Tag Archives: self-awareness

I Can Learn Something

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I can feel the pressure building inside of me,
pressure to get things done, get things organized,
be better, do more, know more,
pressure to have a plan,
pressure to answer others’ questions…
It’s the dark time of the year,
and the darkness is bringing me down.
I don’t want this pressure.
I want to hide.
God, help me change my mind.
Help me welcome the pressure.
Let me see this discomfort as a yoga posture
life has given me to master.
If I can breathe through it,
I can learn something from it.

But First…

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It’s a new day,
and I’m going to change my tune.
No more gloom and doom,
there’s no room
for that old story
in the new book of my life.
I’m getting it done.
I’m taking action!
I’m going to forge ahead
and figure this out!
Find a job!
Find a place to live!
Feel stable in every way!
Be the powerful, courageous woman
I was born to be,
set a good example for my kids,
wake up, stand up, look up
and contribute more to my community
and to my world!

But first, I’m going to take a nap.

Night Life of a Single Mom

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I am so tired
I feel it in my bones.
I’d love some energy for me
now that day is done,
time to write, to think,
to dream about what is to come.
But with kids in bed
I’m so out of my head tired
all I have the energy to do
is brush my teeth
and get to bed myself.
What a party animal I’ve become!
This is when the old thoughts return,
and I have to fight
to keep them from taking hold again.
I pray for rest, for blessed
deep sleep,
for tomorrow is coming soon
and I have promises to keep.

It Always Works Out

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I keep asking HOW?
How will I shift this situation?
How will I become autonomous?
How will I find a home?
A job?
A new way to live
and provide for my living?
Fear wants to creep in.
It’s slimy and quick
and slips into my mind
because that is what it has always done.
But I decide that it’s time for a new way.
I choose to give more attention to my future
than I give to my past.
I don’t need to be afraid anymore;
I can trust in Life;
it always works out
one way or another.

Home

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My cup is spilling over,
with joy, gratitude, connection.
I have arrived fully in this moment,
standing in the center of my self.
The one who sought fulfillment,
the one who wanted to be loved,
the one who longed to be seen, heard and held,
the one who desired safety, protection,
the one who wished to be taken care of,
the one who yearned to know God’s love—
that one takes a deep breath,
smiles,
looks around,
and knows that she is home.

Choices

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It all comes down to choices.
Microscopic, seemingly
inconsequential
choices.
Snooze or get right up?
Meditate or check your email?
Exercise or sleep in?
Read or watch TV?
Write in your journal or check Instagram?
Cheesesteak or salad?
Work hard, or just coast through?
Focus on what you love
or dwell on what bothers you?
Second after second
minute after minute
hour after hour
day after day
year after year
these choices add up
to a life.
YOUR life.
Now, in this very moment,
what’s your choice?