I got upset this morning,
lost it with my kids,
felt guilty and ashamed.
I interpreted this event as a setback.
I spent some time wallowing in shame,
depression, the belief that I haven’t made
any progress at all.
Then I breathed.
Then the wisdom came.
I remembered that I’m human,
I make mistakes,
and now it’s time for a reset.
So I chose for the day to go better
from that point on.
I’m going in to the kids’ classes
for Valentine’s Day;
I’m going to help the kids celebrate,
make crafts, have fun.
I tied up some loose ends at home,
finished some projects that had been waiting.
No more dwelling in upset, in setbacks.
I’ve reset…now it’s time to keep moving forward.
It’s a new day,
and I’m going to change my tune.
No more gloom and doom,
there’s no room
for that old story
in the new book of my life.
I’m getting it done.
I’m taking action!
I’m going to forge ahead
and figure this out!
Find a job!
Find a place to live!
Feel stable in every way!
Be the powerful, courageous woman
I was born to be,
set a good example for my kids,
wake up, stand up, look up
and contribute more to my community
and to my world!
But first, I’m going to take a nap.
Creativity takes time,
and I’m taking mine.
It might appear
to those who want to smear
my good name across the floor
that I’m good for nothing,
and should be doing more.
But I know better.
I’m learning and growing,
and knowing that 99% of the work I’m doing
is invisible—I don’t expect anyone to see me.
I don’t need anyone’s approval.
I don’t care what people think about me.
I’ll take as much time as I need
to process this new information,
and when I’m ready,
I’ll move on.
Creativity takes time,
and I’m working on my greatest
It all comes down to choices.
Snooze or get right up?
Meditate or check your email?
Exercise or sleep in?
Read or watch TV?
Write in your journal or check Instagram?
Cheesesteak or salad?
Work hard, or just coast through?
Focus on what you love
or dwell on what bothers you?
Second after second
minute after minute
hour after hour
day after day
year after year
these choices add up
to a life.
Now, in this very moment,
what’s your choice?
It’s finally dawning on me
that success isn’t some
flip of the switch,
wave of the wand moment.
Some fairy godmother won’t descend
out of the sky singing
and make my entire life perfect.
Success is going through the day
feeling super anxious
and remembering a few times
to take a breath.
Success is showing up for the interview.
It’s cooking dinner for the children
when I just want to take a nap.
It’s remembering, finally,
that I am not a victim,
and that I can choose how my story goes.
It’s feeling gratitude regardless,
letting my heart open to the love that is there,
even if it hasn’t appeared
the way I was hoping it would.
It’s showing up on my cushion
morning after morning
to sit and breathe and just be with what is.
Success is a lot more incremental
than I once thought it was.
It’s breath by breath
moment by moment
inch by inch
letting go of my past as I
look to the future.
Ah, now. This is good.
I can relax and enjoy my success!
A gift from above.
A job falling right into my lap.
Being guided and led along this path
to financial autonomy
and emotional freedom.
Now it’s time to give thanks,
and even more thanks.
Thanks for the friend who thought of me
when the school was desperate for a teacher,
thanks for my experience teaching
that would make me eligible to help this school.
Thanks to God for carrying me through the uncertainty.
Thanks to friends and family who listened
as I complained about the uncertainty.
I’m still a bit shocked
that it could be this simple, fluid and easy.
But I’ve worked hard this year,
making amends with myself, with God and with life.
From this place of wholeness
magic just happens.
Knowing myself better.
Diving deeper, exploring.
Looking up, looking out,
Reading, reading, reading,
exposing myself to new ideas,
a wealth of information,
developing a treasure trove within,
treasure no one can see and yet
a treasure that is more real than any other.
The medicine man sings
Invisible es mi camino,
and I sing along.
Taking a deep breath,
watching my mind
desperately attempt to understand
through the lens of the past,
and patiently, firmly
holding up and looking through a new lens—
a wide open future full of possibility.
Sometimes I resent having to do so much work
to wake up, to improve, to become better…
Like everyone else, I just want to be happy, healthy,
have a good life, be at peace.
Then it occurs to me
that the work will enable me to create these things
and claim them as mine.
If the good life were handed to me on a silver platter,
could I accept it?
Would I see myself as worthy?
I’m so grateful for the infinitely generous present moment.
No matter how many times my mind goes back to the past
or rushes headlong into the future,
this beautiful present moment
always waits for me right here, right now,
with wide open arms.