes the hurry
leads to a flurry
of neurotic tendencies,
disappointment
at productivity lost.
When you slow down,
you see more,
you hear more,
you are present.
When you know
why you’re doing
what you’re doing,
it informs the how.
Slow down
and be purposeful.
Time doesn’t matter
when you’re living
from your essence.

Circles of Quiet Joy

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I search everywhere for a gift,
just something, something
so that I don’t show up
empty-handed.
Then I remember
the real gift cannot be given
or taken away.
The real gift
comes from
an inextinguishable source.
The real gift
doesn’t change hands,
it changes hearts.
We all have this gift,
and if we could really see it,
we wouldn’t
be running frantically to the store…
We’d sit in circles
of quiet joy,
the light of infinity
mirrored in one another’s eyes.

Just This Once

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I discover that
when I breathe more
I enjoy life more.
I relax,
my body feels good,
I have energy.
I’ve been working on
establishing a deep, slow,
steady breath
for years now and
I know that it feels good
when I breathe consciously.
So the work becomes
remembering to breathe
during the day.
Thank you, oh mind,
for giving me the gift
of conscious breathing
in this moment.
Thank you for waking up from the trance
long enough to remember
to breathe just this once.

Accountable For Presence

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Reality check.
I begin to discover
to what degree I’m still waiting
for the rest of my life to begin.
Once he moves out
and the separation begins…
Once I have a steady income
and I don’t need his help…
Once my heart heals from the loss…
Once I start to believe in myself…
Once I am able to live a more creative,
a more joyful, a more liberated existence…

And I sit here, wondering how long
I will defer my happiness
waiting for something besides
what I already have
in this one moment.
I look for the wisdom
in loving what is.
I search for the courage necessary
to hold myself accountable
for such presence.