When the tethers of the predefined rendition of everyday, 3-D existence are momentarily loosened and my vision is freed, I can see that the ordinary everyday consciousness that we have leaves out more than it takes in.* And my prayer is: Reveal to me the truth that I may embody for the highest good of all beings. And I remember breathing is enough. So I breathe and my consciousness returns to the place I love to be, the reason I practice… the vast universe within.
I’m tired but I’m breathing like I mean it, writing my gratitude, really feeling it. I’m unsure of my path but I keep walking it, living my life, leaning into it, deepening. Nothing is what it seems; I dive deeper, and this moment unfolds as a dream. I marvel at how everything is extraordinary and everything is ordinary all at once. This doesn’t have to make sense.
You’ve come a long way baby! You were scared to live without him and then he left. You thought you were going to die, but you didn’t. You were terrified you wouldn’t find a new home, and then you did. You weren’t sure you could make ends meet, but you have, month after month after month. Just look at you go, sweetheart! See how it all works out? From my perspective, you’re a superhero. And…I LOVE YOU.
I’ve always been a sensitive person, wanting to understand myself, my world, who I am, why I’m here. I’m glad I found my way to my journals; I didn’t always have someone readily available to hold space as I explored the contents of my mind. This ability to tune into my thoughts and feelings and put them to words enabled me to also articulate them clearly to another. When I can share who I know myself to be with you, and you can share who you know yourself to be with me, then we create a space for authentic relationship, whether we are friends, family, colleagues or intimate partners. These days I am only interested in authentic connection, with you, with me, with this world. Self-awareness made this connection possible. I am grateful to my teachers who led me to this space of self-exploration through meditation, therapy, contemplation, writing, being. I am grateful to know that my Self is bigger than this woman I am, in this body as it is, with this mind, with this identify. Self-awareness taught me that I am this world, I am you, I am this universe. Only gratitude now, as the self within me reminds me that nothing more needs to be said.