Tag Archives: self-awareness

No Summit

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As goals are reached
new goals must be set
or else we will plateau.
This time last year,
my goal was just to make it through the day.
At the end of each day
noting that I was still alive—
this felt like an accomplishment.
I survived.
As time went on and the months flew by,
my goal was to make it through
the betrayal, the loss,
the pain, the shame, the heartbreak,
the utter devastation of divorce.
The divorce was finalized in January.
I survived.
As time went on and the months flew by,
my goal was to figure out new housing,
to keep my kids in their school,
somehow, someway
to maintain stability for my children.
All of the pieces are falling into place.
I survived.
It looks like the Universe
is conspiring in my favor.
What is my goal now?
More than financial stability,
more than a home,
more than recognition…
I want to know what my
deepest, truest offering is,
and how I can share my gifts with the world
in a more impactful way.
I’m diving deeper in now,
asking for guidance,
asking for the plan to be revealed
so that I can keep trekking up this mountain
that has no summit.

All Complete

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I’m breathing into whatever arises,
and this is my practice right now.
Instead of resisting the stress,
I feel it fully, breathing.
Instead of judging my anger,
I breathe and allow myself to feel.
When I get worried,
I notice the worry, and I breathe
as a single mother
who wants to make sure her kids
have a bright, happy future.
When I’m in a hurry,
instead of criticizing myself,
I breathe fully into the belly
of this woman who thinks
there is never enough time.
Taking ownership of my current experience
and embodying fully this moment
as it presents itself to me,
I see there are no missing pieces.
I see I am, we are, this is all complete.

Escapee

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She rises

Every morning

She gets back up again

Maybe you thought

She’d become your

Beast of burden

Maybe you thought

Her body was your home

Your property

But you were just a visitor

And you overstepped

Your bounds.

You couldn’t tame her

She is not meant to be

Fully domesticated

You couldn’t breed

The wildness out of her

And her fierceness

Scared the hell out of you.

Now you’re riding a new beast.

She seems docile enough,

Unthreatening.

She may tolerate

Your whippings, your

Bit and bridle

The reins

You use to steer her…

You might ride this one for a bit

Until she becomes old and fat and slow

But the one you left

Is still wild

You couldn’t break her

And every morning she rises

And runs with the sun and wind

And feels her free blood in her veins

And celebrates her escape

From your slavery

This New Me

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I like this new me
that has gotten up and gone running
every day for a week.
I like this new me
that smiles and laughs
and senses the promise of a better future.
I like this new me
that doesn’t need a man
to make her feel ok.
I like this new me
that trusts she can make
more than enough money to live well.
I trust this new me
to take the necessary steps
to create a good life for herself and her children.
I’ve been through hell,
and now that I am out the other side,
I can see that the best is yet to come.

Keep It Simple

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Keep it simple.
Complexity introduces volatility
which becomes chaos.
Keep it simple.
Even if your brain seeks excitement
and believes life is boring without it.
Keep it simple.
Life doesn’t have to be struggle;
just to be here, breathing and aware
is enough.
Keep it simple.
The most elegant things in life
are right here where you are, now,
but you’ll miss them if you’re focusing
on some other time, some other place,
some other moment.
Do you want peace?
Do you want joy?
Do you want love?
Do you want fulfillment?
Keep it simple, my friends, keep it simple.

Back to Wholeness

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How safe is it to share, to be vulnerable?
How safe is it to be honest
about what I’m really feeling?
I know that what I’m feeling is nothing new.
I know that there are countless humans
feeling the exact same thing I’m feeling
in this very moment.
If I had a friend feeling what I’m feeling,
I’d tell them
You are not alone.
I’m here with you.
What do you need?

In the absence of a friend to offer it to me,
can I offer myself this same kindness?
I know I can’t rely on someone else
to bring me the happiness I seek.
I know that the happiness is within me,
concealed by stories of unhappiness.
Now my job is to identify those obstacles to my happiness,
be willing to let them go,
and allow the happiness to emerge naturally.
God give me the strength
to love myself back to wholeness.

A Deeper Hunger

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There is a deeper hunger I’m noticing.
In the absence of what I thought I wanted
(marriage, stable home, busy social life, material wealth)
I’ve run through scenarios in my mind…
So what if I met someone else?
So what if I made enough money to live in a mansion?
So what if I were stunningly successful at business?
So what if I were to become famous?

I’ve pictured each of these coming true,
and I realized that none of these would satisfy me.
This is nothing new.
Anyone can go back into the ancient texts
and find exactly the same insight
shared by men and women of long ago.
So this led me to the question
What WOULD satisfy me?
And a feeling emerges…
something about connection, meaning and purpose.
Something about knowing that the world
is a better place for my having passed through it,
something about leaving this wonderful legacy
of humor, generosity and love
for my children’s children’s children.
I recognize that out of all the appetites I have,
this deeper hunger is the one I should
pay attention to the most.