Tag Archives: self-acceptance

Gratitude, Day 29 of 48: Self-forgiveness

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When he left I tried to forgive him.
I wanted to forgive him and I wanted to forgive the other woman.
But as much as I tried, it wasn’t working.
I was still angry, lonely, grieving.
I was still terrified, feeling betrayed, victimized.
Then I realized I didn’t need to work on forgiving them,
I needed to work on forgiving myself.
I am training myself to understand
that I’m worthy of love even if I’m not perfect.
I’m working on forgiving myself
for tolerating the way I was treated in my marriage.
I’m working on forgiving myself for being human.
With the focus back on me I can actually feel
my body/spirit/mind/heart/self as it heals.
I’m finally getting to know the woman I am,
and I’m discovering that I love her.

Gratitude: Day 18 of 48

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And doggone it…people like me!

After years of being told I wasn’t good enough

My dietary choices were offensive,

It wasn’t ok to sit and knit when visiting the in-laws,

I didn’t keep the house clean enough,

My meditation practice was selfish—

The old programming has been hard to uproot.

But I am fortunate, because I have been given

Tools and resources to recover.

One of them is positive self-talk.

My current favorite mantra is

I love you and I’m proud of you.

It works wonders. I feel more confident and relaxed,

It no longer feels like a catastrophe when my house isn’t perfectly clean and organized,

And I like myself. I like being me.

I’m ok with being alone.

Try it out. See how it feels.

If it feels fake and forced,

Keep trying. You might discover

That you actually do love yourself.

Gratitude: Day 14 of 48

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I see you.
I hear you.
You’re going to be ok.

I’m proud of you.
I love you.


For the longest time I was waiting for someone
to speak words of kindness to me,
someone besides the therapists I was paying,
or the people in my twelve step meetings,
or the coach I had hired,
or the guided meditations I was listening to…
Sometimes I’d speak with a friend on the phone,
sometimes a family member,
but there were many, many times
when I wished for words of kindness
but I found myself utterly alone.
It finally dawned on me one day
that I am the one I’ve been waiting for,
and I could speak kindness to myself.
I also discovered
that self-love isn’t experienced
at the level of the intellect;
it must be felt.
So I began imagining what it would feel like
if I could really love, respect, and support myself.
I began speaking words of kindness to myself,
just to try it out, to hear myself being kind to myself.
Slowly, s l o w l y over time
I began to feel a change within me.
Slowly I began giving myself
the same kindness, care and concern
I would offer to a good friend.
Slowly I felt compassion for myself.
Slowly self-love become real.

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If you suffer from feelings of inadequacy, anxiety for the future, or the pain of unmet needs, I highly recommend checking out the work of self-compassion researcher Kristin Neff. Her site includes information about self-compassion and exercises to get you started with a self-compassion practice. There is also a self-compassion test so you can see where you fall on the self-compassion scale!

Gratitude: Day 11 of 48

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For the longest time I thought I was incomplete.
It felt like there were so many missing pieces.
I searched outside of myself for the answers.
I recruited men to help me feel complete.
I was married for nine years, and one day he said it was over.
In my devastation, I found IFS* and parts work.
I read the book You Are the One You’ve been Waiting For.
I worked really hard, attending Twelve Step Meetings, therapy,
EFT tapping, prayer and meditation, reading, writing.
Two and a half years later, still celibate,
I can finally feel the truth:
I am the one I’ve been waiting for.
I really can take care of myself emotionally!
Every day I am practicing self-love, self-acceptance, self-compassion.
If we could all recognize that we are the ones we’ve been waiting for,
life would be so much more…peaceful, fun, light, free…
May we all discover the gifts within us.
May we all come to cherish the beautiful beings that we are.
May we come to discover that we are the ones we’ve been waiting for.

❤️

❤️

❤️

*IFS: Internal Family Systems

Getting A Lot Right

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You know, he said,
You really are getting a lot of this right.
And I took this in,
and I wondered why I fixated so
on everything I thought I was doing wrong.
Could it have been the way I was spoken to
during my marriage?
Or was it the way I was spoken to
when I was a child?
I’m thinking both.
I’m thinking what I learned as a child
led me to tolerate
what happened in my marriage.
Now it’s time to heal.
Now it’s time to celebrate who I’ve become.
I’m a human, and I make mistakes,
but you know what?
As a single mom/yoga teacher/meditator/
writer/artist/speaker/coach/poet/inspirer/
healer/visionary/creatrix/lover of God
I really am getting a lot of this right.