When you’re 42 years old
with two young children,
celibate for the last two years,
yearning for human contact
but trusting no one…
When there’s just $35 in your checking account…
and your AC has been broken for two weeks
and there’s a wiring problem in your house
necessitating running extension cords
from your refrigerator and freezer
to outlets in another room…
When you’re feeling
tired, angry, and lonely,
but you’ve made a commitment to sobriety
to try to claw your way out
of this pit you’ve fallen into…
When the only direction you can go is up,
but you’re so damn depressed that breathing feels hard—
HOW DO YOU FIND THE STRENGTH TO CLIMB?
Friends, that last question is not rhetorical. I quite literally want to know how YOU, you who have made it through tough circumstances and who have come out stronger, how YOU did it. I need some hope. Please share your experience, strength and hope with me.
Ready for life now.
Like the spring,
jumping up now,
trees that were pink
two days ago
are now green.
Everything is changing,
and I am part of that change.
my petals will scatter,
my leaves will be green too,
stirred in the breeze
giving music to all the trees.
Now just breathe,
You are spring too.
song of life
from every angle
there is suddenly
so much spring
I think I might
lose my head.
It doesn’t matter how much the winter kills you,
and how dead you are by the end of it,
how pale, how lifeless, how skeletal,
how deeply and quietly you lie
beneath the frozen surface of the earth—
when spring comes,
there is this perennial, irresistible force in you,
that wakes up,
and sighs with the joy and the delight
of living and blossoming,
of rekindling the vital movement
of air in lungs
and blood in veins
and power in voice.
come alive again.
Spring is here,
and it’s time to come out of hiding.
it’s time to live again,
so wake up,
and join me in the garden.
Let’s tend to one another’s blossoming
and celebrate what we grow
in the light of our love and joy.
What causes the autumn wind
to rush through the forest
stirring the leaves,
breaking their fragile connection
to the spent moments of yesterday,
that they might flutter down to the earth
and experience new life in their death and decay?
It is in their letting go of the past
that they receive the promise of this new moment.
They cannot hold their form in death;
it melts away and feeds new life,
and this is the way of all things.
In the autumn of your life,
can you turn to look
at how you’ve been nourished by the Tree of Life?
Can you gracefully surrender the diversions of youth,
breaking free of your bonds, fluttering down,
allowing your form to be used by the earth,
making way for the promise of what will come?
Ah, how Grace does swoop in
with so many blessings
when my heart is open
and my mind relaxed.
I let the old Lorien die—
the Lorien who was attached
to her stories of her woundedness,
beliefs in deficiency,
resentment toward her imagined oppressors—
I let that Lorien die.
The new Lorien who emerged
was willing to put more attention on her future
than the old Lorien was putting on her past.
This new Lorien was excited to know her power.
She longed for more and believed she was worthy
of the good life had in store for her.
In this place of faith and confidence
And how it has swept into my life
with so many blessings
now that my heart is open
and my mind relaxed.
It arrives slowly,
so slowly I question
if what I’m feeling is real.
But then it begins to build
until the feeling is so present,
that I can no longer deny it.
It’s a mixture of hope, of lightness,
of real pleasure, joy, relief
that things are changing,
After this harrowing, hellish time,
I emerge from the cave
of the deepest, darkest sadness I have known.
I stand naked, blinking in the bright light,
an infant newly born
into the life I was meant to live…
Old Lady Hyacinth is past her prime
but she is wise and didn’t mind
Little Miss Sweet Baby Alyssum stepping in
and putting on airs with all her outrageous friends:
And whew! Are those young ‘uns
loud and ostentatious and maybe a little obnoxious
as young’uns often are.
But did she mind?
No, Old Lady Hyacinth didn’t mind.
In fact in her wisdom she said,
Come children, while I’m still here,
I’ll shelter you from the harsh sun
so that you may grow and become established.
I’ll make your first days here gentle and sweet.
But in truth, she knows
the joke’s on all of those little annuals:
come autumn’s frost, they’ll be goners,
all traces of them lost to winter’s scouring
and come next spring,
Hyacinth will be born again,
in the soil rendered rich by
the youngsters’ withering.