Oh my mind,
why so sour today?
You’d be sour, too,
if you were expected
to figure this mess out.
You don’t have to figure this out.
Who told you that you did?
Well, you aren’t figuring it out yourself,
and someone has to do it.
Oh, sweetheart, just breathe and rest.
There isn’t anything to be figured out.
Just breathe and rest.
I am so tired
I feel it in my bones.
I’d love some energy for me
now that day is done,
time to write, to think,
to dream about what is to come.
But with kids in bed
I’m so out of my head tired
all I have the energy to do
is brush my teeth
and get to bed myself.
What a party animal I’ve become!
This is when the old thoughts return,
and I have to fight
to keep them from taking hold again.
I pray for rest, for blessed
for tomorrow is coming soon
and I have promises to keep.
For a few days
I step away from the routine.
I sleep differently,
move my body in different ways.
I’m intentional with my time;
choosing only those activities
that deepen my connection with Spirit.
It’s a sacred time,
a prayerful time,
a time filled with infinite possibilities.
I dream that all sentient beings
may take such time for themselves.
As we retreat from the world outside,
we return to the home within.
No better welcome could ever be found
than the homecoming provided
by the One
who stands at the door of your heart
for your arrival.
Woke up sick…
I’m wondering how to be well,
even when I feel like this.
I have my kids,
it’s summer vacation.
I would’ve preferred
to be a fun energetic mom,
you don’t always get what you want.
Can I drop the guilt at the increased TV time for them,
so that I can have increased rest time for me?
I guess I’m going to have to.
Guilt won’t make me well.
Only love, acceptance and time will.
I dove even deeper inside myself today.
The children were at school;
they’d be with their dad tonight,
and I had nowhere else to go.
I slowed down.
I listened to music.
I weeded my flower garden,
took out the recycling,
I let go of what I no longer need
so that I can welcome what I really want
into my life.
I took a long hot bath.
I took a nap.
I heard him tell me
in the echo of my memory
You’re just a squatter;
you don’t own that house.
I snuggled in deeper under the covers
and I slept more.
Yes, at some point
I’ll have to figure myself and my life out.
At some point
I’ll most likely need to make some money
to support myself and my children
after all this time.
But it wasn’t today.
Today was for slowing down
and going deeper.
Hello, from the deep.
there’s no problem to be solved.
it’s just the way it is.
the best medicine
is a good night of sleep.
I remember to take that medicine.
Sometimes is right now.
And like that, peace returns to my heart.
One could argue it never left,
but try to explain that
to a weary soul at 2:30 am
full of fear, heart bruised by loss.
But the dark night passed,
and the sun rose,
and the day marched on,
and I got done what needed to be done.
I was blessed by sleep and connection,
beloveds appearing with smiles,
open minds, open hearts,
and the desire to really, truly help.
Yes, the peace never left but in my mind.
It sure is wonderful to discover
peace was there all along.