Tag Archives: self-love

Feeling Self-Love

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I asked my inner critic to go on vacation
and invited my inner child to come out of hiding.
She still doesn’t trust me all the way.
I don’t blame her.
For so long I derived my identity
from a man who was unkind to me;
I tolerated the way he spoke to me,
accepted crumbs of affection,
thought this was the best I could do.
Now I need to build trust in myself,
and demonstrate to this little girl
that I am strong and capable enough
to provide for her,
that I love her,
that I am glad she is here,
and she is the most important person in my life.
Instead of just thinking about self-love,
I am working on feeling it, living it, expressing it.
God, show me how to love and care for myself
the way you love and care for me.

I Rest

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Slowing down, taking time…
Body run down
says Stop. Rest.
I listen.
I rest as much as I can
in between classes.
It would be so easy to blame.
To go back into victim mode
and complain about the upheaval.
But that’s not congruent with who I am.
Who I am is strong.
Who I am is loving.
Who I am is resourceful, creative, inspired.
Who I am is kind.
So instead of looking out and blaming,
I look in and ask,
What can be done now?
My body says Rest.
I listen. I rest.

Keep Working

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It won’t feel like it’s mine
unless I’ve worked for it,
and so the Universe
is giving me a chance to work.
I can feel my old thinking
crop up sometimes,
especially now,
when I feel tired in body and mind
and I’m longing for quiet and rest.
Old thoughts come back,
about deserving better,
about wishing it had gone differently,
outraged about circumstances
beyond my control.
But I’ve been practicing.
I’ve been practicing
day after day
I’ve been practicing hard.
And my new thinking
responds to the old
and says:
You don’t HAVE to do this,
you GET do to do this.
You aren’t a victim,
you are a powerful woman
who has been given an opportunity
to step into her power
and love herself back to health.
You are a fortunate woman
who has been led to wake up
to the beauty of the present moment
and express her gifts, talents and abilities
in service of all beings.
You are a work in progress,
you’ll never be done,
so keep working, woman,
keep working.

Eight Years

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Eight years.
Eight years of pausing,
sitting still, closing my eyes
and going within.
I remember well the day
eight years ago, when,
pregnant, feeling sick,
overwhelmed by my responsibilities
as wife and mother,
I called out to the void
I’m going crazy! I’m losing it!
Help me! What should I do?

And the Voice said
You must meditate.
And I thought,
Of course.
I had a regular practice
before I met my husband,
but (and maybe you can relate)
self-care always fell to the bottom of the list
when I was in a relationship with someone else.
The Voice said
Meditate
and I remembered that this was an option,
and I sat.
I started small, just five minutes a session,
but I quickly worked my way up
to thirty minutes a day.
Eight years and I haven’t missed a day.
Eight years…I have shown up for myself.
My ex said
You meditate too much
when he gave me the list of reasons
he was leaving our marriage.
That was two years ago,
and he’s gone now,
but I’m still meditating.
Eight years I’ve said to myself
I matter. This matters.
I’m going to keep showing up.
And I will, for eight more years,
and eight more and eight more after that.
I’ll show up every single day,
rain or shine,
in sickness or in health,
for richer or for poorer,
until death closes my body’s eyes
and opens the eyes of my soul.
Then, there will be no surprises,
because in meditation I have seen it all.

I Am Enough

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I am enough.
I am enough?
I am enough!
What a relief.
I don’t need a man to take care of me,
I don’t need a man to make me feel loved,
I don’t need a man to keep me safe,
I don’t need a man to validate my existence.
I am enough.
I can take care of me.
I can love me.
I can keep me safe.
I exist. No need for validation. I exist.
I am enough.
Hallelujah!
I am enough!

This New Me

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I like this new me
that has gotten up and gone running
every day for a week.
I like this new me
that smiles and laughs
and senses the promise of a better future.
I like this new me
that doesn’t need a man
to make her feel ok.
I like this new me
that trusts she can make
more than enough money to live well.
I trust this new me
to take the necessary steps
to create a good life for herself and her children.
I’ve been through hell,
and now that I am out the other side,
I can see that the best is yet to come.

Entitled

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I’m feeling entertained.
What was meant as an insult
has provided endless laughter.
This means progress.
I was told that the body part upon which I sit
is entitled.
I was told to get off this particularly entitled body part
and get a job.
I have two things to say:
1. I have a job. Actually two jobs. Actually three.
I have been mothering for 9 years
and teaching yoga for 14
and it is a full time job being me,
it’s a tough job but someone’s gotta do it
and I’m the most qualified for it—
AND I AM DAMN GOOD AT WHAT I DO,
AND I WILL KEEP DOING IT, THANK YOU.
2. Yes, I am entitled,
and not just the body part on which I sit.
All of me is entitled.
All of me is entitled to:
love
respect
joy
beauty
care
kindness
compassion
understanding
abundance
and gratitude
(among other things, but the list is getting too long, so I’ll stop there. For now).
I am entitled to these things,
because this is what I give out.
Oh wait, there is a third thing I have to say:
3. YOU CAN’T HURT ME ANYMORE.
If you have any questions, comments or concerns,
just talk to the aforementioned entitled body part on which I sit.
I’m sure it will make itself very clear,
in one way or another.