Tag Archives: self-awareness

According to My Checking Account

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$-25.38 in my checking account
Hey mom, may I borrow $100
until I get paid tomorrow?
I’m sorry to have to ask
but I’ve been out of
my thyroid meds for five days and…

$74.62 in my checking account,
driving to the pharmacy
reminding myself
This too will pass.
$34.63 in my checking accout,
driving home,
reassuring myself
I have everything I need
to turn my life around.

Louise Hay said
Money is energy
and an exchange of resources.
How much I have
depends on how much
I believe I deserve.

If that’s true,
something in me thinks
I don’t deserve very much.
According to my checking account
I’m not worth much at all…
Back home
I feel like curling into a ball,
shrinking away from the world.
I don’t.
I force myself to eat lunch,
and then I sit down
to do some EFT Tapping.
Amid tears and terror,
I affirm that I always have enough money
to live my most authentic life.
Now, God, what now?

Better

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I wake up
and something’s different.
I see the sun.
I’m glad to be awake.
I have energy.
I’m excited to start the day.
I make berry salad
for our breakfast;
the kids and I enjoy
these colorful jewels
the earth grew
for our nourishment.
I feel so much love
my heart might burst.
My home is peaceful.
After the kids get on the bus
I come back home.
What is this feeling?
What is different?
And then I realize
I know what this is:
I feel better.

Time to Remember

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What would happen
if I suddenly recognized
that I am exactly where
I am supposed to be
doing exactly what
I am supposed to be doing?
What if I stopped struggling,
took a deep breath, and relaxed?
I might remember who I really am:
Pure consciousness aware of itself.
Upon this remembering,
bliss floods my being;
I am home.
I have spent so long in the dark,
struggling, afraid.
It is time to remember.
Time to come home.

A New Habit

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Oh sweetheart,
it’s going to be fine,
it really is.
You worry
and you worry
and you worry
worry
worry
but truly—
it’s going to be fine.
Hasn’t it always worked out
in one way or another?
Haven’t there been times
where the outcome
of some difficult experience
was even better
that you could’ve
ever anticipated?
Or is it that you
just don’t know how
not to worry?
Sweetheart, honestly,
it’s time for a new habit.
Instead of worrying,
how about celebrating?

I Was Free

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And suddenly,
it was gone.
The need to be right.
The need to be sad.
The need to be angry.
All of it, suddenly, gone.
And what remained?
Space.
Space for this moment,
to welcome all the things
I’ve been telling myself
I really want.
I breathed,
and in came the joy.
I breathed,
and in came the power.
I breathed deeper,
and touched into the love
that was already there.
And I was free.
I was free.
I was free.

A Long Intermission

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I was looking everywhere else
except for where I
really needed to be looking:
within myself.
Once I slowed down,
breathed
and chose to love myself
exactly as I am,
all the scenery came tumbling down
and for one moment I saw
the actors getting ready
for the second act.
They seemed really pressed for time
until I let them know
it was an audience of just one
and I’m going to need a long intermission.