Tag Archives: present moment awareness

I’ll Listen to that One

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When I’ve been pushing and pushing and pushing,

hustling,

going everywhere,

doing everything,

bouncing around like a ping-pong ball,

At some point my body says

Stop.

I’ve reached that point.

My body is saying

Stop. Slow Down. Pause. Rest.

And yet I keep going.

It’s catching up with me.

I feel exhausted.

I want to rest,

but the children need to eat breakfast

and get on the school bus.

I drag myself out of bed;

I’m praying

God be with me. Have mercy. God be with me.

The doomsday prophet in my head says

It will always be like this.

The child in my head says

This isn’t fair.

My body keeps repeating

Stop. Stop. Stop.

It’s getting louder.

And I’m wondering when I’ll get the hang

of single parenting, really.

Some other voice says

Just one day at a time, darling,

just one step at a time.

I think I’ll listen to that voice.

What Do I Need?

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If I suddenly dis-identified myself with my pain,
how would I show up in the moment?
If I no longer believed the stories told to me
or the labels I’ve been branded with,
who would I be, right now?
If I could no longer see myself
as the victim of my past circumstances,
how would I relate to this present experience?
I keep praying. I keep saying aloud,
I’m ready to let go of the past.
I’m ready to feel beyond my pain.
I ready to know who I really am.

And yet the old story persists.
What do I need to do to be free?

Beautiful Present

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Ahhhhh….awake early, before six.

A quiet meditation, prayer and song.

A gorgeous walk along the canal,

the river lower than I’ve ever seen it,

revealing water-carved stones,

jagged edges smoothed

by the relentless flow of life.

Breakfast, reheated leftovers

from last night’s dinner—delicious.

Then energy work.

Then a second breakfast…

Perfectly easy to peel hard-boiled eggs,

tea, berries.

Then drum circle,

and I was moved nearly to tears

to sit with these beloveds

and share a moment together,

Connecting through rhythm

and the space between the pulses

of our drum beats, our heart beats.

Then lunch, ahh…nourishment.

When I taught my yoga classes

it felt like such a privilege,

so sacred to witness these beings

finding center, finding stillness, breathing…

And then a beautiful snack with tea

in the afternoon sun,

and I think my heart might burst

at the light kissing all the leaves golden,

and the crispness of the air

and the blueness of the sky

and the openness of my mind

finally coming home,

finally coming home

to rest in this beautiful present moment.

My Work

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I love how it doesn’t matter how much
I’ve attempted to stay present but failed miserably…
I love that no matter how many times my mind
hijacked my consciousness with thoughts of the past
or thoughts of the future,
the present always holds me.
I always am here.
I always am now.
My work is to know this deeply,
integrating awareness of the present moment
through bodily sensations,
through breath,
through the intention to be of service.
I see the perfection of my journey,
how all experiences led me to this moment.
All I can feel now…
…is gratitude.

When It’s Time

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Up late getting ready.
Big day. Big weekend.
Today I taught three yoga classes.
Tomorrow I’ll teach three classes,
then I’ll lead a five hour training.
I made eye pillows to give the participants,
as well as training manuals
so that they can take the information with them.
I made a kale and quinoa salad
for our working dinner tomorrow.
All in all, it will be a twelve hour day…
Sunday I’ll teach three more classes.
And somehow, somehow,
I am to find the time and stamina
to PACK MY HOUSE
BECAUSE IT’S TIME TO MOVE.
I decided it’s not time to freak out.
Freaking out is an old, outworn habit,
and it really serves no purpose.
Instead, I’m choosing presence.
I’m showing up inside each moment,
clear on what the moment is calling for,
and doing that.
When it’s time to teach, I’ll teach.
When it’s time to eat, I’ll eat.
When it’s time to pack, I’ll pack.
When it’s time to move, I’ll move.
And when it’s time to rest, I’ll rest.
I am so grateful to have been brought to this simple place,
where I no longer need to chastize myself
for what I didn’t do sooner
(that’s hopeless).
In this simple place,
I see what needs to be done,
and I do that.
There is so much peace in the present moment.