Tag Archives: reality

Relaxed Awareness

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Relaxing into being,
into acceptance of this moment…
This is not complacency,
it is sanity.
When I resist this moment,
I spend my energy trying to push reality
into my contracted idea of
how things “should” be.
Living this way is painful.
It’s exhausting.
It’s hopeless.
It’s insane.
I’m choosing another way.
I choose to accept this moment.
I care deeply about what is happening,
so I’m not going to accept it in apathy and silence.
No, I will accept this moment consciously,
see it for what it is,
and then decide how I’ll respond,
all from a place of relaxed awareness,
with no attachment to a particular result.
Grateful that this is a practice…
I don’t have to get it right.
I just have to try.
Wish me luck!

Such A Beautiful Place

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If I can drop a little deeper
below the surface of the mind
that is always problem-solving
and strategizing,
I arrive at a place where all is well.
Don’t get me wrong,
the world is still the world,
and there is still a Pandemic happening,
there are still bills to be paid
and an ex-husband to negotiate with
and a house to clean
and meals to prepare
and laundry to be done.
There is still a heart that yearns open
for a beautiful partner to share love with.
There is still the feeling of vulnerability
that comes with such deep sharing,
and the fear that I will never be met
the way I long to be met.
There is still the exhaustion one feels
being the only adult in the house
with two very active children
who still don’t know
how to pick up after themselves.
Yes, all of these things still exist,
as I am a human woman
living on this earth.
But if I can drop a little deeper
below the surface of the mind
that is always problem-solving
and strategizing,
I arrive at a place where all is well.
It is such a beautiful place.
And this is why I practice.

A Nice Ring

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The ground is shifting constantly,
never the same,
so how can I build anything right now?
Maybe it’s time to let things fall apart,
and see what’s left
after the winds of change blow through.
I’d like to have some kind of plan,
a goal, a vision,
something that helps me feel like there’s a future
and I have some control over the outcome…
But this is a war humans have been fighting
since they knew they could fight
and where has it gotten us?
Maybe I’m better off simply breathing
and allowing myself to be right here, right now.
Breathing and being.
Yeah. That has a nice ring to it.

Craving the Routine

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After all this time practicing presence,
all this work appreciating possibility,
all this meditation on realizing my potential,
I recognize that I’m just as attached
to my carefully crated reality
as everyone else.
When faced with the loss of everything familiar,
I can’t help but panic, mourn, grieve.
It’s humbling to admit
after saying so many times
I wanted my life to change
that now all I am I doing is
craving the routine.

Unanswered Prayers

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Some part of me keeps waiting
for the magic wand to be waved
or some swtich to be flipped
or some magical incantation uttered…
and then
suddenly
My whole life is fixed…
But I’ve been around long enough
to know that life doesn’t work like this.
Which is a good thing, come to think of it,
because how many times have I been grateful
for unanswered prayers?

Gratitude, Day 33 of 48: Freedom

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I have this power to choose
and I choose freedom.
I choose to see how inextricably connected
I am with All That Is
and to communicate deeply with consciousness
as it presents itself in the present moment.
I choose to surrender into being
to dissolve the illusion of confinement within me
so that I can truly experience the ultimate freedom.
I let go of my definition of this moment.
What arrives is truth, reality, the freedom to be
exactly who I am, accepting my humanity,
in love with life the way it is…

Mountains and Avalanches

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I was sifting through
mountains of papers
looking for something.
One of the mountains shifted,
sending an avalanche to the floor.
And then in the next second,
another avalanche.
And I said,
Okay, me too.
So I fell to the floor,
lay down on my back,
stared up at the track lighting
on my ceiling.
Here we all are, on the floor.
Now what?
I felt my body was tired.
I didn’t want to search anymore.
I knew that whatever it was,
either it would turn up,
or I would replace it.
So I went upstairs,
and I got in bed,
and had dreams
about mountains and avalanches.