Tag Archives: seeking

There’s A Fire


There’s a fire in my belly,
a drive to speak, to move,
to  bring something up and out,
something strong, courageous,
something helpful, meaningful.
I pray to God…
Divine Beloved,
Guide me to know what to do with this fire.
Let me express it in a way that it will warm
instead of burn,
help, instead of hinder.
Let this time here be meaningful.
Show me how to serve in a way
that brings us together
and lifts us up.

Never Done Learning


I think I’ve found the answer
but then I’m left with more questions,
always more.
Depending on my mind state,
this is good news or terrible.
Questions are open doors
leading to new worlds,
and I do love exploring—
but sometimes
I just want to feel safe.
I just want to be held
in a safe little world
I understand.
How then to make peace
with the questions
and love them
like treasure chests
as we crack them open
to reveal the jewels inside?
How to use this currency
to travel to faraway places
and expand even more?
One thing is for sure:
I’m learning every day
that I’ll never be done learning.

Now What?


I keep asking myself
What am I holding onto,
and what am I willing to let go of?
The answers don’t arrive
in neat little packages;
they feel more like waves,
and they come as urges,
sensations, intuitive bursts.
When I get still and quiet,
when I listen to what’s being said,
when I feel my way fully
into the experience of this moment
all the signs
point the way
to something deeper.
It sinks in finally:
What I’m seeking
to label
is beyond words.
What I wish to grasp
cannot be seized in my hands.
What I want to understand
exists beyond understanding.
I recognize I know nothing.
Now what?

Self-Help Junkie


I ordered more self-help books today…
they’ve been my drug of choice
since June.
I keep believing
someone else has found
the clear path to my healing.
I’m searching
for the recipe
the strategy
the tip
the trick
the magical incantation
the mantra
the meditation
the process
the 40 day workbook
the online program
the teacher, speaker, or coach
to help me feel ok
about my life,  my self.
The hungry ghost looms large;
its insatiable appetite aches loudly.
I am overcome by everything.
I start to believe
that some mistake was made
when I came to Earth,
because clearly
I wasn’t meant for this world.
I pick up another self-help book.
Oh, someone else feels this way too?
I find some hope, some solace,
one moment of respite.
There are worse addictions.

Isn’t That Better?


You might go to the ends of the earth
and still never find the answer.
You could ask the wisest teacher
and still not know who you are.
Stop all this frantic searching
outside of yourself.
The answers are within.
Get still, close your eyes,
be quiet.
There now, isn’t that better?

Stop Pushing–You Already Are


Does it feel good
to push your back
against everything that haunts you?

Just for once,
stop pushing.

Feel something.
Stand and face what was pursuing you.

You’ll see your own face in the mirror
held up by your hope for transformation.
Take a deep breath.
You’ll see that you already are
that which you are seeking.