I have this power to choose and I choose freedom. I choose to see how inextricably connected I am with All That Is and to communicate deeply with consciousness as it presents itself in the present moment. I choose to surrender into being to dissolve the illusion of confinement within me so that I can truly experience the ultimate freedom. I let go of my definition of this moment. What arrives is truth, reality, the freedom to be exactly who I am, accepting my humanity, in love with life the way it is…
Without any words to define you, who would you be? How would you describe yourself? Without any past to regret, without any future to long for, who would you be right now? If we drop the ideas about reality and dive straight into this one moment we can live what is here, now. Awakening is closer than you think.
I was sifting through mountains of papers looking for something. One of the mountains shifted, sending an avalanche to the floor. And then in the next second, another avalanche. And I said, Okay, me too. So I fell to the floor, lay down on my back, stared up at the track lighting on my ceiling. Here we all are, on the floor. Now what? I felt my body was tired. I didn’t want to search anymore. I knew that whatever it was, either it would turn up, or I would replace it. So I went upstairs, and I got in bed, and had dreams about mountains and avalanches.
Just stay present. Everything is okay, here, now. Just stay present. There are no problems in this moment. Just stay present. Freedom from suffering is possible now. Just stay present. Your true home, right now.
You can’t heal what you can’t feel… and so my biggest task has been just allowing the feelings to rise, to be seen, acknowledged, embraced, and finally felt. For a long time I attempted to deny my feelings, because they appeared too painful to accept, and I was afraid of what might happen if I allowed the tidal wave to crash over me. It turns out that I was giving my attention to my fear of the difficult feelings rather than to the feelings themselves. The fear made it all seem so much worse that it really was. Once I peeled back all my layers of distraction, denial and defense and exposed my tender heart to myself, I saw that there was nothing to fear. As the grief came up, the doubt, the self-blame, the regret, the anger, the loneliness, the abandonment, the resistance and all the others emerged as a procession, one by one, to be fully received and welcomed by me. As I allowed these feelings to flow through, I sensed underneath them my resilience, my strength, and finally my hope for new feelings to arrive once I’ve made enough room for them by letting the old feelings go…
I can’t know what’s next; I can only know what’s now. I’m not sure how much of me is really here to look deeply into what is. I wonder how much of me is truly available to receive this present. I keep practicing. One day, I might awaken to what I already knew long ago before the world taught me about past and future.
Nothing is ever still. Even window glass is liquid, although it flows at a pace far too slow for our eyes to detect. And our eyes… they only see certain wavelengths of light. Our ears… they only hear certain frequencies of sound. When I remember that I simply do not have the faculties to grasp the inifinite nature of what is really happening, I can deep a breath, take a step back, and recognize that the thing I call a “problem” is just another play of phenomena in this ever changing world of form. As I relax around the many plays of form, I can tune into what is formless in me. And then…I’m home.