I hope you’re faring well
now that we have slowed down a little
and allowed you a chance to recoup your strength a bit.
It must be hard with so many of us human children running
all over you pretty constantly
with no thought to how your plant children
and animal children and mineral children
are affected by us screaming human toddlers over here.
I’m going to bet this is your favorite Name day in years,
now that the dolphins have returned
and the turtles have returned
and the air is cleaner
and countless other places on your beautiful body
have had a chance to rest and heal.
Mother, thank you.
Thank you for your support all these years.
Thank you for this life, this breath,
all of these opportunities to move and be and express
the fullness of who we are.
Mother, I pray that when this strange time
your human children are going through right now is over,
we’ll remember what really matters,
and take you into account when we make our decisions.
But I know that you love us no matter what,
and you’ll do what you have to do
to teach us what we need to learn,
as all good mothers do.
Just One of Your Many Human Children
PS You’re so beautiful and I love you!
I’ve had this lingering cold since September,
finally went to the doctor yesterday;
she wants me to squirt stuff up my nose,
gargle with salt water, and rest.
I’m tired of feeling draggy,
tired of living surrounded by boxes,
tired of being tired.
So today, I rested.
And it’s nuts what the voices in my head tell me.
Don’t be lazy.
It’s not so bad.
Look at your house! It’s deplorable.
You should be ashamed of yourself!
My overworking made me sick.
And now I’m trying to get better…
but somehow I’m not allowed
to do the things that will help me get better?
Another voice speaks.
Discern the voice of truth.
Listen a little more deeply.
Hear the song of being.
Let yourself heal.
Slowing down, taking time…
Body run down
says Stop. Rest.
I rest as much as I can
in between classes.
It would be so easy to blame.
To go back into victim mode
and complain about the upheaval.
But that’s not congruent with who I am.
Who I am is strong.
Who I am is loving.
Who I am is resourceful, creative, inspired.
Who I am is kind.
So instead of looking out and blaming,
I look in and ask,
What can be done now?
My body says Rest.
I listen. I rest.
It’s time to retire to a quieter place;
my body aches from the work I’ve done
and I need some time to recover.
My plan is to slow down, rest.
When I awaken
I’ll face the mess.
Bit by bit I’ll keep what matters
and let go everything else.
Possessions, relationships, thoughts, behaviors,
it’s time to look at all of it and choose.
I began the day in prayer,
turning it over,
asking God for guidance.
I felt good, knowing
everything would be ok.
The morning sun
gilded every leaf on the trees outside my window
and the autumn sky was a powdery blue
so soft it nearly broke my heart.
I moved and moved and moved more stuff
from my old house into my new.
I worked and worked and worked.
By evening my mind was worn,
my temper was hot
and I didn’t want to do one more thing for anybody.
Then I wondered if the struggle between good and evil,
darkness and light,
was really a stuggle between
the fresh mind of a person newly awakened
and the tired mind of a person ready for sleep…
Oh my mind,
why so sour today?
You’d be sour, too,
if you were expected
to figure this mess out.
You don’t have to figure this out.
Who told you that you did?
Well, you aren’t figuring it out yourself,
and someone has to do it.
Oh, sweetheart, just breathe and rest.
There isn’t anything to be figured out.
Just breathe and rest.
I am so tired
I feel it in my bones.
I’d love some energy for me
now that day is done,
time to write, to think,
to dream about what is to come.
But with kids in bed
I’m so out of my head tired
all I have the energy to do
is brush my teeth
and get to bed myself.
What a party animal I’ve become!
This is when the old thoughts return,
and I have to fight
to keep them from taking hold again.
I pray for rest, for blessed
for tomorrow is coming soon
and I have promises to keep.
For a few days
I step away from the routine.
I sleep differently,
move my body in different ways.
I’m intentional with my time;
choosing only those activities
that deepen my connection with Spirit.
It’s a sacred time,
a prayerful time,
a time filled with infinite possibilities.
I dream that all sentient beings
may take such time for themselves.
As we retreat from the world outside,
we return to the home within.
No better welcome could ever be found
than the homecoming provided
by the One
who stands at the door of your heart
for your arrival.
Woke up sick…
I’m wondering how to be well,
even when I feel like this.
I have my kids,
it’s summer vacation.
I would’ve preferred
to be a fun energetic mom,
you don’t always get what you want.
Can I drop the guilt at the increased TV time for them,
so that I can have increased rest time for me?
I guess I’m going to have to.
Guilt won’t make me well.
Only love, acceptance and time will.
I dove even deeper inside myself today.
The children were at school;
they’d be with their dad tonight,
and I had nowhere else to go.
I slowed down.
I listened to music.
I weeded my flower garden,
took out the recycling,
I let go of what I no longer need
so that I can welcome what I really want
into my life.
I took a long hot bath.
I took a nap.
I heard him tell me
in the echo of my memory
You’re just a squatter;
you don’t own that house.
I snuggled in deeper under the covers
and I slept more.
Yes, at some point
I’ll have to figure myself and my life out.
At some point
I’ll most likely need to make some money
to support myself and my children
after all this time.
But it wasn’t today.
Today was for slowing down
and going deeper.
Hello, from the deep.