Tag Archives: self-discovery

Devastation Transformat​io​n

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And then a friend sent me a link
to spiritual teacher Matt Kahn’s
video entitled The Pain of Loss,
and it rocked my world.
I thought of how I had been
trying to escape my pain,
seeing it as evidence of failure,
and here was someone saying
that our bigges mistake is
our attempt to bypass the pain
so that we can continue on our path.
Instead, if we can see that our pain IS the path,
if we can see that
our devastation leads to transformation,
we’ll join with the Divine as co-creators,
and live into our fullest destiny
as embodied masters.
What the what?
So it is in my enduring
that I come to know my greatest strength?
I can allow the Universe to
turn me upside down and shake me out
and I can emerge on the other side
more loving, compassionate and clearer
than ever before?
I’m going to go and digest this now.
Thanks for listening.

PS I would love to hear all about your stories of transformation following great loss and deep pain.  Have you learned how to see pain as a great teacher?  Have you learned to embrace painful experiences as opportunities for profound growth?  How long did your initiation take? How long did you stay in the crucible, allowing life to burn away what you no longer needed for the journey ahead? I welcome anything you’re willing to share. Knowing that I’m not alone in my profound suffering has helped me realize that I’m part of this big human family, and I’d like to think that somehow in the sharing of our stories we’re collectively helping the human race to grow and evolve.

Could It Be?

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I’ve been in agony this past year
trying to figure out how this all will end,
but could it be that this is just the beginning?
I thought my life was over
when he told me our marriage was over,
but could it be that I’m being born into new life?
I’ve cried out many times to God
asking to be given the answers…
but could it be that I wasn’t ready for answers?
Could it be that I didn’t even know the question?
I chose trust as my word of the year
and I’ve struggled to understand what trust even is.
Could it be that my struggle is the opportunity
I was asking for this whole time?
Could it be that through struggling
and surviving the struggle,
I’ll learn to trust myself?
Could all of this,
the entirety of this experience,
be one long answered prayer
as I awaken to the truth of who I really am?
Could it be?

The One You’ve Been Waiting For

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The most important love affair you’ll ever have
is the one you have with yourself.
How’s that going?
If you haven’t learned to love yourself,
take heart…
It’s a practice, and you can learn.
Start small.
Decide that today you’ll be
a little kinder than you were yesterday.
Choose to see your qualities.
Commit to moving toward what lights you up.
Believe that your most fulfilling life is possible
and then take some steps toward that life.
Start somewhere, anywhere, just begin.
You might discover along the way
that this is what you’ve been wanting all along.
You are the one you’ve been waiting for.

Irresistible Heart

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The pressure is off.
You don’t need to be perfect.
Just work hard
to discover who you really are
then share that with the world.
Your voice is unique,
so is your mind
and your spirit…
there will never be another
exactly like you.
The world longs to know you,
the real you.
Would you deny us that?
Have mercy on us,
give yourself completely to us,
know who you are,
and shine that self
into the world,
illuminating us
with the radiant beauty
of your irresistible heart.

Inner Awakening

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I’ve been meditating on creativity,
what it is,
and how to express my creativity
more often
in order to live an inspired life.
My mind opens to the possibility
that I don’t need to be a famous artist
in order to create art…
I don’t even need another soul
to see my creations
and recognize them as art
in order for me to enjoy them.
It’s the moment of creation–
not necessarily the end result–
that brings the opening
and still more opening
to the possibilities that lie
within and ahead of me.
Living in that freshness
life becomes an exciting adventure
once more.
I thought I needed to travel the world
for my life to be interesting…
It turns out that my inner landscape
is just as fascinating as the one I survey
in the outer world,
The discoveries I make within myself
are even more astounding
than anything I could chance upon
out there,
The treasure I find on this inner exploration
is worth more than any precious gem
found on earth.

Writing Meditation

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Hello there friends.  I’m wondering if any of my fellow bloggers out there also keep a personal journal as a part of their writing practice.  Since starting out on this blog project on January 1 and following through with daily posts, I have watched myself revive my long lost daily journal writing practice, and have been doing both my blog writing and my journaling in tandem for quite a while.  It is such a relief to come back home to myself through my writing, to give myself that sacred space to flush out the brain and tune in to the being in me beyond the neurotic, recurring, frantic, hectic, critical, dissatisfied thoughts that often plague my waking consciousness.

My evening meditations have been less than amazing, to put it gently.    First of all, I have been so tired when I sit at night that I often manage just a few minutes before I start nodding off.  Then I end up heading to bed, wondering when I’ll have the energy for a full thirty-five minute sit.  And then finally I watch myself feeling guilty for not being able to commit to sitting upright for a longer period of time…yikes! When meditation turns into another opportunity for a guilt trip dealt by my emotional system, something needs to change, wouldn’t you say?

It seems as though I have been lacking the discipline to really follow through on my evening meditation practice, but I have shown up for it.  I have put my butt on my cushion, even if it is for only a few minutes.  And this has been my way of compromising…instead of chastising myself for not showing up for my evening practice–which I established in January of 2013 to supplement my morning practice–I still show up for it, just not for the entire duration. Ah life, and the little dances we do to navigate the challenges of it all.

Tonight I thought, “Well, if my sitting meditation isn’t working out so great, maybe it’s time to try something else.  What not a writing meditation?” I set my timer for thirty-five minutes, and committed to just letting the thoughts, my breath, and the ink from my pen flow, non-stop, for the whole time.  “This is a meditation,” I figured, “as good a meditation as anything else.  I am bringing my mind to a still point, I am paying attention to my inner world, I am sitting more or less in stillness.” Yes, a writing meditation.

And you know what? It was pretty great.  Ten pages of allowing myself to think and feel and express seem to me to be progress.  I stayed awake, I was engaged, and I even uncovered an emotional loophole, which I’ll write about in my poem tonight.

So just curious.  Do any of you keep a journal?  Do you write in it regularly?  Have you approached your writing as a meditation before?