Tag Archives: self-knowing

This Is Enough

Standard

What is enough, really?
Let’s ask ourselves this question,
this practical, necessary question.
Because if we can’t identify
what enough is,
if we don’t know what
we are looking for,
we’ll never find it.
Imagine searching
your whole life
as a hungry ghost,
always searching
for more more more,
never discovering enough.
Enough is freedom.
Enough is safety.
Enough is peace.
Try this:
Breathing in,
silently repeat
This is enough.
Breathing out
silently repeat
I am enough.
Really sense the truth
in these words.
Really feel and know
this moment is enough
and you are enough…
but only if you want to be
happy and free.

No Destination

Standard

I keep wondering when I’ll be better…
I recently added a second session
of therapy within the week,
and that question
keeps ricocheting in my mind:
When will I be better?
When will I be better?
and I wonder then
Hey, what’s wrong with me now?
Is there something so wrong
that I need to work hard to get better?
And then I remember
Life is a process.
It is a journey,
not a destination.
This process of becoming—
a journey, not a destination.
Awakening to self—
a journey, not a destination.
Instead of getting better,
maybe I can simply focus
on living well.
I can enjoy the journey
and accept
there is no destination.

Deep Loneliness is Our Offering

Standard

There is a deep loneliness in me

and I can remember it being there since

fourth grade at least,

this feeling of being alone

no matter how many people are around,

of being invisible, unseen

even when others say my name,

address me.

This loneliness eats away at me…

something about being different, unworthy…

and I want to answer it.

I want to say,

But see? I have students who listen to me.

But my students always go home,

and eventually I find myself alone again.

For a few years marriage and motherhood

precluded the possibility of being truly alone,

but since he left me, I find myself

without my children half of the time,

and that’s when I feel most lonely.

Yes, yes, yes you self-helpers out there,

I know I need to be a friend to myself,

love myself, court myself,

make love to myself, welcome myself,

YES YES YES I know all this already.

No use reminding me.

The fact that I can know

and not implement this knowing

makes me even more lonely.

What will help me?

Even in the darkest moments

of loneliness and isolation

one thing I know…

I am not the only one

feeling this lonely.

Maybe we can share

in our loneliness, together.

All over this world,

hearts reaching out

with threads of longing for connection,

could we wrap this world

in our longing

and know the breadth and depth of our work?

Maybe our loneliness

is our offering…

 

 

 

Until the Very End

Standard

Day by day I’m learning how to love
and seeing how it all begins with me.
I thought love was lost when he left;
I turns out I didn’t understand love at all.
Slowly the stirring begins in me anew,
but this time it isn’t for anyone outside of me.
It’s for the one within, the one who has waited
an eternity to be seen and known,
the only one capable of true and lasting love,
the one who can never leave me or hurt me,
the only one who has the stamina
to love me until the very end.

NaPoWriMo 2018, day 30: Just the Facts

Standard

Today’s prompt asks us to create a poem by engaging with a strange fact, or an odd bit of history, or some obscure morsel of trivia.  I tried. Really I did…I read some bits and pieces in all the websites that were linked in the prompt, but nothing really spoke to me, so here I am, just thinking I’m going to write something and call it a poem, because I can!

********************
FACT: I want to know how long it will take to grieve
FACT: I’m tired today
FACT: I’m waiting for things to change.
FACT: I’m scared they won’t.
FACT: I’m not sure I’ll ever learn to trust again.
FACT: I still have hope.

Free and Light and Clear

Standard

I was ready for it
and so it came…
forgiveness.
I realized
I didn’t want to suffer any longer.
I wanted him to be happy.
I wanted to heal.
I wanted my children to feel safe
with both of us.
I wanted to release my anger.
I wanted to embrace trust,
to trust in love,
to love what is.
Once the decision was made,
there was no turning back.
Grace swept over me
and through me,
above and below me,
all around me,
in front of me,
behind me,
inside,
outside,
past and future,
and I found myself
here in this moment
free and light and clear.