Tag Archives: self-knowing

Eight Years

Standard

Eight years.
Eight years of pausing,
sitting still, closing my eyes
and going within.
I remember well the day
eight years ago, when,
pregnant, feeling sick,
overwhelmed by my responsibilities
as wife and mother,
I called out to the void
I’m going crazy! I’m losing it!
Help me! What should I do?

And the Voice said
You must meditate.
And I thought,
Of course.
I had a regular practice
before I met my husband,
but (and maybe you can relate)
self-care always fell to the bottom of the list
when I was in a relationship with someone else.
The Voice said
Meditate
and I remembered that this was an option,
and I sat.
I started small, just five minutes a session,
but I quickly worked my way up
to thirty minutes a day.
Eight years and I haven’t missed a day.
Eight years…I have shown up for myself.
My ex said
You meditate too much
when he gave me the list of reasons
he was leaving our marriage.
That was two years ago,
and he’s gone now,
but I’m still meditating.
Eight years I’ve said to myself
I matter. This matters.
I’m going to keep showing up.
And I will, for eight more years,
and eight more and eight more after that.
I’ll show up every single day,
rain or shine,
in sickness or in health,
for richer or for poorer,
until death closes my body’s eyes
and opens the eyes of my soul.
Then, there will be no surprises,
because in meditation I have seen it all.

Is It Safe?

Standard

In this spacious present
I can relax, breathe,
recognize that everything is ok.
Why has so much of my time been spent
being educated away from what is here?
Can I unlearn enough
to have the space in my mind
to be truly present?
What would I do with such clarity,
such immense and immediate expansion?
Knowing that I could never shrink back
to what I was before,
is it safe to leave behind what is familiar
transform
and face the adventure before me?

The Most Potent Medicine

Standard

All of a sudden,
I gave myself permission
to be happy,
to heal.
I decided
to learn how to tolerate
feeling good,
to raise my threshold
for success.
I chose
to stop holding myself back,
making excuses.

I had given myself
the most potent medicine there is:

S E L F L O V E

Expand Now

Standard

There will come a time
when the light that you are
will join again with the light
from which you came.
Before then,
consider that
it is the nature of life
to expand endlessly.
Are you flowing with this tendency,
or are you hindering it?
Are you willing to expand endlessly,
allowing the divine light in you
to be expressed through this form
before the time comes
for you to release this form
back to the earth from which it came?
As much as we hate to think about it,
we will all one day die,
and there is no escaping this truth.
Will you allow yourself full expansion
before you give way to the ultimate
surrender of death?
If you’re wanting to expand
into your fullest self before you die,
then don’t wait!
Nothing is promised;
we only have this one moment.
Call on all your courage,
knowing you will die one day,
and expand NOW.

Just A Little Bit At A Time

Standard

It doesn’t have to happen all at once,
and,
it simply won’t happen all at once.
Like the transition from winter to spring
this uncovering of the heart
and this healing of the spirit
and this flowing into a new form
and this experience of a new self
takes time.
Let each one of us trust
our own healing process
and surrender into the ways
life loves us, day by day,
as we transform
just a little bit at a time.

In the Midst of Chaos

Standard

Where is the balance point
between the effort and the ease?
Where is the grace
that allows forgiveness to find me?
Where is the sweet one
who will coax my heart out of hiding?
Where is the soul nourishment
that will sustain me?
I keep trying, trying, trying.
I’m exhausted from the effort
of teasing apart the jumbled mess
of other people’s perceptions
and finding my true self
concealed somewhere deep within.
Where am I,
who am I,
in the midst of all of this chaos?