Dear Spammy Followers,
I think you may account for close to half of the readers who purportedly “follow” my blog, so I figure addressing the elephant in the room is in order. I’m just wondering if you actually read my posts or if you’re hoping to draw more people into your get rich quick schemes via my readership. These days, every time I get an email saying I have another follower, I’m assuming it’s another person trying to entice me into watching their video or signing up for their newsletter, letting me know that I’m just a few steps away from making six figures a month and living the lifestyle I’ve always dreamed about. I have read so many times that the blogging platform is a great place to build a lucrative internet business, and all it takes is a computer, wifi access, and the will to succeed.
I’ve scrolled through pictures of young adults smiling vibrantly on yachts in some amazing looking tropical places surrounded by gorgeous blue water, and I’ve thought to myself, “Really?” You’re really expecting me to believe that if I watch your videos/subscribe to your newsletter/click on your link that somehow I’ll gain the information necessary to become an internet entrepreneur like you supposedly are–and with as little as four hours per week spent working, I’ll be generating enough income from home to support my entire family, living and traveling wherever the heck I want in the world?
I mean, really? Call me old school, but I was taught that if something sounds too good to be true, it usually is. I was taught that people who talk about getting rich quick are usually trying to sell me something, and getting rich quickly really doesn’t ever happen unless you win the lottery. I was also taught that hard work builds character, and have experienced this firsthand.
In the end, I don’t want you to follow me, spammy followers. I’d rather have just two people who actually read my posts every once in a while than a thousand people who pretend to follow me but are really just trolling around looking for more people to rope into believing their impossible claims about internet marketing. I don’t mean to sound bitter, but sheesh…we all only have so many hours in a day. I find it hard to believe that you can make room in your day for reading about all the things I choose to write about in my normal little hardworking human life. I’m feeling suspicious about your subscribing to my blog. And I won’t be one of the ones clicking on the link to your about page and writing, “Great site! Inspirational content. Thanks for the follow!” I’m not feeling grateful for the follow, and I won’t be thanking you for it, because I don’t think you’re really following me.
Therefore, spammy followers, you can unfollow me. Potential spammy followers: Please don’t bother following me! No hard feelings, I just don’t want to have more spam to sift through in my email’s inbox, thank you very much.
And to my flesh and blood, real live human being followers–even if you just casually catch a post every now and again–thank you for reading, from the bottom of my heart.
If anyone actually reads my posts every day, WOW, hats off to you! I hope some of my words are inspiring, or funny, or something. At times my writing seems so drab to me that I’m amazed I have any followers at all. So thank you truly for taking the time to read about this human’s life and thoughts and feelings and experiences. Thank you. Thank you.