Tag Archives: self-love

Thoughts On My Mid-Pandemic Birthday

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Today I turn 43;
This body has made
43 trips around the sun,
and it seems significant
that I find myself alone
to send up rockets of appreciation
from my square foot of earth
to celebrate the occasion of my birth.
I like myself.
I like the company I keep
in the quiet moments
when there is no one else
to break the silence,
when I have the space to listen to
the deep music of what continues
without human effort,
what remains,
what hums
when we finally slow down
and accept that
enough is enough.

I Wonder

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What if I could experience myself as good enough?
What if I could see my life as good enough?
What if I saw myself as a good enough mom?
What if I really believed I was a good enough teacher,
daughter, neighbor, artist, sister, musician, cousin, friend?
If I stopped telling the story that there is something wrong with me
and started telling a new one called
I AM ENOUGH
What would happen then?
I wonder…

Auto Valentine

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Dear Lorien,

I love you, forever and always.
I promise to take care of you
and never, ever leave you.
I promise to support you any way I can.
I promise to celebrate you and all your successes.
I am so proud of who you’ve become!
I love spending time with you!
You are such an amazing person;
I’m so inspired by you, your openness,
vulnerability, willingness to dig deep
and allow your authentic self to speak.
Let me know how I can love you better.
I am here totally and completely for you.

Love,

Lorien

Gratitude, Day 29 of 48: Self-forgiveness

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When he left I tried to forgive him.
I wanted to forgive him and I wanted to forgive the other woman.
But as much as I tried, it wasn’t working.
I was still angry, lonely, grieving.
I was still terrified, feeling betrayed, victimized.
Then I realized I didn’t need to work on forgiving them,
I needed to work on forgiving myself.
I am training myself to understand
that I’m worthy of love even if I’m not perfect.
I’m working on forgiving myself
for tolerating the way I was treated in my marriage.
I’m working on forgiving myself for being human.
With the focus back on me I can actually feel
my body/spirit/mind/heart/self as it heals.
I’m finally getting to know the woman I am,
and I’m discovering that I love her.

Gratitude: Day 19 of 48

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Because…self-love…

I’ve been sleeping alone since June of 2017
when my children’s father decided he was done with our marriage.
At first I felt as though I was falling through endless space,
or better yet,
I was a boat lost at sea in a storm with no safe harbor,
tossed around on waves of worthlessness, anxiety for the future,
hopeless and futility.
I survived the storm.
I put my focus on me and my recovery.
I vowed to discover what unconditional self-love is;
I also vowed to become financially independent.
I’m made headway with self-love;
I’m still working on the financial independence,
therefore, I’m still single, and I’M GLAD.
I’m committed to awakening,
to allowing the self within me to emerge
and express herself authentically.
I realize I like being alone and I like the company I keep.
I realized I don’t need a man to be complete.
I am grateful I have this freedom to be me, on my own.

Gratitude: Day 18 of 48

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And doggone it…people like me!

After years of being told I wasn’t good enough

My dietary choices were offensive,

It wasn’t ok to sit and knit when visiting the in-laws,

I didn’t keep the house clean enough,

My meditation practice was selfish—

The old programming has been hard to uproot.

But I am fortunate, because I have been given

Tools and resources to recover.

One of them is positive self-talk.

My current favorite mantra is

I love you and I’m proud of you.

It works wonders. I feel more confident and relaxed,

It no longer feels like a catastrophe when my house isn’t perfectly clean and organized,

And I like myself. I like being me.

I’m ok with being alone.

Try it out. See how it feels.

If it feels fake and forced,

Keep trying. You might discover

That you actually do love yourself.

Gratitude: Day 14 of 48

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I see you.
I hear you.
You’re going to be ok.

I’m proud of you.
I love you.


For the longest time I was waiting for someone
to speak words of kindness to me,
someone besides the therapists I was paying,
or the people in my twelve step meetings,
or the coach I had hired,
or the guided meditations I was listening to…
Sometimes I’d speak with a friend on the phone,
sometimes a family member,
but there were many, many times
when I wished for words of kindness
but I found myself utterly alone.
It finally dawned on me one day
that I am the one I’ve been waiting for,
and I could speak kindness to myself.
I also discovered
that self-love isn’t experienced
at the level of the intellect;
it must be felt.
So I began imagining what it would feel like
if I could really love, respect, and support myself.
I began speaking words of kindness to myself,
just to try it out, to hear myself being kind to myself.
Slowly, s l o w l y over time
I began to feel a change within me.
Slowly I began giving myself
the same kindness, care and concern
I would offer to a good friend.
Slowly I felt compassion for myself.
Slowly self-love become real.

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If you suffer from feelings of inadequacy, anxiety for the future, or the pain of unmet needs, I highly recommend checking out the work of self-compassion researcher Kristin Neff. Her site includes information about self-compassion and exercises to get you started with a self-compassion practice. There is also a self-compassion test so you can see where you fall on the self-compassion scale!