Tag Archives: self-love

This New Me

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I like this new me
that has gotten up and gone running
every day for a week.
I like this new me
that smiles and laughs
and senses the promise of a better future.
I like this new me
that doesn’t need a man
to make her feel ok.
I like this new me
that trusts she can make
more than enough money to live well.
I trust this new me
to take the necessary steps
to create a good life for herself and her children.
I’ve been through hell,
and now that I am out the other side,
I can see that the best is yet to come.

Entitled

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I’m feeling entertained.
What was meant as an insult
has provided endless laughter.
This means progress.
I was told that the body part upon which I sit
is entitled.
I was told to get off this particularly entitled body part
and get a job.
I have two things to say:
1. I have a job. Actually two jobs. Actually three.
I have been mothering for 9 years
and teaching yoga for 14
and it is a full time job being me,
it’s a tough job but someone’s gotta do it
and I’m the most qualified for it—
AND I AM DAMN GOOD AT WHAT I DO,
AND I WILL KEEP DOING IT, THANK YOU.
2. Yes, I am entitled,
and not just the body part on which I sit.
All of me is entitled.
All of me is entitled to:
love
respect
joy
beauty
care
kindness
compassion
understanding
abundance
and gratitude
(among other things, but the list is getting too long, so I’ll stop there. For now).
I am entitled to these things,
because this is what I give out.
Oh wait, there is a third thing I have to say:
3. YOU CAN’T HURT ME ANYMORE.
If you have any questions, comments or concerns,
just talk to the aforementioned entitled body part on which I sit.
I’m sure it will make itself very clear,
in one way or another.

Ready to Heal

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Healing can come quickly if we’re willing.
When we take those first tentative steps,
the Universe rallies to our support.
It doesn’t take much…
Just a word, a breath, a glance,
just a hint of a desire for change,
and the great big ball starts rolling.
Sometimes it feels like nothing has happened.
The shifts are so exquisitely subtle
that no one notices they have happened.
But many such shifts over time
add up incrementally
until you look back and see
that transformation has taken place.
Let my new prayer be
I am willing.
Let me trust completely
in the power that brought me here.
Let me open myself to the endless love
of the Divine expressed everywhere.
I am ready to heal.

Hope

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Some part of me had decided
a long time ago
that love wasn’t for me.
Happiness wasn’t for me.
Abundance wasn’t for me.
Health wasn’t for me.
This unconscious part
was running the show,
and as my life fell apart,
it felt more and more justified
in acting from its own limiting beliefs.
And how I suffered…
But then, my heart cried out for mercy.
Some part of me
(was it my soul?)
asked for Grace.
In the middle of my most broken moment,
some voice whispered
You have survived the worst…
it can only get better
from here on out.

I breathed into the center
of my deepest, darkest pain
and found there
a scared little girl
waiting to be loved.
She had searched everywhere
but in the place where the love actually lived.
It was time to bring her home,
to let her see that she is deeply loved
with a love that cannot be taken away.
As I became willing to relax
into the process of awakening
engineered masterfully
by the deep and abiding wisdom
at the center of my Self,
I saw and felt how this life
isn’t happening TO me—
it’s happening FOR me.
I fell to my knees,
surrendered,
heart broken open even more.
I’m in this tender place now,
picking up pieces of a self blown apart
by the storms of life.
I’m putting the puzzle together
piece by piece,
beginning to see some coherence.
Emerging from the depths of my being,
a new strength,
a willingness to grow, change and evolve,
and most of all…hope.


I Got A Haircut!

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I was married to a hairdresser,
and in June 2017
he told me he would no longer cut my hair.
(Or sleep in the same bed.
Or share our life, our finances, our time.)
I’ve been sleeping alone since then,
and have fought mightily
to stay committed to this plane of existence,
and I have progressed by leaps and bounds
since June 2017, when I was
a messy slobbering puddle on the floor
grieving my life before it was blown apart.
As time passed
I discovered that I enjoyed sleeping alone,
and I felt more committed to
staying on this plane of existence,
but I still hadn’t gotten my hair cut.
I had built up the importance
of finding a new hairdresser
to the point of feeling anxious
and overwhelmed at the prospect of choosing.
So I didn’t choose.
I did nothing.
My dear friend gifted me with a hair cut last July
when I visited her in Colorado,
and I was oh so grateful to be neatened up a bit…
but I still hadn’t found
someone else to cut my hair in this town where I live,
until today.
Today I picked up the phone,
dialed the salon nearest my house,
booked the next available appointment,
found my way into a chair just an hour later.
I got a haircut!
I got a haircut!
I got a haircut!
And I am free at last.

I Was Free

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And suddenly,
it was gone.
The need to be right.
The need to be sad.
The need to be angry.
All of it, suddenly, gone.
And what remained?
Space.
Space for this moment,
to welcome all the things
I’ve been telling myself
I really want.
I breathed,
and in came the joy.
I breathed,
and in came the power.
I breathed deeper,
and touched into the love
that was already there.
And I was free.
I was free.
I was free.

The Most Potent Medicine

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All of a sudden,
I gave myself permission
to be happy,
to heal.
I decided
to learn how to tolerate
feeling good,
to raise my threshold
for success.
I chose
to stop holding myself back,
making excuses.

I had given myself
the most potent medicine there is:

S E L F L O V E