At home again today,
starting to feel better,
and I have the urge
to throw myself back into all of the things
that made me sick in the first place.
Didn’t I learn the last thousand times?
Could I slow down for one more day
and let my body recuperate?
Who is telling me I need to do all of these things?
Could I let the house become messy
and love myself still?
Could I let my life become messy
and love myself still?
Woke up sick…
I’m wondering how to be well,
even when I feel like this.
I have my kids,
it’s summer vacation.
I would’ve preferred
to be a fun energetic mom,
you don’t always get what you want.
Can I drop the guilt at the increased TV time for them,
so that I can have increased rest time for me?
I guess I’m going to have to.
Guilt won’t make me well.
Only love, acceptance and time will.
When you think you should’ve done better,
be gentle; allow yourself to try again.
Yes, be honest with yourself
and make clear choices about the next time,
but still, be gentle.
Would you admonish a toddler
for not knowing how to sprint a marathon?
I struggle with the parts of myself
that feel unacceptable—
the anger, the sadness,
the fragility, the meanness—
and I realize I just want relief,
I want to feel better.
Then I realize
it doesn’t have to be a struggle.
Could I accept all these different parts?
Could I listen to them,
learn from them
what they’re here to teach me?
Again, I need patience.
There’s no going back to the old way,
and I cannot see
more than a few steps ahead…
can I just relax into this process
of making my way
one day at a time?
Just keep peeling back the layers.
As much as it hurts,
as scary as it is,
keep peeling back
the rage, fear,
anxiety, and sadness.
you’ll start to see the luminous being
waiting for you underneath all those layers.
you’ll come to realize who you really are
and why you’re really here.
Eventually you’ll understand
that the being you’ve uncovered
is the one you’ve been wanting all along.
Today’s prompt: take an image from the tarot deck and build your poem from there. I love trying something new. And I’ve loved the tarot since I was in middle school. Win-Win!
She nourishes the land and sea
with her naked essence;
her vulnerability renders her
She is so focused on her task
of sharing the life giving waters
She doesn’t hear the little bird
chirping in her ear.
If she could,
this is what it would be saying:
Slow down, dear,
take your time.
Give of yourself, yes,
but let it pour forth slowly.
There is no hurry
and this world may not be ready
for a flood.
You don’t have to try so hard;
you are already good.
I want to stop trying so hard to be good.
I want to just touch on
my own inherent goodness
and allow it to be enough
for this moment.
I can see our innocence.
I can see how much we try.
I can see that he is doing his best
and so am I.
Could I forgive him
for having this affair?
Could I forgive his mistress
for sleeping with a married man
who has two children and a wife
that he left to be with her?
Could I see her innocence too?
If I can allow others to be who they are
and do what they do
and love them anyway,
there is hope I can afford myself
the same kindness.