Tag Archives: self-control

I Apologize (But Not Really)

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Dear Everyone,

I apologize for the tone of my last poem.
Actually, I don’t.
I have raging PMS
and the veil between 3D reality
and the spirit world is thinner
and everything I have been suppressing
in my act to be nice and please everyone
is now coming up of its own volition.
So really, I have no control over it.
And so, if you don’t like it,
you know exactly what you can do.

Love,
Lorien

Confessions at a Quarter to Ten

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Yep. 9:45 pm,
and I feel a need to confess.
Bless me, for I have sinned,
and god knows how long it has been
since my last confession.

I lost my temper this morning.
I sat to meditate after settling my son
Into his room with some trains,
and as I was just entering the timeless
field of presence,
I heard him say, “MAMA!”

I paused my meditation to check in on him…
and wasn’t prepared for the sight that met my eye.
Poop in the diaper that he took off and left on the floor,
poop on the carpet where he sat to put his pants back on
after he took off the poopy diaper,
poop on his pants as he labored to pull the waistband up
to where it was supposed to sit on his little body.

I’ve given you enough gory details, I think.
With calm I cleaned him up,
got him a fresh set of clothes to put on,
and everything seemed to be going well…
until it all hit me.

I didn’t get to meditate!  That is horrible!  I am so angry right now!
I yelled, I stomped, I shrieked.
My son watched.
I wasn’t proud.
The energy it took to remain angry zapped me of my energy,
and I spent a good part of the remaining day feeling guilty and depressed.

Now I am so tired, and I know that it is time to wrap  this up,
attempt to meditate for a few minutes,
and then let my body, my mind, my soul rest…

Maybe I’ll get enough rest to be able to forgive myself tomorrow morning
for the mistakes I made today.