Tag Archives: questions

Falling

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Falling into an abyss,
powerless to slow the fall,
grasping for something
to give me a sense of
here, now,
but there’s nothing,
nothing to hold onto.
I look inside,
but the darkness there
is darker than the darkest night.
Everywhere I look
the darkness clouds
this experience of life.
Clearly it’s time for a change…
I can hear you tell me that this is all my fault.
I can hear you blaming me for everything that’s wrong.
And still I miss our togetherness,
the intimate moments we shared,
just for us.
When will this sick mind heal,
this mind that longs for the very thing
that wounded it?
As I continue to fall,
I keep wondering
Will someone eventually catch me?
Will I grow wings and fly?
Will I smash into a million pieces at the bottom?

Inside My Heart

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I want to forgive you.
I know my pain is holding me back,
and I know that my sadness
was never your fault.
I gave you too much power.
I wanted you to be my redeemer.
And after a while,
you were no longer my lover,
or my partner, or my best friend.
We fell apart…
and it is no one’s fault.
But how to move forward,
when the pain of loss
burns so brightly, still,
inside my heart?

The One Source

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The path of grace is elusive,
like the path of healing,
or the path of awakening…
You can’t find IT…
You must let IT find you.
And maybe,
could it be
that grace
and healing
and awakening
are all intertwined,
or better yet,
flowing from the same source?
What if all those
going in search of anything
finally recognized
that we are all seeking
the same thing?
What if we all finally took a moment
to just sit still, and breathe,
and remember
the One Source of Everything?

The Desired Outcome

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What is the desired outcome?
I want to move forward.
Yes, of course, but…
What is the desired outcome?
I want to be self-supporting.
Yes, yes, yes, we know! But…
What is the desired outcome?
Healing from heartache,
forgiving everyone,
creating something wonderful.

Of course that’s what you want, but…
What is the desired outcome?
Um, I don’t know?
Yes you do. C’mon—
what is the desired outcome?

What You Left Behind

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You never cared about my words before,
but now, suddenly, you do?
You think you can use them to hurt me?
The joke’s on you.
If you’re going to read them,
you might as well know,
that I will love you always,
although not as before.
You share a bed with another now…
Do her eyes meet yours with equal intensity?
Will she be there for you if you fall?
Does she love your family like I still do?
Will she hold your nieces and nephews 
in her heart, will she look into their eyes?
Will she make you pajamas too?
Will she make your bed?
Will she wash your clothes?
Will she scoop the litter box?
Will she bring you tall glasses of ice water
in the summertime
when you’re outside doing yard work?
Will she stand up to you
when you try to force your hand?
Or will she just drink and watch TV with you?
Enjoy a rock concert or two,
a fancy dinner, a fancy vacation,
just her and you…
That’s what you wanted, yes?
Another you, with longer hair
and a female body
to help you forget
what you left behind.



Perfect Revelation

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For so long
I have seen my sadness as the enemy,
a sign that something
wasn’t working in my life.
And now, with this new perspective,
I’m being told that my sadness is a friend,
a sign that Life
is working through me
to transform me,
to peel away the excess
and reveal the essence of who I am.
I guess all of my prayers
and my hours of meditation
were really me trying to be good enough
to gain some leverage
and negotiate with God.
What if there were no escape?
What if this was all meant to be,
and what if all the answers
to all my questions
were locked up inside me,
waiting for me to accept
the initiation that will open
my consciousness to their
perfect revelation?

An Abundant Day

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I asked about abundance,
and I awoke certain of who I am.
I showed up at the school,
had a meeting with the principal
regarding my daughter.
My husband was there too,
and it felt good to be a team again,
in a co-parenting sort of way.
Back home I read an article about pleasure
and how to live a more pleasurable life.
I followed the guidance in the article
and chose to live the day in pleasure;
I decided to feel really, really good.
Afterwards I took a nap.
I woke up, had lunch,
ate a good meal.
I saw my therapist,
talked about turning a corner.
I got my kids off the bus
and we went for
an autumnal walk in the forest.
So much beauty everywhere!
We had dinner out
and the food arrived quickly;
It felt good to be nourished,
to be the recipient of so much good.
Back home my kids are reading,
and I’m writing about a beautiful day.
I see abundance as existing everywhere,
all the time.
It’s an inner state,
a mindset of plenty,
a feeling of gratitude
warming the heart.
Today I walked in wealth,
and tonight I go to sleep in thanks.

 

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨
Now, Spirit, I want to know about doing good work.